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Larry, we are all on the same journey (maybe at different stages) so your words of thoughtful wisdom is helpful to me too…not just the person you are posting to. I remember my cousin accusing his mom ‘you love ____ more than you do me!’ and she said ‘I love you all the same but _____ needs me right now. I’ll be here when you need me too." Thats kind of how I see you here…posting to those that need it the most with a lot of thought to just the right words. That takes a lot of energy.
I was watching Fox news and a Kennedy kid (can’t remember which one) who was afflicted with alcoholism wrote a book (of course I can’t even remember the name of the book either) and was asked how was he finally able to stop and he said by being part of a community of people that also wanted to stop and stay stopped. We are that community here. Together we can stop and stay stopped. We are the key.
I was watching Fox news and a Kennedy kid (can’t remember which one) who was afflicted with alcoholism wrote a book (of course I can’t even remember the name of the book either) and was asked how was he finally able to stop and he said by being part of a community of people that also wanted to stop and stay stopped. We are that community here. Together we can stop and stay stopped.
Chubby, I also only post my true feelings here. I’ve always been a private person but I wonder if the gambling life has helped us be experts at hiding our true self and feelings. Hope you get some rest Chubby and sleep better tonight. Things always seem worse when we’re exhausted.
Woohoo, any gamble free day is a victory!
Good for you in not gambling since July! That’s quit an accomplishment. You said you were in rehab. Was it gambling rehab? I wish there was something like that around here but I haven’t been able to find anything. I’d love to hear about any ‘tools’ you learned at rehab. Please share.
Bettie, hope you get some relief soon and that any surgery takes care of the pain.
Razz, I didn’t get to finish my post and it sent! My nagging pain was in my neck and shoulder. I went to the chiropractor (also a compulsive gambler) and he should me how to sit at the slot machine. Of course, when I’m in action, I don’t care how I am sitting I just want to keep hitting the spin button (sounds crazy!). I also wanted to say about the shame of gambling…I used to hate Mondays and going to work while everyone was talking about their weekends and I was ashamed to say my weekend was spent in the casino. Beautiful sunny days wasted in the dark dingy smokey den of gloom. Then I’d have to face my checking account because sometimes I lost track of what I lost and have to juggle money to avoid a possible overdraft. I thank God that I haven’t had days like that for many years but I still cringe and get a knotted feeling in my stomach when I do think about it. Razz, a life without gambling is worth giving it all you have! I know I’m rambling so I’ll just hit ‘send’.
I know a lot of people say to don’t blame the casino but it’s the greedy casino who use the best technology and gimmicks to entice us and addict us. They want to get us hooked and get our money. We are victims…but there comes a time when we realize the damage gambling is causing in our lives and we have the choice to try to break their hold. It’s so tough at first. That’s why it’s important for the road blocks so we can’t cause too much financial damage. In the early days, the need or desire to gamble is so strong that we do what we can just to gamble…again that’s why it’s important to make sure we CAN"T gamble. My heart broke for you when I read your post on Running Girls thread. I have some shameful gambling moments too…but that’s all behind us today. You have food, warmth and security. You are a winner.
Carole, I have a nest egg to but I’ll be using a lot of it for new furniture and appliances. I drove around but it’s hard to see house roofs with all the snow. I’ve decided to go with the blackish because it looks like a lot of nicer houses have it. I’m not sure what color to paint the house but I’m leaning towards a deep forest green and white or else a neutral slate blue and white. Too many choices!
Today is one of those days that I’m worried I’m posting too much personal stuff that someone might recognize me. If it’s someone that wants help, I wouldn’t care (and would welcome them contacting me) but if it’s someone that’s judgmental and gossipy (from work) then I’ll feel violated. I wonder if I should start a new name or just stop putting personal identifying stuff on here.
Another new baby calf this morning. We’re at two girls and one boy so far. I think there will be about 40 babies this year.
Hope everyone enjoyed their weekend. A boring gamble free weekend is good enough for me.
Hi Razz, I just read what you posted about never walking out a winner. Like you, I’ve hit some big wins but it only bought me more gambling time. It’s crazy to hit $700, enjoy the machine sounds, have everyone looking to see what you hit, cash out so you don’t spend it all and take twenty after twenty after twenty out of your purse to keep playing until there is no money left. Yep, I always walked out a loser. I would never be that careless with money anywhere but a casino. Razz, next time you think of gambling know that once you place that first bet…no win will be enough, no small jackpot will make you feel satisfied and there is no walking out a winner. Keep your money for you and your kids…then you’ll be a winner.
Sunday Jan 6th. Thanking the Good Lord above for another gamble free day.
Hetty, it is a tough road to recovery for any cg. It’s hard to know what’s going on in someone’s mind and their struggles. You are one of those people that sound strong, focused and determined. I know it’s just as hard for you and you are doing great. Having a card full of money and a chance to gamble does make you sound strong. That’s too much temptation for some of us. Keep doing whatever helps you to not gamble. Sherry
Oh Chubby, I’ve been there so many ***** and I really feel for you. This is where you learn that you don’t want to ‘go there’ again, and you probably will a few more ***** but you’ll learn what you want, or don’t want, in your life and it will get easier. I probably sound like a broken record but…I made sure I couldn’t access cash just so I wouldn’t have those regrets. I don’t have a debit card, stopped check writing/cashing at the casino, don’t have any pin numbers for credit cards and I bank at a credit union so I can’t get cash on the weekends because they are closed. I was frustrated a few ***** when I took $40 to the casino, couldn’t get more money, asked someone to hold my seat, drove the 15 minutes to Walmart to write a couple of $20 checks, run back to the casino, lost that quickly and didn’t have a choice but to leave. I know that limited my losses to a hundred or less instead of 5 ***** or 10 ***** more than that. I was angry (like any addict needing that fix) that I couldn’t get more money but later was relieved that I couldn’t. Chubby, what are you going to do to make sure you can’t get to gambling money? For now, you need to protect your money from this addiction because will-power alone isn’t enough for a cg in the early stages of trying to quit. I read a post from someone who mentioned they keep their money and cards locked in a safe at Gordon House. I think that would be a wonderful service where we could lock up all access to cash on Friday and pick them back up on Monday…or whatever ***** you needed help with. Hope you’re feeling better this afternoon. Don’t be too hard on yourself because if it was easy to stop gambling, without any stumbles, we wouldn’t all be here on this site. Sherry
Thanks or your post Maverick. You’re also a young man with lots of potential. As a mother, I just want the best for my son…and you too. You’re both trying to improve your life and I need to step back and let my son find his own way and I know he will.
We have another calf so now it’s one male and one female. The builder will start framing our house this week. So many choices though. I have to pick out the roofing color. Guess I’ll drive around town and look at roofs. I haven’t thought about roof color or even our house color yet. My husband doesn’t care. He said ‘whatever you want’.
I have an extra $200 coming the end of the month. The thought entered my mind that extra money used to go to the casino. When I knew it was coming, I’d lose it at the casino way before I even had it. Then I’d rationalise that it was ‘extra money’ anyway and then I’d try to win it back. By the time the $200 finally got here, my past self would have lost it many ***** over. The thought of extra money used to be another trigger. All I can do is to not let that thought grow the rest of today.