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So my day one starts today. I am so sick of feeling like this. Even when I win I end up losing in the long run. This is not a productive way to live. I feel like sleeping all day but I’m going to force myself to get up and be productive without gambling. I understand the feelings are always going to be stronger in the beginning. My goal is to make not gambling a habit. I want to look at gambling and it makes me sick. I want to look at gambling and internalize that it is evil for me. I cannot control myself when it comes to gambling as much as i think I can. I can’t. I have no impulse control over it. My triggers are clear. It was the perfect storm yesterday. No girlfriend, off work, extra money, nothing to do.
Fuck this. I’ll beat it. This is not taking me down. I’m going to beat this addiction. No more bets or anything. No lotto, no casino, no horses and no fantasy football. Nothing. I’m done