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Jwill, welcome. Gambling addiction takes on all forms and the fact that you are admitting that you have a serious problem of any form is great. Relapses happen intermittently and while you may feel discouraged and regret your actions it’s easy to get back up off the proverbial floor and start again. If you like new things them find some new things. The world is full of sources of knowledge and entertainment and the simple act of trying to find some will engage your mind and take some time. I think that you need to challenge yourself to stay away completely for a period of time that makes sense to you. We all need challenges and goals. Make this yours. It is easier to do this after a big loss like this. It is fuel. There must be something that you can interject into your day/weekend that would be more constructive and personally fulfilling than poker. Find something that will build your will, confidence and give you something to feel good about. All is not lost. Rise to the challenge and take back your personal power. It can be done, you just have to get your feet on the path.