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My heart is shattered. Had a great day with talks about everything and nothing. I opened up some more about my gambling problem and he seemed to understand and told me he was proud that im finally admitting it and seeking out for help. At dinner we talked some more and all was fine, got back home and i suddenly felt nauseous. Thought that maybe id eaten something bad, 1 minute later i had the worst panic attack ever which lasted for what seemed an eternity, tried to stop it cause i did not want to scare him. Couldnt breath, couldnt speak and all the while he just sat there in shock. I felt so bad for him that he had to see that. Afterwards he was not able to talk about it but i tried and then eventually he said he needed time to process it. Feeling like a total failure.