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One thing I notice is the warping change of time when a craving hits … this morning I feel a little nervous/jittery inside a craving sensation and it feels like time slowing down into super slow motion … like this artificial perception of moving under water and not getting “relief” from it until the urgent/fast moving craving to place a “bet” comes in …

Right now I don’t have anything that’s a “bet” sitting in the markets … yet this slowed down craving feeling is trying to distort good, sound, boring, risk guarded moves into being “unsafe” or “uneasy” and draw me into the urge to hop in and out and throw money away, stare at price action, get emotional etc. as “comfort” or “back to normal” …

Well that normal is a terrible one I don’t wear any more. Fear and jealousy as expressed toward unhealthy extensions of chasing after the imaginings of someone else’s bigger bank account is a mirage in the desert … I believe those emotions belong in self protection. Fear of missing out on my own health and vibrancy, and jealous of my own life force that I protect of myself.

Once again, I write and share to address the craving to do the wrong thing or feel the wrong way about perceiving things, and once again, I believe it is sound for its reason. I do not have to act impulsively to undistort time, but simply reconnect to the timeless values I’ve been feeling deeper and deeper as this journey has begun.

Now, I direct myself to read through my daily quotes and connect to my own mind body and spirit deeper without fear.