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Thank you Charles

That was nice of you to comment on my diary i know you are a moderator here and have been very kind when i have chatted to you in the groups.
I am at the bottom. Gambling has well and truly ruined my life.
I cannot explain in words how hard it is for me to stop.
I know i need help, i know i need to do more. Its just when i am in that mad crazy state i cannot stop. It doesnt matter what advise i am given or how i feel, i just cannot stop and will not help myself when i am like that because i truly at the time cant stop and think i am helping myself by going to win.
Its a joke. Im demolished as a person now. I am sick. I feel willing to try again. But i dont trust that thinking, i dont trust anything or anyone anymore. I feel empty and i feel useless.