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Hi, I have been at this thing for awhile now, trying to give up gambling after approx 11 yrs.
Well, 28 days ago, after losing a decent amount of money I had just received, I decided it was time. I told myself, no more slots, internet cafes, lottery, online, I even delete the free games off my phone. It’s so hard to believe I have sent 27 days without any gambling. Do t get me wrong, I still think about it at least once a day, but I have not acted on it.
Just decided to check-in after coming to the site reading a few journals. -
Hi Cruising247,
Welcome to the forum and well done on reaching 28 days with no gambling. What have you found helpful with staying gamble-free over the first 28 days?
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Great achievement! I love the acknowledgment that God is walking beside you… all of us… I’m certain he is tired of the casinos too!!
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Happy birthday to you! What a great gift to give yourself! Freedom!
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How do you stop yourself when the thought about gambling steps in. I haven’t found a way yet and have failed so many times.
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good on you mate, im happy for you. thats a huge achievement. I fell back again and am back to day 1. you need to keep pushing through, it sucks starting over and over time and time again. i havent made it past a week in a long time. may I ask what the serenity prayer is? i have tried to say prayers myself but never know what to say but i do feel like i need the help from that higher power. ive said to myself that i will no longer fail for the rest of this year so im now looking forward to this journey. one day at a time
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Thank u both for your replies. Im on day 3 now. Thanks for the prayer cruising
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Yea u should be super proud of yourself cruising.
If you gambled, you would be starting your day count all over again after coming so far. You would lose money, be angry at yourself and then be back here posting about how you had to start over. Theres so much temptation but its never worth it. You have done so well and would hate yourself for having to start over. The worst part would be if you happened to win something, because then you 100% would return again and again after that. Thats what ive realized is winning just sucks us back in there for a longer period of time and then we end up giving it all back plus more. Us gambling addicts can never quit after winning, its just not possible to leave and never return after a win. I only ever quit properly once i lose everything.
Pat yourself on the back and keep pushing forward one day at a time
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Nice Cruising247! Congrats on keeping the streak alive. I am on Day 40 myself and yes, free days and free time are dangerous, just keep yourself occupied with other things all day 🙂
Noisy children are a blessing compared to the gambling hell we are all too familiar with! One day at a time. Cheers!
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Excellent! Merry Christmas 😄
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Hi Cruising247,
Well done on Day 48. It is great to hear you are looking forward to a nice Christmas with your family gamble-free.
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Glad to hear the daily progress mate! Merry xmas and congratulations on getting over 50 days!!
I myself just completed day 7. My first time getting through a whole week in a loooong time. Only a tiny achievement but something in proud of.
Keep it going buddy
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Hello Cruising247,
Its delight to read your check-in updates. And, Feel good that someone like me is doing tremendously well to achieve the feat we all are looking for.
I am back on Day 2, but I am on track too. Any suggestion about managing the debts, how you have done that.
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I’m on my 4th day clean. I was clean for over 5 years I’m GA. It can be done. One phone call from a so called friends ruined that. I have been in a downward financial spiral for over 5 years now. I can identify that this is the point where I am done with gambling. I have a strong desire to stop✋. I started my own business and it is thriving even though I was blowing the money gambling. So the money part isn’t the issue but it can certainly escalate to bankruptcy quickly. I know I have to stop in order to be successful. So far so good I will post daily.
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Clean date is Christmas. It’s only been almost 5 days. But it feels great. As long as my mind is focused on recovery and posting on here I’ll be good. Some meetings via zoom would be a must
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Hello Cruising247,
Its feel great that, you are 2 months gamble free today.
I am still trying to cope up with my situation, sometime I feels anxious, soon after few minutes I was followed by Panic Attacks. And, on few occasions I used to go washroom and cry. But now I assume all this will make me strong and bring the good soul out my inner strength. And, soon I will also post the same 1 year Gamble Free and so on 🙂
Wish you the best in your journey.
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I love that!! 12 days clean let’s go!! It works if you work it.
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Thank you. This has been a great message board for me. I just met a friend from India. We talked on the phone through whatsup. Great guy. I found him a zoom meeting. If you ever want to chat we can talk. I’m in the U.S. so if over seas let’s do what’s up if not I’ll send you my number
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Hello Cruising247 & Daniel,
Hope you both doing great and going through the different stages in the recovery. Wish you best for that.
