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  • in reply to: My Life #24664
    sam.sam
    Participant

    Hi Charles. Thanks. Yes it is a lot of material. first I did not notice it. Each time I read them I learn something new. It might be because Now I look at it as it is a course I have taken and have to understand and pass it.
    Today I had quite a sort of struggle. Where I went today, there where so many betting shops, and I could feel that I still am not strong enough. I was standing in front of a betting shop for at least 10 minutes deciding going in or not. It is really awful struggle, and I bombarded myself with the reasons why I should not get into that game again. I was telling myself it is not a bet or few pounds, but it is my whole system of thought on the line here. I think it did work at the end. I should self exclude myself there as well, because I might go there more often to visit a friend.
    One day at a time,
    All the best.

    in reply to: My Life #24662
    sam.sam
    Participant

    Hi again, we mentioned balance sheet.Think about crossing the road- it would be quicker and easier to just walk out into the road without having to look for cars or wait for the green light, but you are aware that negative consequences prevent you from doing this. In your head you will have computed a quick decisional balance about the pros and cons of stepping into the road without looking first.
    I am sure that you are aware of the thinking that has gone on in your head about crossing the road-it happens every time but it is ” unconscious and automatic ” As a child we have to think and learn that and repeat that until it becomes automatic behaviour.
    The use of balance sheet with gambling aims to help you with the same process; your thinking has been unconscious and automatic about gambling and to change that you need to be more conscious about the positive and negatives of gambling, particularly before you find yourself gambling.
    ((((Our mind tend to lie one way or another about things; holding two competing thoughts in our minds at the same time requires more effort. there are fewer people who are labour and and conservative supporters than those who choose one side or another. It is easier to do.
    You may similarly find that you think all positive thoughts about gambling just before gambling and all negative thoughts afterwards. The balance sheet is a tool to allow you to see both sides.
    With practice, the balance sheet can become part of your automatic thinking when faced with a gambling stimulus. In the same way that your thoughts work when the alarm goes off in the morning. You would like to stay in bed but then you have to be at work…so you decide to wake up. With repetition it becomes automatic. practice is the key here.
    How to complete a balance sheet:
    what is good about gambling?
    Some times is difficult to remember what positive of gambling are or where. With the balance sheet you need to think back to when you were gambling and try to briefly immerse yourself in the experience. What was going on for you, when gambling? How did you feel while gambling?What were you feeling after a win? What were you feeling when you made the decision to gamble? What was the purpose of the gambling for you? How did it meet your needs?
    ((((( What is bad about gambling/
    Often people find this easier. However, you need to think broadly about all of the consequences of gambling. How has it hurt you? what has it prevented you from doing? How has it affected your life? How has it affected the lives of those around you? Where might you be by now if you had never gambled, or stopped few days, months, years ago?

    ((( what is good and bad about not gambling?
    This is not just the absence of bad things. You need to visualise a world without gambling-imagine that a global ban on gambling is put in place tomorrow-it is gone from the face of the planet. What is that world like? What can you do now? But also, being honest, what is missing? Gambling is doing some thing for you and when that is gone, there is likely to be something of a gap.
    Going back to the balance sheet, your job is to retain your mind to think about gambling in an AND fashion. In reality for your gambling as a compulsive gambler it will be some positive AND some negatives. Pros and Cons. Those positives may just be a brief sense of hope, or some respite from worrying about your problems, but they are there, and that is why you are gambling continued after you had started losing.
    You know by now, as compulsive gambler, you can not gamble in a controlled fashion. Any gambling is going to lead to losses as you have difficulty stopping until money is exhausted, and losses lead to all the negative consequences listed on the right side of your balance sheet.

    Memory trick:
    Gambling is a trick of the memory. Your memory of gambling wins will be greater than your memory of losses. Our minds are generally better able to minimise losses and to forget them- if we were to remember all those losses in our life we would not function very well. This is what happens with people who are depressed; they have a negative bias for memories.
    So, it is easier to remember wins, especially large ones. Gambling also offers occasional wins, so the memory of wins is continually refreshed. However, you know only too well that the larger picture for you is one of overall loss. The trouble is this hard to remember when you are thinking of gambling. So you need a memory aide.

    We use memory aids in our life all the time; calendars, with events on and diaries are both memory aids. Television guides are memory aids, phone books… the balance sheet works for us as memory aide.
    Your aim over the next weeks and months will be to work on altering your memory. you will not be adding anything new to your memory- you know the reason you want to stop gambling. Rather you will be practising accessing those memories at the right time. It is little use remembering why you want to stop gambling after you have gambled, you need to remember this before gambling.
    Your aim is to develop a new way of reaching to thoughts and memories of the desire to gamble, that thought will be: YES, BUT…..
    As in, ‘yes it would be nice/good to gamble, but the negatives far outweigh to positives. This thought recognises that there are positive and negative reasons to gamble, but that you know the negative are too serious to consider acting on the positives.
    We do this sort of thinking all the time, we inhabit the desire to act because of the consequences. Getting up in the morning, going to work, brushing your teeth, they are all the thing that you might rather not doing but you do then because of negative consequences that will occur if you don’t.

