I have just read through your thread and like many people on here I can relate to every word. I am also a slave to the dreaded online slot. Those secret spins that send us into a world of ups, downs, elation, depression, excitement, desperation… All within the space of hours or even minutes.
I too made a promise to myself that I would stop. Several over the last 5-6 years in fact. But have continued to binge every now and then and continue to feed the downward spiral.
I think it was gov that said this illness feeds on those that society would not expect to be vulnerable; the successful, confident, driven, control freaks of the world! And whilst this probably describes me quite well (outside of my regular gambling binges) I know that anyone can be vulnerable to the grips of this addiction.
Whilst it is very important to take one day at a time, I have found it also helps me if I try and make a plan. Something to remind me that there’s light at the end of the tunnel. I have set up a spreadsheet detailing my monthly pay and all my bills for the next 6 months, and whilst I still won’t be anywhere near debt-free, I should be able to perhaps treat myself to a break away or a little shopping spree. It’s keeping me going for now.
I think I saw you say that you used to like to keep fit? Perhaps you can do some research and set yourself a weekly training plan that you can do from home. The benefits of this are many: using time productively, keeping body and mind healthy – and it’s free!!
Just some suggestions for you 🙂
Thinking of you my fellow rollercoater rider; we can a will beat this!