Hi All,
So, as you all know im off on the weekend to Sydney. I have 2 concerns…1- that i am going to gamble, i have no barriers in Sydney and 2- that Damian and I are going to run out of conversation….i know that sounds strange coming from me, as you all know, i never shut up..lol.
We are going to do the DNA test tonight, ill send it off tomorrow. We havent spoken about it at all in the last week, its like if we do, all the good that is happening between us will be gone. I really dont want to do it but at the same time, we need to know, i need to know. I think we dont want to break the bond we have created in the last few weeks, but there is a little thing called reality that i need to face.
Ive been reading that a few people have slipped this past weekend. While i find it upsetting for them, i must say it just strengthens my resolve not to gamble. Im glad they posted, it brings back the memory of gambling, losing and leaving with nothing. Im on my 46th day today.
Tim said something to me last night about gambling urges…..when we have urges, we are in active recovery. It is when we deny or ignore them, that we are not working on our recovery. I have been thinking about that a lot. I guess, having the urge to gamble and making the decision not to, means we are facing the demon head on.
Well, i hope you all have a wonderful, gamble free day,
Bye for now, Kathryn xxFighting the good fight…One day at a time