After Reading your post, I want to write about my situation/feelings too, here.
My emotions and inner strength have reached the saturation level, that I can’t continue myself with any process or recovery. In recovery journey of around 10 days, I already relapsed twice. I am broken, and hit the bottom already. I don’t know tomorrow I will have money to arrange food for my family or myself. I am back again on the stage where I will not have any financial loss anymore; because I don’t have any funds or source of fund which will be with me or in my reach.
I am near to a stage where I will loose myself mentally or physically; but as soon as my mind opts to finish myself physically “I get picture of people who loves me, who helps me during my life, the new family here and others”; and tell myself “NO” and update myself that there is lot of things and happiness I have to see/enjoy in my life.
There will be lot of pain which I will suffer, and my dear ones will suffer too because of my illness. But I have to stay strong and keep going whether it take months / years or decades.
Will keep going “One Day at a Time” and, slowly but gradually will break the Debt mountain too which is standing over my head.
There are no shortcuts to success or recovery, so now have to suffer/enjoy all stages till I get back to my normalcy.
Almighty help me with courage to keep standing.
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Just doing my daily posting. 15 days clean. I START MY DAY WITH THESE WORDS ” NOT TODAY”
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Thank you! 16 days in the clear!. This message board works wonders. Not sure if you are in U.S. but chatting on the phone only helps as well. Me and ujju197 chat on the phone as well. It’s keeps us grounded. Not today! Mabey tommorrow Mabey next year but not today 1 day at a time
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Hi everyone. Today is day 1 for me…again. As you say one day at a time.
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Just checking in 18 days clean. This message board works wonders. It works if you work it.
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20 days clean. Just checking in.
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22 days clean!
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25 day clean. Paid my quarterly taxes. I can see the new business thriving. Only way to be successful is to not gamble.
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Hello Cruising247,
In last we all are humans and used to mistakes. And, especially we compulsive gambler used to get in this trap again and again.
But stay strong, and stay away from the first killing bet.
We all are with you. We need you here (You are inspiration to many)
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Cruising247 the only bad thing you did was place the bet. You went right back on here and posted about it. You minimized the damage! Let’s get it done. One day at a time. Not today mabey tommorrow next week next year but not today
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Hello Cruising247,
I have learned one thing from the GA/GT community, that during recovery we have to learn to stay away from Gambling/First Bet. This Addiction never ends, so we just have to stop and keep it tightly bound with the iron chains. The beast will always be near us, long life; but choice is ours i.e. We have to select the Truth or Beast(Illusion).
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Going on to my 30th day this is great news! One day at a time let’s always check in here daily. What I have learned. I have took my compulsive addictive behavior and channeled that passion for gambling into my new business. I’m thriving with it. I know if I go back to gambling the business will crumble and I will lose my family. So far so good. I’m 😊 happy again. Let’s keep it going on these message boards!
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Hi Cruising,
Put as many barriers in place as possible. I tell my parents immediately when I have urges and they are able to calm me down and point me in the right direction. See if you can talk to someone. Don’t try ‘testing’ if you can control this addiction. We addicts can never do this gambling again. We have a problem and the only solution is to just not do it. And stay as far away as possible.
You can beat this. I am rooting for you.
One day at a time!
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Hey all, I’m almost at lost of all hope. Not sure how to stop gambling, I am having the urge 24/7 even when I work or when I’m at school. I have no friends to talk to and I’m scared to talk to family because it will destroy years of trust.
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On to my 32nd day. 1 day at a time
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10 minutes gamble free, sad compared to others who have commented here, but I need to celebrate minute by minute right now, hopefully soon I will be counting hours and then days…I’ve been hooked on online gambling for almost 11 years. It has made me someone I don’t even recognize anymore but reading everyone’s posts is making me hopeful that I’m not alone, others do it, so can I. I got a really nice raise this year, which was my saving grace from squandering away all my money. Help me God to not continue this brand new year the same way I have the last 10 years. I just want to me free again, to be “me” again…
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Checking in. 33 days clean and I am at peace with myself. I finally have a rock solid foundation for success in this lifetime of recovery. I seen huge success with my business. Something that would of failed if I continued to be in action. God is good! .
