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soliloquyParticipant
Thanks for the message, Adele. It was nice to “meet” you as well. I take everything to heart that others tell me. At this point I am considering going to a GA meeting, perhaps next week. If nothing else perhaps to deter me from gambling again when money comes in next week. I’ve started a journal at home to help me clear my mind and keep track of my feelings that has helped me tremendously so far. My wife has been in on it and able to chip in with emotional support, too which is great.
At this point though I will have access to funds this weekend (until the bank situation is settled between my wife and I) and I’m itching for one last run. The problem I’m struggling with now is since I was a winning sports bettor, but a losing blackjack player I’m having urges to try to just play the sports and avoid the casino altogether. I know it’s stupid to try to split up the addiction between vices, but in all honesty if I had just stood away from blackjack I could have made a living off of sports betting, I seriously made more in one season of tennis betting than I do at my day job over the course of a year. I just always had the urge to make more money faster because I was limited in the sportsbook as a sharp (player who often beats the book) and thus I would bet on blackjack overnights and whenever games weren’t on which did me in ultimately.
Are there any other people who were in a similar situation of winning on one hand, but losing at another? I know it’s far-fetched to think it would work long-term, but I wanted to ask because it’s something that I haven’t been able to address in therapy yet and I’m so tempted to just make a small run on sports to cover some immediate bills that won’t be covered by my income for weeks at the soonest and they’re months past due. Obviously I have issues with either thrill seeking or greed to continue to play past some of the incredible amounts I’ve won and I’m sure I’ll get to those in due time, but how do I proceed right now? Any advice? Thanks
-Sol-soliloquyParticipantThanks Bettie, Sirena, and Harry for the support. I’m glad I finally took this step and just want to get back to my old self again. I’m looking forward to the group therapy sessions and hearing other people’s stories. I never knew how long and complicated mine was till I took to writing it. So far I’ve managed to handle a few urges successfully and hope to continue doing so.
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