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Hey Guys~
Home from my meeting. I was doing fine until my turn. I cried like a baby! I guess the reality of my friends retirement is starting to become a reality. She has 8 days to go. It doesn’t help that yet another customer quizzed me as who would be taking her place. I want to say they don’t want me. I want to say they don’t respect me. I want to say a lot of things but it dawned on me. I’m the reason I wasn’t offered the job. I don’t want to do it "their way". I told my boss that I would not be interested. And I know I said that to let him off the hook and appease my hurt feelings because I know he doesn’t want me as his assistance. My stradgy didn’t work. My feelings are still hurt. Just like all the times I assumed I would be made fun of so I got in the first dig. This is some sick behavior.
I was working my step work last night and came upon a worksheet question that asked me to list 14 reasons I should stay in the fellowship. Boy those answers came fast. The one that sticks in my head is the God has a plan for me. I haven’t been living a "happy" life, I’ve been doing it my way, and my way stinks! There has to be something else in store for me, there just has to be!
On my way home I was listening to "The Dixie Chicks". Mind you I have had this CD for years. The song "I believe in Love" came on. I think I really heard the words of that song for the first time, and they really hit home.
I Believe In Love lyrics
Songwriters: Stuart, Marty; Seidel, Martie; Maines, Natalie;

I made a promise to myself
Locked it way deep down inside
Told my heart we’d wait it out
Swore we never compromise

Oh, I’d rather be alone
Like I am tonight
And settle for the kind of love
That fades before the morning light

Silence stared me in the face
And I finally heard its voice
It seemed to softly say
That in love you have a choice

Today I got the answer
And there’s a world of truth behind it
Love is out there waiting somewhere
You just have to go and find it

I believe in love, I believe in love
Love that’s real, love that’s strong
Love that lives on and on
Yes, I believe in love

I believe in love, I believe in love
Love that’s real, love that’s strong
Love that lives on and on
Yes, I believe in love, yes, I believe in love
Now I just have to believe that I deserve to be loved, because if I don’t then who will?

 It’s one thing to know where you want to go-it’s another thing entirely to have the Wisdom to get there….Looking for the Wisdom