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    • #30576
      gov3
      参加者

      Not sure why but I can’t seem to update my old post.
      I just wanted to say I am still gamble free not sure how long it’s been as I stopped counting days.

      I am leading such a happy life at the moment , I don’t have money as I been paying debts left right centre but the little. I have I been spending great time with my son .
      I have another surgery coming up very soon and one after that I been concentrating to get my health on track along with my mind.
      I have a simple life now but I have my happiness , I learnt to live within my means and I don’t desire expensive possessions nor do I desire having lots of money .
      Money is good to have however if you let money control you that’s when it becomes a problem , also the fact that society had been drumming in to us to have the latest gadget , bag , clothes .

      I don’t want to live my life slave to materialistic possessions been there done that .
      I believe memories are the Treasure we need to grab on to .
      I woke up to the reality of life as I been looking at the bigger picture .

    • #30577
      jennaraye88
      参加者

      It’s still very early days for me but so many people on here comment about how much they value the non-materialistic things in life once the gambling is stopped. Time with family, catching up with friends, gardening, cooking. It’s all so humble and yet inspiring.

      You’re right, society has made us all think that wealth and success can be measured by holidays, houses, cars, possessions. But no matter how cliché, the best things in life really are free.

      Well done on your recovery, keep strong and keep posting x

    • #30578
      gov3
      参加者

      Thank you for taking time to reply to me . Firstly I congratulate you for making the decision to quit .
      This forum is great and everyone had been through the same.
      Yes society perception infused us also the dire to compete with others or feel very important just because you have expensive stuff .

      I live in a very pretentious area full of wannabe rich people and they walk around with Chanel bags and just because they wear Chanel bag they feel important .

      I realised that I been trying to keep up with these kind of people.

      Now everything is simple for me at the end of the day what’s the point of having 30 pairs of shoes you can only wear one at a time can’t wear them all can you .
      Also what’s the point of having so many hand bags .
      I know I might sound shallow but these where the things pulling me in to the life of gambling as I always wanted more and was trying to compete with others .
      I have allot debt and these are mostly gambling debts I been doing really well by paying them off quicker thang I thought but when I look at it that money could of gone to something useful rather than a selfish habbit .
      I been listening to allot of Allan watts his def inspired me

    • #30579
      gov3
      参加者

      Right last night I was up till 2am and this Time it wasn’t to gamble but it was to change my life for good .
      I been thinking lately and looking at my life and trying to find out what has Made me the decision to go in to gambling route and I came to conclusion that it’s my job . I am not happy with my job and since I became ill they bullied me left right centre and made my illness at it’s worst stage .
      Therefore last night till 2 am I was looking for a new job and I realised that there is so many jobs I can do with my level of experience. The problem is what’s keeping me back is my two surgeries that I am waiting to have .
      I was very young when I took up my current job and become so comfortable with it and it feels like if I leave now i will never find same job that pays well . But something tells me that tmr I need to do a cv and apply to this new job I found so should I listen to my heart or should I just walk away not sure what to do.
      But what I do know is my current job is killing me slowly in every way and I am seriously not happy and I need to do something about it .

    • #30580
      vera
      参加者

      Hi Gov!
      No job is worth it if causes you to gamble or to be unhappy.
      Even for half the salary, it would be better to change.
      Would it be best to get your health in order before you start a new job? In that way you will be less worried about looking for sick leave when you are still new.
      Why not take out Payment Protection on your salary. Can you do that through your Union? It would be one worry less when you are waiting for your surgery.

    • #30581
      gov3
      参加者

      Yes you are right I need to sort out my health before applying or beginning a new job .

    • #30582
      gov3
      参加者

      I been going over my finances and realised that I need to tighten my belt even more till October to pay of a credit card asap . I am paying around £1000 a month to this card . It really hurts me I could of done so much with that money but I need to pay of these gambling debts I have accumulated for the last year and when I look back I could of avoided these so easily had I given my finances to my other half to control .

      After October I will than have to tackle another card and than another and another it’s like never ending cycle
      I got 3 cards to pay in total and it is taking ages .

      I cut down all my outgoings right down in order to pay of these nasty debts .

      Everytime I make payment I been reducing my credit limit but these silly cards make it so hard in order to reduce it .

      Am I ever going to be debt free I say to my self , am I ever going to enjoy my earnings without having to hand it over to a creditcard company I say to my self . I can’t see the light end of this tunnel .

    • #30583
      vera
      参加者

      Why not take out a Credit Union Loan and clear all the Credit Cards, Gov?
      The interest would be lower and you will see it coming down in your book every week. You don’t have to wait for statements to arrive in the post .