    Ok my friends, it was what I could say I learned or studied in between the week 1 and week 2 of my counselling session.
    I hope it helps someone to stop and think differently about the gambling behaviour, or a family member to understand what is happening to us when we are trying to explain.
    All the best,
    sam.

    in reply to: My Life #24661
    sam.sam
    Participant

    Hi every one. As I mentioned before, from this week I will write about what we were learning in the 8 weeks of my counseling course.
    we usually where 8 people attending our meeting on average I will try to make it very short so you wont get bored with long written texts.
    The first thing was for us to have a “GOAL” for treatment.
    My goal is ……………………..
    Remember also to think about how READY and how CONFIDENT you feel about changing. You can do this by estimating how you feel to change:
    Right now I would rate how ready I feel to change as …/10
    Right now I would rate how confident I feel to achieve change as …./10

    when you are done,look at the figures you put there, if it is “1” why is it not zero? what was that made you write 1 not zero?
    Also, think what might need to happen for the score to move up 1, say from 1 to a 2? how would you know that things had changed? what could you do right now to make a number move up one notch?

    I can improve how ready and/ or confident I am right now by :………………………………………………………………………………….
    STIMULUS CONTROL:
    Stimulus control simply means taking away the availability of gambling, reducing the opportunity to gamble.
    Gambling is an impulse control disorder; what this means is that people find themselves gambling often without making a conscious decision to do so. they act as impulse only.

    ” Gambling stimulus >>>>>>>>Gambling behaviour”
    A gambling stimulus simply means something that reminds you of gambling; that might be the sight of a bookmaker’s premises, particular sporting event or an advertisement of some kind. A stimulus can also be access to “spare” money, cash that you think you can afford to lose and that no-one will know about it.
    In the early days of change it is important to try to limit your exposure to gambling stimulus as much as possible. Obviously it is very difficult; people need to walk down a street and carry money at some point.
    So we talk about limiting exposure. By limiting that we are aiming to interrupt the automatic process of being exposed to stimulus and going on to gamble.
    Say you are walking down the street and you see the bookmaker’s premises, you know that a football match is about to start and you think you can predict the result of it. You start thinking about gambling and automatically begin to walk towards the book maker’s, at the same time you reach into your pocket and find that you have left your wallet at home. You have no money.
    in this scenario the automatic process of gambling is halted and you have to think twice about what to do. Now, that thought might well be how to get money, but it might also be whether it is a good idea to gamble. You are at least giving yourself a chance to think about it.
    **Gambling stimulus (((Second thought))) gambling behaviour
    How to control gambling stimulus?
    *gambling thought +gambling opportunity = gambling behaviour
    Gambling thought +no opportunity = no gambling
    or look at it like this:
    *gambling thought + gambling facilities + access to cash= Gambling behaviour

    Reduce access to cash: only carry what you need, if you need £3 do not take £5 with you
    become accustomed to walking around with no money. You will quickly learn how little money you need to carry around.
    leave debit/ credit card at home or give them to some one else.
    **If you have spare money in your current account, set up a limited access.
    **Hand control of your finances to someone you trust
    **exclusion from gambling promesses.

    List of blocking websites:
    gamblock.com-
    k9webprotection.com
    netnany.com
    blocking software is for people who play online.
    Another way to help yourself in not gambling is to use a balance sheet to weigh up the pros and cons of a particular behaviour. It can and should be used more than once.

    Ok my friends, I have another 2 pages to type and have to go out now. I will write the rest of it, later tonight.
    All the best,
    Sam.

    in reply to: My Life #24660
    sam.sam
    Participant

    Hi P. I hope everything is ok for you now. I was just reading your page, and felt sorry that I was not here when you were going through the hard time. Hopefully it does not happens again a life will treat you a lot better. We all are in the same boat. the weather changing in our sea of life and our boat moves unexpectedly over and under the waves. But we are still here watching. All the best my dear P.

    in reply to: My Life #24659
    sam.sam
    Participant

    Hi Sad. I was just in your page and reading the latest update from your journal. I am glad that you are aware of your thought a trying to control them. I am sure that you are strong and are able to control the gambling urges.
    The video you recommended, ” understanding joy” I have just finished watching that, and think it is the story of us, all. If continueing gambling that is what is waiting for us. Hope not. I have watching a lots of videos and documentaries on gambling these days. Most of them are the story of our life on screen. I am taking notes of the point they are trying to make, and think about them. Using them to understand what is the gambling, or changes in our brain would do to us, or makes us do, or think about doing.
    I hope all be good for you today Sad. All the best.

