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Thank you for your words, it really is the truth.
The longest I’ve gone in the past year was around 100 days. I usually relapse around the 60 day mark, but I haven’t had an experience like I did the last time. Basically I always had more money available to my name after I relapsed.. I never completely ran out of every available fund. I’ve never had an experience like I did on my last relapse, which makes it different for me this time… I always forgot the pain that gambling brought me once my brain thought I could “gamble for responsibly after some time off” this year has been one from hell. My debts will take me roughly a year to pay off I assume, but that’s nothing to me compared to the years I have ahead of me, I will be 30 in December. I always say I’m glad to have experienced this fairly young and while I didn’t have access to hundreds of thousands. What is a mistake without the lesson right ? I’m very determined this time to live gamble free. Failure is a part of growth. I hope you are well, I always appreciate your support through my journey, it means a lot to have good people in my corner that have gone through the same emotions. God bless you, let’s make 2020 great.
One day at a time.