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Just checking in all is well!
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36 days clean! It’s been great and I feel great. One day at a time.
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42 days clean. Sorry I haven’t been posting. Got real busy with work stuff. Life is great now.
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Hello @danieldrake1 @crusing247
Hope you both are doing good and keeping strong hold in this recovery journey.
I also completed 31 Days Clean, but the feeling of guilt is increasing day by day. Once, I have stopped playing and no more burning hard earned money in the casinos “I have feeling that what I have lost”. I lost ample of time which I can spend with my family and loved ones. And, last but not least the anxiety which take negative toll on my physical and mental health. Day and night just thinking of the same, whenever I feel relaxed someone comes in and pour hot oil on the burning fire.
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46 days clean just checking in
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Hello Daniel,
Congrats on completing 45+ days Clean. This means you have crossed the first mini milestone.
@Cruising247
Don’t let your guard down there will be lot of hiccups in this journey, but we have to stay strong in any way we can. I used to go through the same pain, but somehow I am able to control it.Just want to share what I used to do when I am sad or feel urge to play; I used to write anything on this forum or notepad. Used to draw my imagination on the piece of paper. Like yesterday I was drowning in the water and when I am trying to come out; Gambling Demon is going to push back me in the water.
This time, except my GA family no one knows the harsh reality of mine. So, I just share my sorrow/remorse here.
Wish, we all can come up Strong and beat this demon day by day.
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Hi Cruising
Keep posting and please keep visiting F&F whenever you want to do so, you are welcome.
You did nothing to deserve the burden you are carrying; you didn’t ask for it, you didn’t want it; there is nothing to be ashamed about in owning it and nobody should blame you, including yourself.
Keep visualising the outcome that ‘you’ want. Nothing else and nobody else matters as much as ‘you’.
True, lasting recoveries do start; I know; I’ve seen them and heard them and they are wonderful. I know you can do it. I have been watching your progress and I am willing you on.
Velvet
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You are not so different and part of the reason that you choose gambling is because it is a solitary activity. Normal gambling is/ can be a social activity but our kind is solitary. I cant say that I have really ever spoken to anyone when I was at a casino because I am so wrapped up in the process and the high that people are just annoyances and I actually get depressed watching them. I am sorry that your husband is not a support system but I can understand how he feels too since I have been on both sides of the spectrum. My nephew is /was an opioid addict. When we first found out we all said the same thing – he has to quit. His girlfriend ended up dying and we still just insisted that he had to quit. We had no idea of the depth of his addiction or the struggle to get clean. We just thought that he had to try harder to quit and that was that. It was like that when the realization of what he was hit us, it was his cue to quit and that was that. People can be a source of support but they can also be a reminder that we are not who we want to be. People can be the source of trauma if you were not treated well as a child, or alienation if you’ve been hurt. It’s not necessary to want to be around others but is necessary to be in their company from time to.time. I work with others 7 days a week and am quite social while there, but dont ask me to go out or visit once i am done. I barely answer my front door if someone knocks. Its who you are and feel fine with that. Gambling does enough to our self love so give yourself some room to heal from this and see where you are when you feel that you have more control. You might feel fine with the way things are and that’s ok.
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56 days clean. Just keep posting in here. It works better than anything I have done in the past besides GA meetings. It works if you work it!
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So funny, its sounds like I just wrote every word that you wrote about myself. I still get this weird feeling in my stomach when I think about going to a casino. I picture the foyer of my local like it was Disney land. The problem with people like us who seem to need the artificial stimuli of the slots and games is that it is really hard to replace with anything else. After a hard day at work my mind longs to have the “fun” of sitting back with my favorite games on my phone and playing “just a little”. I convince myself that it will only be for a while but it never turns out the way I planned. It’s like drugs, once you get the buzz you want to keep it going. I feel anxious when I know that I am going to have to stop playing and it almost feels like pain to my mind. It’s a hard thing to kick for sure but all addictions have their physical components to overcome. All you can do is make yourself accountable for what you do and deal qith the discomfort in the most reasonable way you can. Hope your day goes well.
