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  • thegambler
    Participant

    Opprinnelig postet av theForsakenOne

    Så hjelp meg GUD! Etter 8 år slutter jeg endelig (bare GUD vet hvor mange ***** jeg sa dette), men denne gangen er virkelig, jeg sier dette med tårer i øynene og tenker på alle de kjærlighetene jeg forårsaket smerte. Jeg har bare 25 som har hele livet foran meg, jeg vet at det kommer til å bli vanskelig fra nå av, men jeg må bevise for meg selv at jeg kan gjøre det. Det har jeg lukket døren .Jeg må takke menneskene på dette nettstedet for at de ga meg håp. Jeg leste historier fra folk som har gamblet i 10,20,30 år, mistet tusenvis av pund, $ osv., Selvrespekt, … og jeg "Jeg sier til meg selv" Jeg vil ikke ende opp som det. " ALLE !!!!!!!! 1111

    Hei
    Jeg er veldig glad for å ha deg her min venn og mye mer glad for din beslutning. Jeg har ikke spilt fra 9/08/2010 nesten 2 uker.
    og jeg skal til gordon house for helm tomarrow. det eneste jeg vil si er at for ca 3 uker siden fant jeg dette nettstedet, og jeg begynte å ta en prat med en av dette nettstedets rådgivere, og han fortalte meg at jeg trenger hjelp til å slutte mitt gamble problem jeg godtok ham ikke, og jeg begynner dumt å fornekte at jeg trenger hjelp. jeg fortalte ham i: jeg tror at mennesket kan gjøre alt han vil.
    Likevel tror jeg at hvis vi bestemmer oss, kan vi gjøre alt vi vil, men vi trenger hjelp, vi trenger hjelp fra andre, og hovedbeslutningen om å slutte å spille er å søke hjelp og godta at vi trenger annen hjelp
    gå til møtet og vær sterk her
    lykke til og lykke til

    thegambler
    Participant

    Originally posted by theForsakenOne

      So help me GOD!After 8 years I"ll finally quit(only GOD knows how many ***** I"ved said this)but this time is for real,I"m saying this whith tears in my eyes thinking of all the love ones I caused pain.I"m only 25 got the whole life ahead of me,I know its gonna be hard from now on but I have to prove to myself that I can do it.Thats it I"ve closed the door.I have to thank the people on this site for giving me hope,strenght.I read story"s from people who gambled for 10,20,30 years lost thousand of £,$,etc.,selfrespect,…and I"m saying to myself "I don"t want to end up like that".So thanks alot guys.I"ll keep in touch because its one thing to say it and one thing to do it.Thank you and GOD BE WHITH US ALL!!!!!!!!1111

    Hi
    i am really happy to c you here my friend and much more happy about your desision I have not gamble from 9/08/2010 nearly 2 weeks .
    and i am going to gordon house for helm tomarrow .the onlything i want to say is that about 3 weeks ago i found this site and i start to have a chat with one of this site advicer and he told me that i need help to quit my gambel problem i did not accept him and i start stupidly to denay which i need help .i told him i:i beleive human can do everything he want.
    still i think if we make desision we can do everything we want but w,we need help we need help pf otheres and the main desision about quiting gambeling is to seek for help and accept that we need other helps
    please go to meeting and stay strong here
    good luck and all the besthamed

    in reply to: The urge came today #16772
    thegambler
    Participant

    Thank You Tim
    I think you are right I will
     hamed

    in reply to: why i feel stronger? #16790
    thegambler
    Participant

    looool i forgot to right why i feel stronger att all looool i feel stronger because i for the first time in last 5 years i am sure i made a right desision to be here and to get help which i dfenitly need .
    i know i am in right place now it makes me stronger
    good luck everyonehamed

    in reply to: 2 years on #16795
    thegambler
    Participant

    Really its a wonderfull post
    Congratulation dave
     hamed

    in reply to: Now is the time for wrighting #16832
    thegambler
    Participant

    Tanx p
     I always knew that I am not alone .maybe 20 years ago I read a book wrote by Feodor Dastayoski :The Gambler, Dastayoski get divorce and after that he start gambelling and in a few years he was in huge debt and he made a conntract to write a novel to oay off his debt ,and he had to write this novel on 26 days,some intresting thing about Dastayoski is that he used to dictate every word of his Novels ,any way  a beayriful young maybe 18 or 19 years old russian girl typing his novel and he write The Gambler in that 26 days ,he get married with that girl as well with a huge diffrente age

