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Hi Kurt,
My journal starts out very similar to yours. I believe there is hope.
I think you are right to seek some help. Staying quiet and trying to handle this gambling problem by yourself is probably not going to change much of anything. I recommend reading the posts here and putting some orr all of the advice in to practice. I don’t know what your area of gambling is, but I know that when it gets to the point of pain, we have to change something. There is chat line that I believe a live counselor can speak to you.
Please keep posting. There is help to be found here!