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Thanks Jonny, I have always related to your story. I have lived my life at work mostly to get away from my personal and family life which has always been a bit of a shambles, so without it I am quite bereft. But I do acknowledge right now that I have a lot of medical issues to sort out plus the depression. Bit of a vicious cycle, Work stops me being so depressed. I am in the hole for sixty five big ones. I always had debt of around 50 grand even before I gambled from supporting single handed the family over the years but everything I earned in the last 5 years has gone on gambling. I guess life just got too much when you look back and realise that you have made some very poor choices in life but did not have the best start. Jon, I read your posts about your back surgery and I think you have remarkable courage and strength. I appreciate yours,Vera and jappys response to my posts.