    in reply to: My Life #24655
    sam.sam
    Participant

    I was looking for materials on gambling to educate myself towards being better at being away from gambling, and controlling the urges and I came across a video interview done by national problem gambling (soho centre) where I am at the moment attending for my cbt counselling sessions, in front of students. I will soon start to write about the classes I attend and the way it helped me, in details. Till then enjoy the time without gambling in your life. Sam. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ow5buwxP1lA

    in reply to: My Life #24654
    sam.sam
    Participant

    I was looking for materials on gambling to educate myself towards being better at being away from gambling, and controlling the urges and I came across a video interview done by national problem gambling (soho centre) where I am at the moment attending for my cbt counselling sessions, in front of students. I will soon start to write about the classes I attend and the way it helped me, in details. Till then enjoy the time without gambling in your life. Sam. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ow5buwxP1lA

    in reply to: My Life #24653
    sam.sam
    Participant

    Hi Charles. Thanks for the support. I really enjoyed our chat in on friday. I hope we talk again soon.

    in reply to: My Life #24652
    sam.sam
    Participant

    Hi. I have been away from gambling actions for around 4 weeks now. I do not count the weeks, but from the time table I have from my national problem gambling centre, I guess it is that long.
    I have been going to my weekly meetings and am very happy with the way it is progressing.
    As I mentioned before, my addiction came to the point that I took money from someone who trusted me and spent it on gambling. It was not easy situation, not emotionally and not in a legal perspective.
    But in my surprise in both area I had so much help, from soho centre(gambling therapy centre) by them listening to me, and supporting me by promising follow up help after the 8 week course I am doing now. On the legal part of the situation, the person I talk to about what I have done, was very understanding and by agreeing on a repayment plan, allowed me to work on my addiction.
    Now I am in a position to decide whether I want to gamble again, and make my life more miserable or I want to use this experience, to start building a healthy life towards the future.
    I have already chosen the second approach, and towards that I am taking my counselling sessions very seriously and read to understand all the handouts from them. Infact I refer to them lots of time to reinforce the changes in my way of thinking. I can not say it is the best place I have ever referred myself to, but I can say that I am more ready for the change there for their teaching is more affective. In time I will write more about the way we do in our counselling sessions. all the best to all of you.

    in reply to: My Life #24650
    sam.sam
    Participant

    Thank you all for being here for people in need.

    in reply to: My Life #24647
    sam.sam
    Participant

    Hi Sad. I am still in a worry land, and waiting to see the consequence of my stupid action. In one week I made my life upside down. I think I do not recognize my happiness any more, there for when I am in a good position and healthy circumstances I want to change it to uncertainty. Very strange.
    Thanks Sad.

    in reply to: My Life #24646
    sam.sam
    Participant

    Hi. Thank you very much. I need as much prayers as I can at the moment. I am glad I am back here between you people who always helped me. Lets hope this time I will be more careful with my steps.
    Thank you for being here

    in reply to: My Life #24645
    sam.sam
    Participant

    Hi Monique,
    Sorry I could not make it to your session. I am not sure what I am going trough at the moment. It is uncertainty and confusion. I am very worry about every thing around me. I am awake and feel, that is only good thing about it, but it does makes it feel even worse. Reality is hard to accept at the moment. This will pass also.. I hope my next step will be wisely calculated.
    Thanks again.

    in reply to: My Life #24639
    sam.sam
    Participant

    Hi charles.
    Glad to see your name here. Charles I am in the deepest hole ever. My addiction is co much stronger than me now. got my control like driving a car. I am getting mad. i need to talk to you soon. the classes are good in soho but yet has not effected me. I am in danger of not being able to take it this time. I need to talk to you alone on a chat room or don’t know, getting crazy man, i do not know myself any more, my mind is not mine any more, I need more help, need to be nail down with some water and get trough it. twice in a short time made the same mistake. dangerous steps. I have to talk to some one . sorry

    in reply to: My Life #24640
    sam.sam
    Participant

    Hi charles.
    Glad to see your name here. Charles I am in the deepest hole ever. My addiction is co much stronger than me now. got my control like driving a car. I am getting mad. i need to talk to you soon. the classes are good in soho but yet has not effected me. I am in danger of not being able to take it this time. I need to talk to you alone on a chat room or don’t know, getting crazy man, i do not know myself any more, my mind is not mine any more, I need more help, need to be nail down with some water and get trough it. twice in a short time made the same mistake. dangerous steps. I have to talk to some one . sorry. I am lost with me.

Viewing 15 posts - 1 through 15 (of 180 total)