    • #30584
      gov3
      参加者

      Thank you for your comment , for some reason I cannot get any loan or credit what so ever . I never missed anything in my life always paid everything on time but for some reason I can blocked form getting anything right now.

    • #30585
      Dunc
      キーマスター

      Hi Gov

      £1000 a month to one card is a huge payment, whilst the question isn’t can you afford it, the question would be will you sooner or later potentially resent recovery as you see no light at the end of the tunnel due to having to make so many drastic cutbacks

      Have you considered something like a debt management plan, a plan that allows these cards to be paid but at a lower monthly payment and possibly over a longer period of time allowing you to have a few more pounds to have a few treats but knowing that your being totally responsible for your debt still.

      There are numerous companies out there. the most common one has rebranded from CCCS to Step changee

      H

    • #30586
      gov3
      参加者

      I gambled tonight and lost £400 to which I could of used for a better reason. I feel absolutely dreadful.
      I blame my credit card provider as I tried to block this card so many times and they denied it so many times I just hate this feeling

    • #30587
      Liberty
      参加者

      Sorry to hear that you gambled last night, I know the feeling too well after years of it.
      It’s really important that you see it for what it is a moment that you succumbed to this gambling addiction, this does not take away all the work and effort that you have put in so far, you still have all the gamble free time that has not gone away, so you know the difference in how you feel living recovery and now the terrible way you feel right now. All is not lost, what could you have done different to prevent last night? What was the feelings you had before you gambled?
      Cut up the card, do what ever it takes to help you recover from this slip as once enlivened this monster knows no bounds and now its been fed you must get the blocks higher to protect you from it, you have learned from this Gov, in time my biggest trigger was complacency, believing that I could ‘contol’ it well that will never happen because I am a compulsive gambler and once the reels start spinning there is no stopping, sending you hugs Gov, you can do it as you have been these past months, its not easy but see it for what it is, a blip on your pathway in recovery you have not failed, you will be back in recovery yesterday is dead and gone and so is the money, just accept that and don’t be hard on yourself Gov, you are dealing with a terrible addiction and dealing with it well. x

    • #30588
      gov3
      参加者

      Thank you for your lovely post .
      I really don’t know what happened and what I was thinking but devil took over me , I just don’t know how to stop , I can’t be trusted with any cards what’s so ever I know this now . Yesterday taught me that I will never beat this addiction I just have to eliminate everything in my life to stop me gambling .
      This was the last card I had and recently paid a £1000 and no matter how much I told them to block the card cancel the card they didn’t so I am planning to call and tell them to block it firmly or change the card number as I know all the detail by memory .
      I will need to make up that £400 in some way this is a horrible feeling .
      Eve
      I was doing so well I was very confident that I will not gamble maybe I was being big headed , I am a big headed idiot .

    • #30589
      Liberty
      参加者

      ok, firstly we must accept that the 400 or whatever the amount is has gone, we will never get it back by gambling what we will do is turn that 400 loss into a thousand loss and so on, we then feel we need to work even harder on it as we have so much more to chase to get back, fast forward sitting there, why did I not stop at 400 I could have coped with that, now it’s 4000! that’s the reality of our addiction our inability to accept its got us beat. When I finally admitted to myself that I can never ever beat it, it’s an illusion cos any win ultimately becomes a loss, and we know we don’t mean just the loss of the money!
      You are not a big headed person at all Gov, you have fallen into the trap of complacency which I have done many times with stops of six months and so on, but that’s ok you now know that so you are in a better position to do something about it.
      I think if you look back to your earlier posts, I can’t see it now but I remember one a few days ago about you being annoyed due to the huge payments you were having to make to your debts on the cards, this was the gambling addiction getting back in, trying to I think, lying to you again that you can win to pay off.
      I can never say I will never gamble again as I have said that so many times in the past and then gambled and gambled my head in! never again is out of our comprehension once the pain wears off, so today, today I will not gamble forget about eternity, just today it works Gov.
      x

    • #30590
      gov3
      参加者

      Yes due to stretching my self out paying high amounts to my credit card got me to this state I think I need to reduce the amount and enjoy my self a little .
      It just annoying it’s been good 3 months since I been gamble free , I need to take one day at a time .
      Today I will be gamble free . That’s what I need to say to my self every day.
      I can’t do debt management plan as I got properties to which I rely on the rent if I do that the banks will take ccj against me to force me to sell my flat to which I need to pay off bils as due to my health condition I am off sick and in two month I will get no pay at all and I cannot claim anything off the government with regards to benefits so it is scary times for me and I need to reduce this debt so that I don’t struggle when no pay happens .
      I been booked in for my first surgery so very anxious and scared on top of it all I got court case running and could possibly loose my job so it’s all going crazy .
      I just feel I want to curl up in a corner and just cry sometimes , I need that light and last night that light has gone