        A few weeks after reading this book ,I wacthed a Russian movie and the story was on base of that 26 days of life of dastayoski ,the period of time, he wrote The Gambler and the name of movie was

        26 Days of dastayoski’s life

        Dastayoski is a genius and I love russian litrature and russian cinemas they have a great cinema

        and it was an amausing film ,yesterday i wrote on myfacebook that the feeling which i had whne i was wacting that movie  and the fantesy which came to my mind after wacthing that movie and reading again and again that novel The Gambler,made my present time .loooool

        looks crazy but in some point it is really true and I am happy now I knew that with the help which i will get and i am already getting by knowing this site I will put an end in this gambeling problem but I approtiate my experince to ,the experince which tought me how can i live with nothing for weeks ,how can i need just essential for living .and how strong i could be

    hamed

    in reply to: Only read if you have the time #16816
    thegambler
    Participant

    i am happy for you mate but please go to meeting and dont relay just on your strenght we all need help to get rid of this addiction  itry lots of time by myself and in the end i know i need help please go to meeting and asked them to help youhamed

    in reply to: Only read if you have the time #16814
    thegambler
    Participant

    Hi harry
    I am in a same situation last week i lost my rent and i lost 1300 pound which i get from my flatmate to pay the rent as well. i have to leave my flat on 29th of this mount and i have nothing left till next wendesday . i sold all my stuff my camera my old laptop and my benefit money as well.
    nearlly 10 days ago i came here when i lost my rent money and i start to have a conversation with one of advicer here i t was the time that i still could pay the rent because my flatmate promissed me to hel me paying the rent .
    in that conversation i did not accept that i need help and i told to adviser that i beleive human been can sort it out all his problems if he want . the advicer told me that i need help and i just ignored that with lots of way ,making excuses and talking nonesence about the power of human been .
    the week after i was in mess .just on monday morning 9.08/2010 my flatmate gave me 1300 pound to pay the rent and at 11 am same day i lost that ,oney on betshops .
    back home with no hope and shame and embaresing sweeting and unable to think at all my flatmate cames back and called me i opened the door of my room and i told him cl…. i lost again.
    he was shocked he did not told me anything just he left the flat. i came here again and with a mental situation which i cant explain but i am quite sure you undrestand that ,in top right side of the homepage you can fimd live advice help;ine i went ther another adviser was there i dont know how i explain my situation i was just crying and typing
    he told me do you want to go to gordon house?
    i did not know what is gordon house i asked him a couple question and i told him yes please help me to go there
    i am refugee in uk and my wife left me on 2004 and i dont have family or friend here eccept my flatmate whi is not any more here i have nobody to relay on him or her
    i was frighten that time to be homeless as i am sick as well mentally suffering from deppration and anxity isorder ,
    i accept to go to gordon house maybe that time because i was frighten to be homeless
    he gave me a number i called them and another adviser guide me to download an application form and i print it out fill it sighned it and scaaned it and sentit back to gordon house associaation
    2 days ago i got the answer and they accepted me to go there and today i found my self in another situation i found a person from my own country and maybe he could  help me to find an accomodation when i have to leave this flat but i dont want to accept it do you know why?
    because i know i cant sort it out my problem by myself i need help i need someone who can help me to get rid of this addiction and i know i am 100 percent sure i cant sort it out by myself and i need special help from someone who knows the nature of this addiction
    and i want to go to gh and get help and sort it put my problem for ever
    i dont want to be a coumpulsive gambler anymore i want to be free i dont want to be slave any more that is enough
    my friend i am a forigner i am a refugee and still help is availble in UK for me defenitly there is help availble for you as well . you found already the way and you took the first step by posting your story aswell try and try and get in touch with those lovely kind expert adviser on live chat advise and asked them to guide you to  the right direction
    they knows what they are doing and they really care about every gambler
    my friend i  remember the time i was eating grass witha dog on park i remember the time i ate row meat because i did not feel ok to **** it .i remember the time for weeks i just took sedatove tablets to sleep and just drank tea
    my friend it is horrible and defenitly you know as well
    get in touch with them and ask help there is help availble for you just you have to ask and accept it
    i wish all the best for you forgive me for my poor english language i am not english but honestly i have a big big big respect for uk and uk people they are really nice and freindly
    all the best my friendhamed

