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Hi All,
Vera, i am a control freak, but i like to say that i like to ‘be organised”  Thank you for your empathy, sometimes i feel i am going crazy and then i feel that i shouldnt be feeling that way. Thanks for the validation, sometimes, when im spewing my thoughts on the page i feel that i may be over-reacting but at the same time, the feelings are very real at the time of writing.
I am very concerned about Fester.  When Dames got home last night we had a big talk and i asked him everything i wanted to know.  He answered honestly, but there was one thing he said that made every hair on my body stand up on end.  He said that she jokingly said to him that once the results come back, and Sasha is playing up, she will be able to send her to him (or us).  He said he didnt say a word, he didnt know what to say to that.  My gut is telling me that we are going to have problems with Fester, and i believe women have terrific intuition.
She also said that Sasha is upset because Dames hasnt rung or contacted her.  Dames just said that we are waiting for the test to come back, and he will take it from there.  Is this Fester a lunatic?  Why on earth would he ring her before we even know if she is his.  If it turned out that she isnt (which i doubt) the poor child will be traumatised.  He should have never ever gone to meet her before we got the results. I told him at the time but he had said he was going….
Anyway, all that said, we talked about what we thought was going to happen, and how we are feeling now.  We are both scared stiff, so at least we are on the same page, i think we need to talk more, we had ignored it for a month but nows the time to keep talking so we know what is going through each others mind. 
I havent gambled now for 63 days, i am trying to keep positive, and this is certainly a positive part of my life.  I do need this to be over, im so tired of thinking about it, i dont know how long this is going to go on.
Anyway, i hope you all have a wonderful gamble free day,
Bye for now, Kathryn xxFighting the good fight…One day at a time