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Viewing 15 posts - 1 through 15 (of 420 total)
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  • in reply to: FOR MONIQUE #42186
    monique
    Participant

    Many thanks for your kind wishes, Vera. Every blessing to you and yours.

    Monique

    in reply to: F&F GROUPS #6071
    monique
    Participant

    Hi Velvet
    All good wishes for now and the coming year. I hope your husband is ok.

    Monique

    in reply to: Thank you Monique #8853
    monique
    Participant

    Hi Vera. How kind of you to put your thoughts out here, showing your appreciation.
    I do miss the group times too and hopefully, one day, we will start up again.
    Just now, I have a lot going on that needs to be attended to, so I can’t put a date on a return. But it’s nice to be remembered!
    (I do see your posts, so still keep a bit in touch.)

    All good wishes,

    Monique

    in reply to: Thank you Monique #8851
    monique
    Participant

    Thank you both for your kind words. I shall miss you too – but hope to catch up in the future. Meanwhile, keep going with recovery and always take care of yourselves and others on their journey.

    Best wishes,

    Monique

    in reply to: New girlfriend – and she’s a gambler #5600
    monique
    Participant

    I have just read through your thread, including all the responses you have had. Some folk have written very bluntly and honestly – I think because they can see that you are most likely in a lot of danger, but are rationalising the warning signs, because you also see something that you really, really want. As others have already said, that ‘something’ may turn out to be part of a big manipulationon on the part of your girlfriend.
    I too would say please look after yourself, protect your finances, look for a sharing of responsibility in this relationship etc. Be prepared to step back a bit and put some healthy boundaries in place – if you can’t get cooperation on that, ask why and if things are right for you.
    I think most of the important points have already been made quite forcibly. Do please take care and perhaps pause before things go further – if it is a good relationship, it will pick up after a pause, but, if not, you may just save yourself from a lot of pain.
    Do offer your support for your g/f to work on her own recovery, but don’t risk your own well-being and safety.

    Best wishes,

    Monique

    in reply to: Time is now #36772
    monique
    Participant

    Hello and thanks for starting a thread in the Gambling Therapy forums

    Here at Gambling Therapy we pride ourselves on being a caring and diverse online community who can help and support you with the difficulties you’re currently facing. We understand that this might be a tough time for you, particularly if you’re new to recovery, so come here as often as you need to and participate in the forums, access online groups and connect to the live advice helpline if you need one to one support. We’re in this together!

    Here on the forum you can share your experiences in a safe, supportive and accepting environment. The beauty of writing it all down is that you can take your time and you will be creating a record of your progress that you can look back on if it ever feels like you’re not moving forward. So, share as much or as little as you like but do try to stick to keeping just one thread in this forum so people know where to find you if they want to be updated on your progress or share something with you.

    As well as the forums New Members are invited to join Charles in the New Members Practical Advice Group On Mondays at 21:00 (UK) and Thursday at 19:00(UK)

    And on that note….

    I’m going to hand you over to our community because I’m sure they will have some words of wisdom for you 🙂

    Take care

    The Gambling Therapy Team

    PS: Let me just remind you to take a look at our privacy policy and terms and conditions so you know how it all works!

    in reply to: Confessions of a slot Junkie #12582
    monique
    Participant

    Hi Slotjunkie

    I’m sorry that we got disconnected during group. Internet problems. It was good to chat briefly.

    Best wishes,

    Monique

    in reply to: how do I start to write a journal ? #28418
    monique
    Participant

    Good to hear from you, Seri. Hope all continues well for your Dad and that you can find the right way forward regarding keeping your finances safe from now on.

    Best wishes,
    Monique

    in reply to: My Day 1 to avoid having another Day 1 #35973
    monique
    Participant

    Hello and thanks for starting a thread in the Gambling Therapy forums

    Here at Gambling Therapy we pride ourselves on being a caring and diverse online community who can help and support you with the difficulties you’re currently facing. We understand that this might be a tough time for you, particularly if you’re new to recovery, so come here as often as you need to and participate in the forums, access online groups and connect to the live advice helpline if you need one to one support. We’re in this together!

    Here on the forum you can share your experiences in a safe, supportive and accepting environment. The beauty of writing it all down is that you can take your time and you will be creating a record of your progress that you can look back on if it ever feels like you’re not moving forward. So, share as much or as little as you like but do try to stick to keeping just one thread in this forum so people know where to find you if they want to be updated on your progress or share something with you.

    As well as the forums New Members are invited to join Charles in the New Members Practical Advice Group On Mondays at 21:00 (UK) and Thursday at 19:00(UK)

    And on that note….

