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#18309
desdemona
Participant

Hi Bettie, It has taken me almost 4 months to start realizing what gambling has really taken from me, the least of it being vast sums of money. I had the head knowledge yesterday but not the heart knowledge, which is completely different. I was angry yesterday that compulsive gambling has robbed me of the coping skills I used to have. I raised 2 children alone with no financial support from their father, took five years of post-secondary schooling while working parttime and raising these kids. I’m angry that I’ve become a procrastinator when I used to be an enthusiastic motivator of others in getting them on board for projects, events, etc. I have also realized yesterday that recovery is not something that can be played with, as gambling addiction is a dangerous place to be, when a person isn’t in recovery. I have played with it, having deliberate slips, thinking I’ll just start again the following day. In spite of the desperation to gamble yesterday and the emotional pain I experienced, I see that I have made a breakthrough in my recovery. I need to not forget what I learned yesterday. I learn a lot from your recovery journey Bettie. Thank you dear friend and huge congratulations of eight months of sanity for you. You’re awesome Bettie!! Carole