    • #30591
      Liberty
      参加者

      you do have a lot going on right now no wonder you are feeling anxious, if you are anything like me the gambling is used to escape from the anxiety trouble is it magnifies it. I am not sure about the property and debt management I do think it would be worthwhile doing the free assessment tool on step change website, putting in all your situation and all your debts, you don’t need put your name in or anything and it will advise you as to your best course of action.
      It’s ok to cry let it out Gov, you have hurt yourself with the gambling, you are a good person and do not deserve to suffer, just try to deal with one problem at a time when we feel we have so many issues to deal with it all gets too much creating ideal addition gambling situation. Do something good for you today, you deserve it.
      Today is a new light, you are here because you want to live in the light and can do that, have been doing that and will again now.

    • #30592
      vera
      参加者

      This all sounds overwhelming, Gov but if you break it down it might help.
      First you lost £ 400 last night.
      Ask yourself how you got access to the card and how did you manage to gamble? (thought hubby was holding cards and looking after finances?)
      Secondly, no matter how badly you feel you need to “replace” that four hundred, for God’s sake DO NOT try to get it by gambling or you’ll add another zero to your 400 and to your woes!
      Next step and the most important one is your Health. Are you in the UK? Do you not have free health care on the NHS? Ca you discuss this with your GP and ask him for sick certs to give to work so that you will get your due benefits. I have been getting Illness Benefit since 2013 when I had to take early retirement on ill health grounds. It’s a two year scheme.
      Did you tell your hubby about last night and about all your worries? You really need to have a chat with someone. We all need hurdle help at different times in our lives.
      Well done on posting here
      Credit Cards are a curse for CGs because we just CANNOT handle them. I was in dispute with a CC Company for a few months I still owe them money They refused the “Settlement” I offered Now they have stopped my card. GOOD!!!
      Is there any way yo can offer them a “Full and Final Settlement”? I did that 5 years ago with a different CC. Owed them over 8k They accepted 5500. That was the ending of my dealings with them
      A relief
      Just take it easy today Gov. Losing money causes us to be in shock Don’t make any rash decisions until your mind is clear.

    • #30593
      gov3
      参加者

      I am in uk , I am currently disabled as I cannot do much in pain all the time but cannot claim disability apparently cus I can walk over 200 meter which is sick . I worked all my life soon as I got injured I been left all on my own . I am signed off got an amazing gp who supports me allot as he knows what I am going through at an age of 35 .
      I am hoping work will retire me but it’s all stressful process got few insurance may cover me another few months once my pay stops but it’s just adds on to my worries .
      My partner has all my. Finances except for this credit card to which I tried to cancel so many times but they won’t do it .
      I closed all other cards so they are not usable but barclaycard is so annoying and would not doit .
      It’s just horrible to know loads of debt is hanging over me I just hate the burden .
      I feel like I am in a never ending cycle all I am doing is paying off credit card bills it’s like they are eating me alive .
      I hate plastics I never ever want to have a credit card ever

    • #30594
      gov3
      参加者

      Well good thing came out of last night was that I called Barclay card and was very firm with them and told them to close the account with immidiate effect , had to argu with the operator and he finally closed the bloody card so I can pay off and won’t be able to use the card what so ever.
      I really felt good for doing this now I closed all my cards and just concentrating on paying them off .
      No card no gamble

    • #30595
      micky
      参加者

      Hi Gov well done on closing down the last one sounds like thats the last barrier you needed to sort out 🙂 M.

    • #30596
      gov3
      参加者

      Yes that was the last barrier and now it’s gone .
      I am still in the shock , I am not going to forgive my self for feeding this horrible addiction .
      My money troubles are coming to end and I am hoping to open a new chapter in my life . I sold my land and fingers crossed I should be getting the money in few days . I will be closing more than half of my debts and have already canceled them all .
      I am not going to have a bank account or any credi cards rest of my life.
      I got a cash card Account to which I set up direct debits and got my wages paid in to it . Simple as that . I warned all the credit card companies not to send me any offers what so ever.
      My opinion is that credit card or any Visa card companies should not allow us to gamble by doing this they are in my eyes working with these nasty gambling corporations .
      For many years credit cRd companies and banks have lured in working class people in to debt by offering money and making us pay 30 times more this is a modern slavery method they used this method for a while it’s time for us to all wake up to reality.
      Now they are using our own minds to get us in to gambling habbit so that they can take more money from us .
      All these corporations work together and their aim is to control us in every way .
      I have woken up to this late but I assure you my child would not go throwing what I been through .

