Hi Lily,
It was a bit stressful but I have to remember that I can control how stressed I get so I focussed on work instead and left my life not being dictated by gambling.
I was so thankful for the support and preparation from you and velvet, i’d did help me to think more rationally even when I started to let my thoughts getting out of control.
My codependency, although enhanced by dating a CG, was prevalent in previous relationships outside of addiction,now that I have gone back and looked into it all. And I looked back at my post when I first came to GT and just looking for help for CG without any realisation that it was also ME that needed help. If nothing else, I will be forever grateful for that. I also now 100% acknowledge that I cant help CG, no matter how much i would love to fix it all. I can work on my issues and my myself better.
Perhaps you are right.The weekend would definitely have been different. More enjoyable, i’m not sure. And I have to acknowledge that CG really did make an effort. Moving seeing his little boy I know is always hard on him and increases his stress and he did a 6 hour round trip for me. No, it wasnt perfect. But was he trying? Totally.
Yes the move isnt something taken lightly and it is the best thing for me. Where I am now, I am stalling. CG is stalling on more commitment and i dont want to stay stagnant. There are many many options and I dont know what will happen and its not something im trying to predict or control.
I just keep trying to work on me and hope that CG wants to work on me. Stresses of my holiday and 2 weeks away are keeping in, especially as its overlaps with CG’s next focus…Aintree!!
Hope things are well with you and your family. Logic x