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thank you kathrine for your comment
no i cant ask him because he left the flat yesterday but anyway i dont have money to gamble till next thursday and on 29th of this mount i am going to gordon house i have barriers now i think i have it now
i am not going to do gamble again with help that i am getting from gordon house
i dont know that much about gordon house i found it by chanse i came to gt page bu searching google and i explaind my situation to one of adviser here and he offerd me to go to gh and i accept it
i knew for first 2 weeks as an accesment i am not allowed to go out of gh and i am ready to do that
just this 15 days looks to my a life time
unfurtunatlly for some papoerworks and also some furniture which my flatmate left in flat i cant go earlier to gh but any way its just 15 days even if i think its a life time
just let me know do you think can i get back on the road ? can ibe able again to think lodgicly and be able to do my duties for community who helpped me to be alife and secure? can i be usefull again? i am really now suffering from serios mental problem and i think already you know that with reading my posts ? as a gp i know i can cure from this illness but may be i need someone else to tell me as well ?
i wish i could find out more about the things in gh then i can make myself ready to face it do you know any pages which gave me more information about gh? i already have thier website and i read that . but there is not anything about the acctivities which taking place in gh  .
i am worry not for being alife or dead , i dont want to be die in this situation this shamefull situation .
i did not care if i was ececuted for political reason in my own country ,because it was my choice and i could be proud of myself
but dieing in this situation is horrible ,i want to be free and then it is not important to be die or to be alife ,but here now in this shamefull embaricing situation dieing is another shame