    I’m going to hand you over to our community because I’m sure they will have some words of wisdom for you 🙂

    Take care

    The Gambling Therapy Team

    PS: Let me just remind you to take a look at our privacy policy and terms and conditions so you know how it all works!

    in reply to: New/Shocked #5399
    monique
    Participant

    It is hard to rest with so much going on in your life – and in your mind. I just have a couple of responses to what you have written. One is that a lot of aspects of a gambler’s life and character will be extremely difficult to ‘understand’ in a logical way and I wonder if, just for now, you could persuade yourself not even to try to work it all out? I say this for YOU. To give you a break. I know it’s easier to say than to do, but if you can try to tell yourself actively ‘just now I cannot understand all this, so I am going to do something that is practical and helpful for me – or even fun for me’. In other words, concentrate on something completely different and hopefully something more enjoyable. You may not succeed at putting your questions aside for long at a time to begin with, but, with practice, maybe you will find you can manage it more and more.

    Before you go to bed, try to do pleasant and relaxing things for you and whatever you know will help you to sleep. If complex issues come to mind, tell them firmly that you will see if there’s anything you can do about them in the morning.

    Regarding contact with your husband … separation may be temporary or permanent. At this point, you don’t need to have made that decision. But it could be good for you to have a bit more space at this time. Could you practise not making contact for a while? You know the situation, so you could decide if a day or several days or a week would be a realistic goal and just aim not to reach out to your phone for the period of time you choose. Does that sound like something that you could do? It might just help you to concentrate on the things that you can control and that are about the welfare of you and your children. It might help you see what you can manage and you can see if it makes you feel any more at ease.

    Just a couple of thoughts – take what is useful and ignore the rest.

    It’s good to see you writing here.

    Best wishes,

    Monique

    in reply to: New/Shocked #5395
    monique
    Participant

    I hope you will soon get more replies from others, who can offer their support and friendship as you face your struggles. Everyone is different and, with help, you will find your own ways forward, but there are often experiences and feelings that are common amongst family members and hearing about these can help you feel less alone and encourage you.

    It sounds from what you write that you are a strong person, who is already capable of making tough decisions and carrying them through. This does not mean that it will be easy or that you will not have doubts, but you demonstrate inner strength and determination, which are very useful qualities.

    If you can now give yourself some further attention, that may be helpful. You have been the caretaker, the fixer as you say – now do take care of yourself, consider your own needs and even ‘wants’ and look after ‘you’. It sounds simple, but you probably know it isn’t at all easy for people who always think of their responsibilities to others first. Of course, you will continue to care for your children as a priority, but they too will benefit from being with a woman who can also consider her own needs. Looking after ‘you’ is also, in the long run, good for your partner, although he may not think that right now. It may help him ‘see’ himself more clearly if you are not actively trying to ‘fix’ things. He may be very unhappy but not yet aware fully of what he needs to do for himself. He will benefit from your love and support, but you need time to work out what that is in your context – it is not about protecting him from his own responsibilities, but supporting him to make the right decisions to seek recovery, for example. And maybe it is standing back, if he is not ready to move towards seeking recovery. That can be hard and leave you feeling conflicted etc. Though it looks like you have started doing this.

    Do continue to write here and also join the live support groups, if you can, and I hope discussions with others will help you.

    Best wishes,

    Monique

    in reply to: New/Shocked #5394
    monique
    Participant

    <

    Hello

    Thanks for starting a thread in the Gambling Therapy friends and family forum. This forum will provide you with warmth and understanding from your peers.

    Feel free to use the friends and family group, you’ll find the times for these if you click on the “Group times” box on our Home page. Now that you have introduced yourself you’ll find that many of the people you meet here have already read your initial introduction and they’ll welcome you in like an old friend 🙂

    If you’re the friend or family member of someone who is either in, or has been through, the GMA residential programme please take extra care to make sure that nothing you say in groups, or on our forums, inadvertently identifies that person. Even if your loved one isn’t connected with GMA, please don’t identify them either directly or indirectly just in case they decide to use the site themselves.

    You’ll find a lot of advice on this site, some of which you’ll follow, some you won’t…but that’s ok because only you fully understand your
    situation and what’s best for you and the people you love. So, take the support you need and leave the advice you don’t because it all comes from a caring, nurturing place 🙂

    We look forward to hearing all about you!

    Take care

    in reply to: Confessions of a slot Junkie #12574
    monique
    Participant

    Thank you for writing. That’s a shame you missed out. The first group is a drop in, so people can enter at any point, but the second one only has a 15 minute entry ‘window’. But best wishes and hope to chat again soon.

    Monique

    in reply to: Gordon Moody #35905
    monique
    Participant

    It was good to meet you in group. Hope you find answers to your questions and, most of all, that you can find yourself at peace and able to put worries aside. You will be well supported as you work through the residential programme.

    Best wishes,

    Monique

    in reply to: I don’t know what has happened to me? #35911
    monique
    Participant

    Just another personal word of welcome. Also well done on what you have achieved so far – and best wishes for the journey ahead. Use all the support you can find on here and elsewhere, as appropriate.
    I also note that there are two threads in your name – do stick to writing on just one, so that it is easier for you to see replies and for others to follow your posts, too.

    Best wishes,

    Monique

Viewing 15 posts - 1 through 15 (of 420 total)