    in reply to: Nu er det tid til at kæmpe #94024
    thegambler
    Participant

    tak kathrine for din kommentar
    nej jeg kan ikke spørge ham, fordi han forlod lejligheden i går, men alligevel har jeg ikke penge til at spille før næste torsdag, og den 29. af dette bjerg skal jeg til gordon house, jeg har barrierer nu, jeg tror, jeg har det nu
    jeg kommer ikke til at spille igen med hjælp, som jeg får fra gordon house
    jeg ved ikke så meget om gordon house, jeg fandt det ved chanse, jeg kom til gt -side, mens jeg søgte på google, og jeg forklarede min situation for en af rådgiverne her, og han tilbød mig at gå til gh, og jeg accepterer det
    jeg vidste de første 2 uger som en adgang, jeg må ikke gå ud af gh, og jeg er klar til at gøre det
    bare disse 15 dage ser ud til min levetid
    uforvarende for nogle papirværker og også nogle møbler, som min lejlighedskammerat efterlod i lejligheden, jeg kan ikke gå tidligere til gh, men på nogen måde er det bare 15 dage, selvom jeg synes, det er en levetid
    bare lad mig vide, tror du, jeg kan komme tilbage på vejen? kan jeg igen kunne tænke logisk og være i stand til at udføre mine pligter for fællesskabet, der hjalp mig til at være levende og sikker? kan jeg være nyttig igen? Jeg lider virkelig nu af alvorlige psykiske problemer, og jeg tror allerede, at du ved det, når jeg læser mine indlæg? som en gp ved jeg, at jeg kan helbrede denne sygdom, men kan det være, at jeg også har brug for en anden til at fortælle mig det?
    jeg ville ønske, at jeg kunne finde ud af mere om tingene i gh, så kan jeg gøre mig klar til at se det i øjnene. kender du nogen sider, der gav mig mere information om gh? Jeg har allerede deres websted, og jeg læste det. men der er ikke noget om de aktiviteter, der finder sted i gh.
    Jeg er bekymret for ikke at være levende eller død, jeg vil ikke dø i denne situation denne skamfulde situation.
    jeg var ligeglad med, om jeg blev henrettet af politisk grund i mit eget land, fordi det var mit valg, og jeg kunne være stolt af mig selv
    men at dø i denne situation er forfærdelig, jeg vil gerne være fri, og så er det ikke vigtigt at være dø eller være levende, men her nu i denne skamfulde forvirrende situation er det at dø endnu en skam
    hamret

    in reply to: Now is the time for wrighting #16830
    thegambler
    Participant

    thank you kathrine for your comment
    no i cant ask him because he left the flat yesterday but anyway i dont have money to gamble till next thursday and on 29th of this mount i am going to gordon house i have barriers now i think i have it now
    i am not going to do gamble again with help that i am getting from gordon house
    i dont know that much about gordon house i found it by chanse i came to gt page bu searching google and i explaind my situation to one of adviser here and he offerd me to go to gh and i accept it
    i knew for first 2 weeks as an accesment i am not allowed to go out of gh and i am ready to do that
    just this 15 days looks to my a life time
    unfurtunatlly for some papoerworks and also some furniture which my flatmate left in flat i cant go earlier to gh but any way its just 15 days even if i think its a life time
    just let me know do you think can i get back on the road ? can ibe able again to think lodgicly and be able to do my duties for community who helpped me to be alife and secure? can i be usefull again? i am really now suffering from serios mental problem and i think already you know that with reading my posts ? as a gp i know i can cure from this illness but may be i need someone else to tell me as well ?
    i wish i could find out more about the things in gh then i can make myself ready to face it do you know any pages which gave me more information about gh? i already have thier website and i read that . but there is not anything about the acctivities which taking place in gh  .
    i am worry not for being alife or dead , i dont want to be die in this situation this shamefull situation .
    i did not care if i was ececuted for political reason in my own country ,because it was my choice and i could be proud of myself
    but dieing in this situation is horrible ,i want to be free and then it is not important to be die or to be alife ,but here now in this shamefull embaricing situation dieing is another shame
     hamed

