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I enjoyed reading your story and it is my hope you are able to push through the triggers to gamble and fight this addiction, one day at a time. I will just say one thing brother, even when we do happen to win, eventually in the long run we are truly losers. What I mean by that, is think of the big win you had of 37k. How much of that did you actually get? How much have you put back into gambling? The truth is, we are addicted and can’t control ourselves, so we just keep losing and losing. Even when we do get “lucky and win” those profits are eventually given back. Focus on a better you, focus on getting through today without gambling. One day at a time brother!