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Mred321Participant
Please remember we are all friends here no matter what you did or are going to do.We have all been where you are right now. A lot of us will offer suggestions and advice some of it you may like to listen to and some not . We will try to tell you what has helped us get better. My heart goes out to you . I dont post on here very much. But I read most of the posts and can relate to them because it hits you right in the gut and some of the things that I read about help me very much. Peace be with you my friend. We will all be praying for you.
Mred321ParticipantI am glad you are here . I was once where you are now.My problem was mostly horses. I used to miss work all the time so I could go to the races. One of my biggest problems was also being selfish. Its was all about me. It is hard to break out of this, Some one once suggested to me to write down ways to be unselfish. Such as what can I do for my wife today to make today very special for her like maybe cook dinner for her or do the dishes. This also might help your urges by planning something for your wife instead of looking for ways to destroy yourself on the internet. Well hoe you are doing better today remember it can only get better. Keep going to meetings even if you think its not helping. at least if you are there it keeps you out of trouble.Also try to put your money out of reach. I am sure your wife would help you with this. My name is off all our accounts.This might be hard though if you are in charge of a business. Talk to you later my friend.
Mred321Participantjust remember we are never cured. Try to remember enjoy your time away from the bet. Dont dwell on the past Its over . Yes people slip this is an awful disease it never gives up there fore you must never give up and say what will it hurt a few dollars no one will know. Down inside you will know what it will lead to. Keep up the good work my friend.
Mred321ParticipantI myself got 18 yesses the first time but after a few months more i got all 20.Sounds like you stopped for a while even though you are not strictly following many of the principles that a lot of us use not to gamble. I dont want to repeat a lot of them right here as many of my friends here have already told you them but a few I would like to hit on are these.You should really tell your wife now. If she finds out about it from somewhere else it will be much worse.She may be really mad for a while. But in the end she will be a lot of help.Anoither big one is dont associate with people who gamble it will test and tempt you into things you dont want to do. Stay out of places that have lottery and if you think you are going to gamble on the internet. The best thing to do is get rid of your laptops and internet.I only go on here when my wife is watching what I do.I also give all money control to my wife. I know this sound like a lot of stuff to do.Some people do a 12 step program. Well I hope you make it another day.Talk to you later
Mred321ParticipantThere is no cure. But our disease can be arrested. We all did what you are doing now . It feels like there is no where to turn . No where to go . We only try to seek help when there is no where else to get money.The most important thing to do is to stop trying to win it all back IT WILL NEVER HAPPEN. I have tried for many years to win it back. Yes I have hit a few times . But the win is never big enough. I always gave it back . If not the same day . It was the next day.I have a friend at the GA meeting. He hit for 100,000 grand twice on scratchoffs .but he spent 500,000 doing it and he also lost the money he won. So jlanuz we will try to help you we all have been where you are right now there is hope.Keep talking to someone like your cousin . I think your family still loves you they just hate the way you are now. My wonderful wife still is with me and I have done most of the same things as you have .But she will never trust me with more than a few dollars and I must provide receipts for everything…. There is hope.If you are feeling really bad perhaps there is someone you can talk to about it . Good wishes to you in your attempt to become well.
Mred321ParticipantHello my friend. Hope you are doing well. May I suggest something . I dont know if you have a good friend or relative you can trust . If you have someone you need to talk to them about this and give them your credit cards and all your money. This is what I do and then if I did go back I didnt blow everything . Only what I had on me at the time. I went so far as to take my retirement money all out and gave it to someone for safekeeping even though I took a big hit on the taxes. Its better to have most of it than none at all . Have a great day my friend.ODAAT.
Mred321ParticipantHello my friend. Hope you are doing well. May I suggest something . I dont know if you have a good friend or relative you can trust . If you have someone you need to talk to them about this and give them your credit cards and all your money. This is what I do and then if I did go back I didnt blow everything . Only what I had on me at the time. I went so far as to take my retirement money all out and gave it to someone for safekeeping even though I took a big hit on the taxes. Its better to have most of it than none at all . Have a great day my friend.ODAAT.
