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I can honestly say at this point that I hate winter. It has lingered far to long and been far too fierce this year. We need to get together soon, I miss you. Deb
Good for you on your new job. You will do great, you have good work ethics and I know this is something you wanted. Congratulations on your persistence, it paid off. Debbie
Hi Tara. I remember well the days of digging in my purse for change because the bank account was empty. I would imagine we all here have done that. Something that you said jumped out at me “So I have no time for gambling today”. Perhaps that is one of your answers – keep busy, fill up your time with things that will keep you busy. I used to call friends and tell them I was coming over right after work and to hold me accountable for that and to guilt me out if I tried to make excuses for not coming. Plan home movie nights or game nights with the kids and tell them about it ahead of time so you will feel guilty if you disappoint them. I don’t know where you live, I live in Canada, and we have a Tax Free Savings Account here that once you have put your money in it is a real pain in the butt to get it out, you have to go into the bank to transfer it and it takes 24 hours. Something like that will stop and make you think before you head to a gambling venue. Banning myself was the final thing I did that really worked for me, I could not risk entering the casino because I would have lost my job if I had been charged with trespassing. You have tons of support here, Tara, but ultimately it is your choice and only you that can make the decisions that will aid in your recovery. Stop thinking of the wasted hours, tears and regrets and move forward with life, don’t waste another minute of dwelling in the past. YOU CAN DO IT. Debbie
I so admire your upbeat attitude and never-give-up approach. I also have several addictions besides gambling – overeating and smoking, to name a few. I decided that it was better to tackle one at a time and the since the most harmful one was gambling I did that one first and gave it my all. I feel I am in a good place with that one now and my next thing to tackle is the smoking. Bill quit yesterday and since I don’t want to smoke in front of him I know it will help me to begin at least cutting back which I hope will eventually lead to a full quit. I hope you didn’t take offense to my post on Carole’s thread, it wasn’t meant to be offensive or an attack. You are right, it is up to us to choose which methods to use in our recovery, I simply wanted to point out that I hope everyone continues to give advice and suggestions, even if they are not the right ones for us individually. If current things aren’t working then sometimes it’s good to try something different. I fought all suggestions on banning myself but that was what everyone was suggesting for me and guess what? It was the right one for me and I’m so glad I finally gave in and did it. You are a very warm and caring person, Cat, and your posts helped me through some very dark times. Yes, I have rediscovered my love of dancing in the kitchen and have a radio and CD player on my counter just for that purpose. I plan to continue dancing till I drop, lol. Luv ya girl, hang in there, you are doing great. Deb
Carole, I hope you realize that I do care about you and your recovery a great deal. You were there for me and very supportive when I needed a friend, I will never forget that. Any suggestions or advice I give are given with love and concern for you in the hope that it will help. Thinking of you, Deb
Sorry, Cat, but I need to disagree with you. It DOES matter what others advise and suggest, isn’t that what we are really here for? I know that I may not have followed all the advice I have been given here but I am grateful for anyone’s suggestions because I needed the support I found here. If only one piece of advice or only one suggestion is helpful to someone and aids in their recovery then it is all worthwhile to keep and open mind and listen. Everything that people say here in compassion and caring matters. Debbie
(((((Liz))))))) I hope with all my heart that you will find happiness and peace in your new home as I have found in mine. Debbie
Try not to stress about the DUI, what will be will be. If you are meant to have this job then it will happen, regardless of your record. Congratulations, by the way. With regards to co-dependency, Melody Beattie has written some terrific books, many are available at the library. I learned a lot from them, check it out. Deb
A long time ago I was here on the unmoderated chat line and told the other person in there that I had no idea what to do with myself now that I wasn’t gambling. They asked me what I used to enjoy doing before I started gambling and I actually had to sit awhile and think in order to remember. Well, I used to like to crank my music up in the kitchen and try out a new recipe, so that’s exactly what I did and as I was doing it, it brought back a lot of fond memories and I found myself thoroughly enjoying it. Later that day I sat and thought of other things I used to enjoy. Gambling had taken up so much of my time and thoughts that I had pushed all those things out of my mind and my life. It was almost like I was being a child and saying – if I can’t gamble then I don’t want to do anything else. Give it a try Ican, just pick one thing that you used to enjoy, whether it’s watching a good movie, knitting, walking, cooking or soaking in the tub with a glass of wine. Congratulations on not gambling recently, way to go. Debbie
Tara, I’m so very proud of you. Walking away from an urge is a very hard thing to do in the beginning and YOU DID IT. If you are able to find my old thread “A New Life” please give it a read when you have the time. I was in a mentally and financially abusive relationship and even though it was apparent to others, I chose not to see it or accept it. Today is my birthday and one year ago today I was thrown out of my “home” since my common-law found a younger woman with more money. He constantly threw my gambling in my face and yet enabled me to gamble because it kept him in control and held me hostage to the relationship. What a difference the past year has made to my recovery and my self-worth. Hindsight is a sad thing, but I no longer look back, I only look ahead to the future and it’s bright. Adele is right, you cannot overpost here, keep those thoughts flowing. Congratulations on your return to school, you deserve good things. Be selfish, Tara, and think of yourself. Most CG’s are co-dependant and think of others first and put their own needs on hold. Bettie, on this forum, is a wonderful source of information on co-dependency and has helped me immensely in my recovery. Read her thread when you have time. Take care and keep up the good work, Debbie