    • #30597
      I_Maverick
      参加者

      Hi Gov,

      Sorry to hear about your stress and your recent lapse. i know what it’s like when you’ve got load of cr*p going on, stress and the knowledge that you;re still gambling. All the lies did for me last year, until they exploded this year. I an honestly say that after 69 days of not gambling my life is so different. It is still a mess, but I am now capable of dealing with the mess, one little bit at a time. I am living at my parents and they come back off holiday tomorrow. But I think it will be fine. have been exploring my own home town, just driving once familiar roads.

      My heart goes out to you, you wrote really nice things to me when I was in a lot of pain before I went to GMA, and I will pray to a god of my understanding. GA is working so well for me. I have driven 80 miles in the last 2 days to attend 2 meetings. One in Derby and one in Stoke. Well worth it, once I get there an meet the others I am reminded what happened to me. Stops complacency. I know if I think I am cured and I can have 1 bet I am done for. Literally.

      Take care, and all my love to you and yours

      x

    • #30598
      Liberty
      参加者

      really good Gov that you managed to get the card company to stop the account.
      I know you did not really want to sell the land but it seems like it will give you some peace with lessening the debts.
      You said I am not going to forgive myself for the slip, Gov, to err is human, do you forgive others their slips? am sure you do why be so much harder on yourself?
      A new chapter is possible every day, as long as we remember just for today I won’t gamble, Gov, remember all the good things you have done and put in place over the last three months you are doing exceedingly well, you need to forgive yourself, you deserve to be free.

    • #30599
      gov3
      参加者

      I been very busy lately managed to sell my land and paid half off my debts off and made sure all the cards where closed for good.
      I feel a bit upset because this land was given to me by my parents and I had to sell it because of my gambling debts but I bealive this is my way out of this mess in order to have a clean slate and move on.
      I didn’t tell my other half with my last relaps as he will be very upset so going to keep this one as a secret . I hate secrets but it needs to be this way for now.
      I big burden lifted off my shoulders for the past few days . But I am scared I am scared that I will go back to gambling again and accumulate more debts but that’s just a worry in my head . I need to stop worrying about things to be honest and this is hard.
      I am going to take one day at a time from now on . I still feel guilty of what I have done and it’s hard to forgive my self.

    • #30600
      vera
      参加者

      Does the Other Half know you sold land to pay off G debt , Gov?
      That’s a tough one!

    • #30601
      gov3
      参加者

      Yes he does know but he also knows it’s for the best for all of us . It was a tough decision to make but I had to and this should teach me a good lesson in life I spose .
      I hate credit card companies with vengeance

    • #30602
      gov3
      参加者

      I closed every avenue that can lead me to debt or gambling this is the only way to control this nasty habbit .
      There is no other way . Maybe one day I will have the courage to go to a ga meeting .

    • #30603
      p
      参加者

      Well done on the steps you have taken so far to stop gambling, be proud that you have done something about your addiciton, reaching out for help is often the hardest thing. GA meetings are wonderful.. for me anyway, not eveyone likes them but i find them incredibly beneficial. It is anonymous, its a safe place to go and somehow i always walk out feeling better than i walked in.. cant say the same for when i gambled!! What have you got to lose by going.

      P

    • #30604
      I_Maverick
      参加者

      Hey Gov

      How are you? I’m back posting but see you’ve not been around for a while. I pray that everything is good for you.

      M

    • #30605
      angie73
      参加者

      Hope things are improving for you, I have just been reading through my own old posts and re read one you placed on mine a while ago. Our stories have similarities, well pretty much in all the posts on here I can find things that relate to my life… funny really, people from all over the world going through the same life situations and experiences.
      Anyway, I also have had another binge and reading through your recent posts it was all the feelings I am going through but find hard to get out, so thank you for sharing a part of your inner thoughts. You (and others) have helped me see that although our stories are our own, we all have similar experiences and emotions, reactions and responses to our lives. The support and advice that everyone shares here is wonderful. I am glad people who are well into their recovery also continue to share and support with people here. Take care Gov.

    • #30606
      gov3
      参加者

      Don’t let your binge let you down because it will make you stronger. Since my last binge I never gambled , I am getting therapy at the moment hence why I don’t write much . Get rid off anything that will allow you to gamble so you can concentrate on your mind xx

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