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Monica ,I won’t go near that site .
My mindset has changed .
But I will email them right now and try close it.
They are relentless

Day 23 – still feeling low and hurt .
It is what it is – I have never been bitter , jealous or resentful.
I always thought it wasn’t in my nature.

Maybe gambling masked my true nature.
Maybe I’m not as forgiving as I thought.
Maybe I’m no longer jolly old ??? who won’t mind.

I don’t really know – but I feel my goodwill slowly evaporating.
No I find it is evaporating at an alarming rate.
I find myself inventing all kinds of scenarios in my head where I will win a minor victory – in a passive aggressive way .
I feel such a resentment growing – how do you survive the unfairness of the world and still stay soft inside ?
Do people remain soft or do we have to harden?
What’s the best way to recover when you have been dropped from a great height ?
Anyone know ?
I always heard the best revenge is to live well – bit hard when u have gambled every spare penny you have had for years .

If writing is so therapeutic why am I crying so much …?
Is this what a breakdown is ?

I don’t know the answers to any of the above but I am glad I am not gambling .