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  • in reply to: Third addictive relationship… #4724
    ThreeTimer
    Participant

    And he goes on about how my nephew is a huge lier and does too many drugs and drinks crazy. Why would my nephew lie about my fiance gambling? How would that benefit him?

    in reply to: Third addictive relationship… #4723
    ThreeTimer
    Participant

    So about a week ago i decided to move back into the house….it wasnt making sense spending every evening with my son at his dads house then going to my sisters just for bed time. Plus my son wanted and prob needed to stay home. He lovessssss his dad so much.
    We have had good talks and understanding but im still hurt and confused. I need this break for the summer. Ive gained 5lbs in a month. Im feeling really down on my looks. Hating diabetes every second. We had an argument today about the wedding i canceled for this summer. He said if i decide to stay (which i pretty much already have) that he dont wanna get married for a few years now….in 3 years i will be 38……omg. old bride….but i guess its prob for the better….so crushed i found this gambling news out and now i have no wedding this summer. He even says i shoulda not listened to my family about his gambling. He doesnt even have an addiction and that i shoulda talked to him first so he could explain. Not just pack up and leave….he says i have a problem of not knowing what i want. Its simple but yet socomplicated. I just want to be happy.

    in reply to: Third addictive relationship… #4721
    ThreeTimer
    Participant

    Ya there is a control issue. Where are you? Wgat are you doing? You said you would only be an hour?
    He is going to doc tomorrow to get a referral for addictions councelor. He says he will go to gambler annon meetings.
    He is changing bills over to his name and says he will pay. He is promising to never ever lie or hurt me again or gamble. I want to believe him so bad and i want him to lay off on the control problem. He said when i get back from summer break ge will attend couples therapy with me.
    I really love him and i really want things to work out…but will they? I get worried when u say a cg will say or do anything to keep the addiction alive….how do i find out if he really is a cg? He said he only gambled because he couldnt make ends meet tonpay the bills ontime…sure as **** wouldnt be my plan if i were in that predicament.

    in reply to: Third addictive relationship… #4720
    ThreeTimer
    Participant

    Ya there is a control issue. Where are you? Wgat are you doing? You said you would only be an hour?
    He is going to doc tomorrow to get a referral for addictions councelor. He says he will go to gambler annon meetings.
    He is changing bills over to his name and says he will pay. He is promising to never ever lie or hurt me again or gamble. I want to believe him so bad and i want him to lay off on the control problem. He said when i get back from summer break ge will attend couples therapy with me.
    I really love him and i really want things to work out…but will they? I get worried when u say a cg will say or do anything to keep the addiction alive….how do i find out if he really is a cg? He said he only gambled because he couldnt make ends meet tonpay the bills ontime…sure as **** wouldnt be my plan if i were in that predicament.

    in reply to: Third addictive relationship… #4718
    ThreeTimer
    Participant

    I think that my own apartment will separate me from the stress of having to fork out money for his bills or anything. I wouldn’t worry where he is. We would be broke up if I had my own apartment and no chance to ever get back together. We would always have the mother to father relationship for our son though if you know what i mean. I wouldn’t keep his son away from him.
    He wants me to show him I care and to help him recover. I don’t think I can do this. It’s complete stress to have to help him. I want him to do it on his own and then show me how he has changed. Is this wrong of me? Am I asking too much?
    But ya I do plan on having a nice, stress free summer. I prob have to leave my phone and keep on fb though. Pretty sure he will be bothering me wondering what im doing and blah blah blah. I keep having to explain to him now – I NEED SPACE! He even asked me and our son to sleep over last night. Said he wouldn’t bother me at all. He sleeps on couch anyhow….the thing is, i don’t wanna stay there! I really want space. So im still at my sisters. He got mad that i wouldn’t stay. Said our son wants too, why cant u just stay. i wont bother you. you’re gonna be away for 2 months soon anyways….
    so annoying….i hate this difficult shit. i have t1 diabetes too and it is the most annoying decease in the world. ive thought about dissappearing from everyone before….(expect my son) but i care about family’s feelings and would NEVER do that to them.

    in reply to: Third addictive relationship… #4716
    ThreeTimer
    Participant

    He seems to be slowly admitting he has a problem. 2 times gambling since Edmonton has turned into admitting 4-5 times…
    He is so sad that me and our son are now living at my sisters. He has begged me soooooo much to give him one more chance, that he will do anything I want just to give him another chance including going to Gamblers Annon. meetings. He says he is going even though he doesn’t think he has a gambling problem. He is even going to pay our rent and all bills himself for the summer while our son and I are in another province visiting my family. I hope he can do it! I really do want to give him another chance. But that this point they are only words….I wish he could fix things over night! haha! I wish we were a happy family and that we were still getting married this summer….unfortunately that is NOT going to happen. Maybe never….trust is gone….sucks. He knows that if he doesn’t do good this summer when we are away that im getting my own apartment with our son. I part of me says I should do it anyway but I part of me still has hope. BUT! What is he does really good for only 3 months and then starts lying and gambling again???? He owes government like $6500 right now and has a payment plan for the next 14 months…do people leave people because of stuff like that? Hopefully I will learn some things when I go to the meeting for families of gamblers. This really sucks. What if I never feel i can marry him…i really did want to…I hate this…….my life is a fucking gamble!

