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so yeah, no money was actually a little money that was to get us through to payday. I spent half of it gambling. And we scrambled through with me constantly checking credit card balances and having a lie prepared for why I couldn’t pay for my treatment- physio. I just don’t like my current head space. Changing in someways would be so easy. Just open my mouth and tell my husband. It’s hard to admit. Because if you don’t know what that irresistable draw feels feels like how can you undrstand? Weekend safe time. I need to get a grip.