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Sophia E

Hi Velvet, thank you for your reply. This is the first time I have written on here as I was a little nervous. I didn’t know how much info to put.

He constantly says he feels like his gambling addiction is suffocating him, that he feels worthless etc but then he goes back and does it all over again. Alrhough he says he wants to change I have seen very little improvement. It’s almost like he came clean and it got worse. I really have tried to help and have stuck by him but the more I do the more I feel he is taking advantage of my loyalty. 

He is in £90 thousand pounds worth of debt, he is constantly bailed out by his family with very little repercussion. When he recently won money gambling it was almost celebrated, I couldn’t stop crying and no one seemed to understand why! I have told his dad he should let him go bankrupt, stop enabling etc as his credit is immaculate (because he is always bailed out) which allows him more and more access to credit. I was honestly fighting a losing battle. He earns minimal wage, yet wears designer clothes, member at the best gym and golf clubs, drives a fancy car and he nor them can see that it isn’t right even thou his dad has no money either. They never understood why that bothered me so much, I would be working all the hours available and never treated myself because I wanted to save for OUR house. I definitely began to resent him.

He has had this problem for 5 years, he can go years, months with nothing. When he is low in mood or lacking confidence he seems to gamble again knowing full well it makes him depressed. He is going counselling again as he thinks it helps but he hasn’t done anything else. He says if I wasn’t in his life he would have no reason to stop gambling so I feel bad for leaving but against him and his family I will never win.

He claimed to love me. Wanted this break to fix himself so we can be happy and he’s done nothing. I feel hurt and taken advantage of, I have stuck by him I really have and he’s let me go without a fight after telling me only days before that he loves me more than anything, it’s so so hurtful. I want to help but really don’t know how. I have wasted so much of my time already and everytime we argue it it turns on my like its all my fault and I’m just argumentative. I really am torn, I have read some stories on here and it makes him not look too bad but this isn’t the person I fell in love with. He was able to control it at one stage and now it’s the worst it’s ever been. It’s so hard to write about every time he has gambled because it seems like it only happens when we are separated (or so he says). Gambaling is a horrible disease, he has so many lovely qualities and could live a happy life but it’s all over shadowed by his selfishness. x