    in reply to: Third addictive relationship… #4714
    ThreeTimer
    Participant

    Thanks. Well i went into the bar friday night and caught him gambling. He said only $20 and won $600. I told him it was over. We talked outside. I stood my ground to leave and showed no emotion. He smashed his phone and he took off in truck in a rage. Me and our son slept at my sisters this night. He messaged me on fb all night and all day saturday while we were at a parade begging me not to leave. Pleaing he will quit everything from coffee to beer to gambling. My newphew was working with him. My bf does drywall self employed. My nephew has disclosed to his parents and then they told me. My bf will only admit he gambled twice in edmonton since we lived here for 2 years. There is a history of gambling prior to edmomton. I prob mentioned in original post. I went home sat afternoon and he was on the basement stairs crying. There was a chair on its side and extension cord hanging that snapped broken- a suicide atempt scene…..i dont believe he was serious
    Its just a tactic to keep me in relationship. My brother in law and sister are mad at him for blaming mark on telling them lies about his gambling. He wont admit to me that he gambled more than twice in last 2 years claiming both times were only $20…..he balled and begged me like a desparate man for about 20 hours straight. He got me were he wants me. i had to admit i would stay so he would calm down.
    Then he figured out i just screwed around by saying that because i wouldnt have sex with him….then he started begging me to stay again. He said suicide again and kissed our son goodbye….omg. he got me again…we had sex…we went out for supper with our boy…we were putting this in the past and he is to never use cash again for anything. Just use debit so there is a paper trail of his money. He says my nephew is telling lies because he is covering up drug use and shit to his parents and that hes mad at my bf for firing him twice on sparate occassions….the big one is that my nephew is saying my bf put $500 into the boards on friday night 2 weeks ago and lost it all and was leaving casino shaking his head. He claims to have never set foot in a casino in his life…..he is even denying the fact that my bro-in-law said that his friend seen him and my nephew at casino somes months ago…
    ..why did it do that? Omg she will leave me! I even seen the withdrawls from his account 200, 300 with $1.25 withdraw fees to show a bar or conveniece store atm was used. He claims that cash was used for work materials. ****! I cant belive him and he cant find all receipts to prove for that date.
    What do i do?

    in reply to: Is there a rock bottom? #4670
    ThreeTimer
    Participant

    Im praying for u and me! I read your story thinking omg this is my future possibility!!! Im in process of leaving a cg common law partner and we have a 4 year old son…..i hope to god you fond some releif and feel better. I wouldnt wish this upon my worst enemy.

    in reply to: Third addictive relationship… #4711
    ThreeTimer
    Participant

    I keep getting waves of saddness over this and my escape plan. My spouse was so good tonight. Home early. Played with our boy….it was hard keeping my plan away from him. Im doing it because im hoping he will pay back my credit card. I need that before i take off. But whats with these waves of saddness then second thoughts about leaving….geez i told my boss today and even broke down in front of her…i was embarrassed….my leaving plan is in action. Utilities have cancellation notices. Vehicles are signed over to my name only. Work has been notified. Wedding party on my side has been notified. Cancelled venue. Etc etc. Its happening and im so sad and scared. Why does he have to have this addiction? Why did i fall for another addicted man….

    ThreeTimer
    Participant

    Currently in the planning stage of leaving my cg common law. we have 1 boy. he is 4. both love him to death! The wedding is off but my cg knows nothing yet. Im getting ducks in a row for bill and finances and landlord and vehicle before I pop the news. Planning is going to help me through this. I am sad and I love him dearly. but my name ThreeTimer comes from relationships with 3 of them. 3 gamblers!!!!
    I wish you all the best and am here for support and expect the same…..thanks

    in reply to: scared to take action #4704
    ThreeTimer
    Participant

    Omg, this is crazy….i had no idea so many people….so much confusion, hurt, greif…etc…
    I am glad to have read this thread. It’s helping me understand my situation better.
    I nearly left my common law 3 times. First time was when we were new relationship. I have him my debit card to go get me smokes at the store or something – he came back (on Valentines) I had a nice gift to give him and he didnt seam happy for it. He told me he just drained $200 from my bank account to gamble. To try and win money to help his family in Europe. He said it was just supposed to be $20 but he lost and kept trying to get my money back for me.
    I lost it as I had to leave my previous engagement due to going bankrupt from that guys gambling AND drinking problem. Time #2 – we had a newborn baby and I gave him money because I got a good disability tax credit from gov and I wanted him to have some to get ahead and pay his bills. Nope gambled it! Big fight. Blah blah, made up….
    Iv’e always had suspicions in between but he always had a good answer but if not, the second answer was good and believed by me. Now the third time after living in a new city for 1.5 years and no catching him, but I did have a few suspicions, which of course he covered up. I have found out from my nephew that works with him that he has been going to the casino for the last year….FRIG!!!!! We are supposed to be getting married this August! I have to leave with our now 4-year-old and take my losses to this relatioship too. I call myself ThreeTimer because once with a stealing, drug smoking, alcoholic, little gambler, then an alcoholic gambler. Now a smoking cigarettes, fat belly unhealthy gambler…..
    I have no choice but to leave. I hate it. I love him! We have a gorg boy together. He is going to beg me to stay when I break the news, he is going to threaten. omg!!!! Right now i am getting all my ducks in a row to plan the flea with our son. I will NOT deny access to my son of course. Daddy loves him dearly and dito. It’s so hard. I just want him to stop and be a good partner and dad to us. No additions. Just healthy lifestyle like me…..

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