Mred321Participantthanks jansdad
Mred321ParticipantGlad you are here.It took me around until I was 40 something to realize I was a compulsive gambler. And I started around 12 years old when I would go with dear old dad to the horses .I am in no way cured. But I am now under control.My wife handles all of my money.When I was young like you I started playing horses my dad would place my bets.It was funny because I would always win and he would lose and then borrow my money. He almost never payed me back of course.But when I grew older I didnt win so much and the disease took over. I would steel cheat and lie to get money. I would think I had it under control. But each time I stopped for a while and thought I could control it I only lost more and finally when I was out on the street My wife threw me out for a while and for some reason she took me back when i convinced her I was “cured”. Then I did it again without her knowing. I had gotten an inheritance from my mom and blew that also.Anyway enough about me . I am glad you are here and seeking help.Welcome . The people here know how you are feeling and will try to help you. It is up to you to listen and try to help yourself. A lot of us have won large sums at first but that only helps the disease dig in to your soul and takes over. There will never be a big enough win you will always lose and give it back. You should see if there is a GA meeting around where you live .I go to meetings and they help me out greatly . Talk yo you later my friend
Mred321ParticipantI am also an ex horse player. I have wasted many days at the track.I started in the days before you could bet on your laptop or phone . I had to actually go to the track to blow all of my money.I live in the states but we are all the same . I was able to control myself pretty much when the only thing you could wager on was the live races at the track you were currently attending. But then the powers that be figured out they could take more of your money if sent in the signal from other race race tracks. Oh at first it was only a few tracks from my home state. Then they started going nationwide. We had the chance to lose money at 25 or 30 different tracks at a time. well my friend I dont have to tell you what happened next . I lost every thing my house my car my job…Hopefully you have not reach this point and figured out for yourself that it has to stop now. I have stopped for a few years at a time and thought it was ok to go back to the bet. But this disease is never cured it can only be arrested. What works best for me is to stay out of places where you can gamble. yes I got hooked on ruboffs even though I thought it was ok because I only had a problem with horses. So i try to go to stores that do not sell them.I also put money on a gas card that way i dont have to go inside to pay and be tempted by the lottery tickets. I also dont carry much cash only what I need to buy lunch and maybe a coffee.Also if you have someone you can trust to give your finances over to so you dont have access to any money also would help. And find something to do with your new found free time. Dont become bored that is the worse thing that can happen being bored.talk to you later
Mred321ParticipantIt is a long hard road . I have been where you are homeless no money no where to turn . But there is hope.The other people here are better at helping people than I am But you need to see that there is hope.Welcome to the group here.
Mred321Participantthis is a disease I have been trying to beat it for 30 years now please post any Questions you may have someone will try to answer them for you.
Mred321ParticipantI have a friend at the meetings . If he gets an urge he will take his bank cards and put them in the mail. In a couple days they come back to his house after he calms down.
Mred321ParticipantNice to see you were here hope everything is well > I am not home very much so I dont get to read some posts until way later. Hang in there I hope you told your BF everything that is the best way for him to help you.If there is GA meeting around where you live try going to a meeting.
Mred321ParticipantI am the son of a CG. I am a CG . I wish I had the magic solution to all of your pain. let me tell you some about myself. I gambled and bet on stuff until I was around 35. I am now 50 and still have problems not going back to the bet.That was the first time I tried to stop when I was 35. I would disapear for a few days at a time. I would drive to the race track and then sleep in the car until they opened back up again.. This was before they turned it into a casino now they stay open all night. I would do this until I ran out of money sometimes it would take 3 or 4 days. Then I would crawl back home and promise I would never do it again. That would only last until I could somehow beg borrow or steal more money to bet with. Whan and only when I could not get more money from anywhere. My cards were all maxed out. The bank would not give me more money. That was when I even dared to think about really stopping. MY relatives the ones that would still speak to me all cut me off. My wife threatened to leave me .Now that I look back upon the situation. she should have left me and kept on running. She thought she could straighten me out somehow. To this day she is still trying. All I do is make her miserable and make her worry about what I am up to. I was fine for a few years until my mother left me some money and it started all over again. I am on the slow road to making myself a better person. I go to meetings for GA they help out . The thing is your husband must try to help himself. You must not fall for all the stuff he may be telling you. I kept lying about little stuff even after I stopped gambling. I have stopped gambling for a few months now. I can only thank God my daughter does not have the disease or will ever not get it. She is 25 now and doing very well in life even though I did not have much to do with that. I thank my wife for doing her best to raise my daughter. Hope you have the courage to resist your husband until you can see that he is actually getting better. Remember it not your fault . you do not take him to the casino or wherever he goes to gamble. You are a good person. Thank you for being here It helps those of us who need reminding of the damage we do to others . Thank you for taking the time to read this I hope it helps . Remember try not to blame yourself It is he that has the problem not you.
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