As Steev mentioned above, it’s been a week full of many of us relapsing. So Sherrie, I am right there with you. My finances are also a trigger for me with the stress and anxiety they bring. But I made a decision last year to do something about that for myself.
I have always had a very negative relationship with money, never learned about it as a child, lost everything I owned (house included) at age 25. I watched my parents struggle all their lives, go bankrupt multiple times and when my father passed 5 years ago mum’s words of shame will always sit with me. « I’ll never heal from your father having zero estate when he died ». In fact, I discovered he had 80k worth of credit card debts at age 67 that I went through lawyers to get written off.
So money has always confused me, stressed me out big time and I even grew to hate it. I was ready to change how I felt about it last year. I signed up to complete a certificate course, night school, in Personal Financial Money Management. While it didn’t help me to earn more or get into an easier position quickly, it did completely change my attitude with money. I went in hating money, being told I was never allowed to discuss it with my partner (very wealthy) at the time. I came out confident, excited, willing to openly talk about money and begin to face it head on instead of hide from it.
When you say you won’t ever have a holiday or nice car, I know from experience that kind of self talk is limiting in what we can achieve there. My tutor asked me about holidays, and this was before I had any kind of win gambling. I told him I can’t ever afford holidays. I win them instead. While that second part was true (I’ve been extremely fortunate enough to win some amazing holidays) it’s not a game plan in life, and me planning to rely on luck was always going to ensure disappointment.
Make it through to pay day. Make it through after that to your next pay day. If you remain gamble free you will see each pay day begging to make a difference, even if it’s small. I now force a though into my head when I am tempted with thoughts ed gambling. I ask myself « can I afford to loose this $100? ». Of course than answer is no, and the stress at the thought of losing it and having to go without even more sometimes helps me pull away.
I’m back on day 3 of not gambling. The last relapse has caused me huge loss and anxiety in my life. But I’m looking forward to day 4 tomorrow. One day at a time, one pay day at a time.