    in reply to: Now is the time for wrighting #16828
    thegambler
    Participant

    such a stupid life i passed in last 5 years. i cant beleive that .I was a very active person my aim in my life was to help otheres i was working for 10 years in very remote area in iran just to help people who id not have medical facilities i was a amature photographer and i took morebthan 3000 portrate from kids which i love them .even in my worse time of my life when i see a kid i cant stop smiling at her or him .i dont know what happend for me .
    i remember a story from buda who saw someone with an arrow in his leg and he asked himself why me ? who through this arrow to me and why? buda says :he die before he could find who hit him. he should first take out the arrow from his leg and then think why and who hit him.
    its my situation for more than 4 years i asked myself why ? why? why? it was a mistake i should take out the gamble arrow first from my body and then i should think why or maybe after that even i did not need to know why?
    any way looks i am righting for myself and i am happy becouase i know even in my language may be just a few people could undrestand me
    i always lived in my dreams and i thought i have to follow my dreams its right i have to but i dont know is my dreams was my reall dreams or not
    i have diffrent dreams from others i never own anythinhg i hate ownership i wanted to share everything which i had with others i was a comunist acctually in reallity and it dose not work
    i love herman hese and his famous bood steppen wolf and i am a fan of paolo coelio and i love his book alchemist
    i lived this 2 books in my life i passed tow big seas in 1996 when i scaped first time from my country because i had to
    i was in afganistan in 2001 just 2 mounts before 9/11 because i wanted to help those who fighted against taliban and i put myself in a very dangerous situation to help afganish people who sufferd from taliban goverment
    i was in kossovo in 1998 when kossovian people was fighting against miloshovich army and i went there to help them
    i dont know anybody here read the book called Rudin RIGHT BY IVAN TORGEIOF russian novel righter i sometime think i am rudin loool
    i am lost in reallity and fantesy i dont like this life i think this life is just a mess and i always lived in my dream
    i spend 5 years all together in prison for political reason and i never complain about that time it was my choice
    now is ramadan and muslims are fasting i remember when i was 14 years old and i was in prison in islamic republic of iran and every night every night they hit me and my friends 30 lashes and they tought they are doing thier duty about thier god
    my family are muslim and they are cool they never did anything wrong about other people they are simple people who beleived to their faith and they are happy but when islam interfare with politic like any other religion or ideologies its horrible becouse they are thinking they are doing their duty to good
    i dont know i am confuse about my life i could take alot alot alot and now i can take any things
    what is this gamble problem?what this problem can make from people ? i am quite famouse in iranian inttlectual community but i dont want to be engage with iranian community because i feel shame
    and i know non of people who knew me in past they cant believe this person is me ? as i cant believe that
    i cant remember myself
    only thing that i know is i have to be cured again to be able to help others
    i dont want anything for me and my flatmate told me yesterday it is the problem
    dont take me seriose i am just righting somethoing nonesence from my past and my current situation
    its really confusing me as well but i have to right other whys i have to kill myself because i cant take anymore this shame this guilt
     hamed

    in reply to: Now is the time for wrighting #16827
    thegambler
    Participant

    thanx larry
    you are right i have to do nothing eccept accepting help
    and i accepted that i need help tanx UK .I am a reall refugee not someone who cames here to make money .I could make much more money in my *****ry than here.and UK gave me refuge its true that I was a victum of abusing Geneve Convantion ,its a convantion for refugees ,but any way Uk give me other chanse to be alife and now gave me another chanse to get free from my gamble problem by going to gordon house
    I think they can help me to sort it out  my debt problem as well and I want to be cured to be honest i am that much sick that i cant help myself even i cant go to my appointments I had lots of patiant which suffered from depration but I never knew that deppration could be this much worse
    I was living complitly alone in last few years .of course the most reason for my lonlyness was my gamble but when my gamble problem gets worse and worse i did not have family or friends support here to take me to my gp and my community health centre to help me and i lost all my appointments and i get nowhere
    i needed somebody to look after me i remember the time on 2008 which for weeks and weeks i stay in home just taking sedative tablets and sleeping all the week not a single day till i get my next benefit payment and gamble it again and loos it again and back to the same place again
    i needed help there was help availble but i just ignored that its right that compulcive gamblere can affect others life as well at least 15 others as gh website say and last night i ***** the people who get affected woth my gamble problem and i found more than 15 person
    i am really happy that i am going to gordon house i dont know what happening there but its my only way and i want to get that help which i nedd
    you are right i have to do nothing eccept giving myelef to gh and the specialist there i am broken
    but i beleive human been can cure from every thing and i know i can if i want
    I called my mother now and i promissed her as well to do my best for my life
    to make her happy
     beauty

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