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Hi cruising247 I just read your posts I can relate with the not liking being around people. I do have alot of friends and recovery based relationships but I had to work hard at them because I like to self isolate alot. When I first got into addiction recovery in my early 20s I was so hesitant to let people in. I’ve never trusted anyone however I met these girls and a women that became my sponsor and they became family to me. The reason I’m still sober from drugs and alcohol is because of these people. I had to really learn to let people in and support me so I could stop finding solace in an addiction. When I starting gambling 2 years ago is when I was struggling hard I stopped calling people but also we were forced to isolate because of covid so my support network just went out the window. I didn’t try that hard either. I pushed everyone away because I was caught in the shame cycle of gambling. I always say when I stopped talking to others is when this addiction got worse. I needed the connection from others even if I didn’t want it. I think the reason I’m staying away from gambling now is because ive pushed myself back into seeing my friends all the time now and having a counselor, and recovery people in my life again. I tried to rely on my partner to much but he wasn’t capable of giving me what I needed support wise. We now aren’t together. The hard reality is really waking up and seeing that we need connection to others in some way shape or form to stay clean. This forum is good for talking to others and getting our thoughts out to but for me i need more than this to stay away from gambling. I no that if your anything like me alot of the reclusiveness comes from going through stuff alone as a kid maybe or at times in your life and it becomes a survival technique to stay in the shell so others can’t hurt you. My solace when I was young was hiding in my dogs house outside with her. To this day I have a dog and hes the only thing that can calm me. Us humans are scarey were unpredictable and it’s hard interacting with others when we’re super fragile ourselves. One thing that we as addicts have to remember is that there is other people that are on the reciprocating end of us to. Sometimes we put on rose colored glasses and just see what’s coming at us but we have to sometimes put ourselves in others shoes to see what were dishing out or acting like towards them as well. I feel your pain alot I no what your going through I’m in the same boat these days to with wondering how could i let this happen to myself but we made a mistake and we got to forgive ourselves. Wishing you all the best today
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Totally understand and the trick to getting through it truly is taking things one day at a time.
Everyday is a chance to get better and to be a better person. Always try to better yourself and surround yourself around positive people that bring tye best out of you.
Go for walks, play sports, reading books or anything that occupies your time is the best way to beat this nasty habit.
The temptation will always be there but if we are able to take the right steps there should be no reason why you cannot recover.
Good luck to all and wishing you all the best for the new year.
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Almost went 60 days. Relapsed. My clean date will start 03/01/2022. Was testing and tempting myself. Learned from this. Let’s go back to clean street.
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I hit big and lost half of winnings. I am still down overall in life. I am starting my clean date today 03/11/2022
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I can relate. I was doing well yesterday then sat down for a bit to relax. Nothing on t.v. so I picked up the computer and it was shit from there. I should know the signs but I still get sucked in. I have gamban on my computer but actually found sites that fall under their radar and was playing on that one. I actually had an email come through from the gt app while I was playing and I ignored it. I didn’t even want to get up this morning because I was so disgusted with myself I slept until 7. For me that’s like others sleeping until noon. I need to find another focus for my down time that is doable at this point and wont leave me exhausted. I have tried cleaning my house but because I work 2 jobs, I need rest time too. I hope that we can both start today as a day one again and post daily to encourage each other. I hope today finds you stronger and renewed in your attempts to stay gamble free
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How are you doing crusing? No recent posts. Hope you are well
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Hi Cruising
I’m hoping that today is a good day for you and I’m hoping you post again soon.
Don’t seek to remove the last 10 years of your life but use the bitter experience as a reference to make the next 10 years better. Learning to control a gambling addiction can give you strength to do so much more than you have ever done before, it can help you understand so much more, you can be the person you want to be.
Your husband’s smug comments at a GA meeting say more about him than they say about you. You are trying to be a better person but he is unable to empathise with you – that to me shows courage on your part and ignorance on his. He sounds like he still has a lot to learn; maybe you could be the one to teach him empathy as your gamble-free life grows!
The world would be a dull place if we were all the same. I don’t think you should have to explain why you prefer to be solitary, anymore than I should have to explain why being truly alone would frighten me. I don’t think you sound crazy, you sound like a lovely person.
Understanding each other takes time but you are doing a great job learning to understand what makes ‘you’ tick. Controlling your addiction will help you to like yourself so be selfish and go for it.
I do care, I want you to succeed and what’s more, I know you can.
As Ever
Velvet
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