One thing I notice is the warping change of time when a craving hits … this morning I feel a little nervous/jittery inside a craving sensation and it feels like time slowing down into super slow motion … like this artificial perception of moving under water and not getting « relief » from it until the urgent/fast moving craving to place a « bet » comes in …
Right now I don’t have anything that’s a « bet » sitting in the markets … yet this slowed down craving feeling is trying to distort good, sound, boring, risk guarded moves into being « unsafe » or « uneasy » and draw me into the urge to hop in and out and throw money away, stare at price action, get emotional etc. as « comfort » or « back to normal » …
Well that normal is a terrible one I don’t wear any more. Fear and jealousy as expressed toward unhealthy extensions of chasing after the imaginings of someone else’s bigger bank account is a mirage in the desert … I believe those emotions belong in self protection. Fear of missing out on my own health and vibrancy, and jealous of my own life force that I protect of myself.
Once again, I write and share to address the craving to do the wrong thing or feel the wrong way about perceiving things, and once again, I believe it is sound for its reason. I do not have to act impulsively to undistort time, but simply reconnect to the timeless values I’ve been feeling deeper and deeper as this journey has begun.
Now, I direct myself to read through my daily quotes and connect to my own mind body and spirit deeper without fear.
<3