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Kathryn, Your post means so much to me! I hope to be in the position, money wise, to enjoy and plan trips also. You should be proud of your gamble free time. That’s a big accomplishment. You give me hope. When your Mother passed, it really hit me hard. I could feel your pain. It was a turning point with my relationship between my Mother and I. I no longer look at her with pain and apprehension. I look at her with love and care. Kathryn, your Mother is all around you. You just can’t see her. My weekend was rough. I’ve come to a conclusion that some major things have to change in my life. Things that are causing me a lot of sadness and will destroy me. It’s time to see my Dr and counselor again. Maybe I would benefit from a light antidepressant. The mind can be a scary thing. I’ve always resisted medications but anxiety attacks are so scary. I need to get some relief. I can’t obsess with what can go wrong. I have to see the joy and happiness in things. On top of all of this, I found a large scropin in my hallway! Yikes! Thank goodness my Granddaughter wasn’t here. He went into a dustpan and back outdoors. This weekend I’m feeling really insignificant. It would be nice to have someone say, it’s going to be okay and you are enough. Kathryn, you’ve made me feel better. Thank you.