[Nick]

[Nick]

The longest day today 6th june 1944, feels like mine too, i have a long way to go .

[Nick]

Any advice on recovery would be greatly appreciated, thank you .

[velvet]

Hello Nick and thanks for starting a thread in the Gambling Therapy forums

Here at Gambling Therapy we pride ourselves on being a caring and diverse online community who can help and support you with the difficulties you’re currently facing. We understand that this might be a tough time for you, particularly if you’re new to recovery, so come here as often as you need to and participate in the forums, access online groups and connect to the live advice helpline if you need one to one support. We’re in this together!

Here on the forum you can share your experiences in a safe, supportive and accepting environment. The beauty of writing it all down is that you can take your time and you will be creating a record of your progress that you can look back on if it ever feels like you’re not moving forward. So, share as much or as little as you like but do try to stick to keeping just one thread in this forum so people know where to find you if they want to be updated on your progress or share something with you.

As well as the forums New Members are invited to join Charles in the New Members Practical Advice Group On Mondays at 21:00 (UK) and Thursday at 19:00(UK)

And on that note….

I’m going to hand you over to our community because I’m sure they will have some words of wisdom for you 🙂

Take care

The Gambling Therapy Team

PS: Let me just remind you to take a look at our privacy policy and terms and conditions so you know how it all works!

[finding_laura]

Hi Nick and welcome to the forum.  perhaps if you tell us a bit about yourself without reavealing anything about your identity would be helpful.  Read lots of other threads and posts. Even if you go back through older ones you will find stories you relate to and advice etc that people were given.  The most basic piece of advice is to stop the financial bleeding.  It’s seems most of us have a hard time stopping ourselves until we have absolutely nothing left.  So we need to protect any savings, credit or income we have left from our addiction. Maybe you can ban yourself, maybe you have someone else look after your money and give you an allowance for now, maybe you cut up credit cards, or perhaps you can install a software blocker if you gamble online.  Getting support is also beneficial.  Go to a Gamblers Anonymous meeting, seek out counseling, talk to someone here on the help line or post your thoughts and feelings.  These are some of the things  that may help. Take care,

Laura

[Nick]

Thanks for the advice Laura and Velvet. I am a middle aged father of four children and four grand children and i’m living on my own at this present time. I want to change my life around and quit compulsive gambling and pay my debts off. I have contacted the multi operator self exclusion team who have been very helpful. I’m struggling at the moment filling my time .

[charles]

Hi Nick, well done on looking for help. Laura has already given you some great adice. Read the other threads here and you will see the sort of things that have helped others stop gambling. Using support is important – if we could doit on our own then none of us would be here in the first place.

Filling your time is important. We all have different interests. Look at past activities that stopped when you were gambling. Look at thigns you have always wanted to try but never have. Lots of free activities about. Planning your time is important, fills time and thoughts away from gambling.

Keep posting and let us know the positive steps that you are taking.

[Nick]

Lots of supportive advice so far , thanks Velvet,Laura and Charles. Iv’e kept myself busy today and enjoyed it, lots of things to do and think about .

[Nick]

I have been making a list of my prioritys , just taking my time to think about them and how i should approach them and deal with them and what they mean to me. First time ever i have put myself on the top , if i’m looking after myself i figure i will be able to address and look after the others.

[Nick]

I’m trying not to try to do everything at once , so much to do now i’m in recovery and so much to catch up on . Debts and the worry it brings are so stressful.

[Nick]

Not sure why glumpsammite has advertised a casino on my journal ? last thing i need ?

[charles]

Hi Nick. My apologies. Sadly, despite our best efforts, this sort of post gets through now and again. I have deleted the post and the user account.

[Nick]

I’m actually enjoying life again and doing all the things i enjoy some of which i’d stopped doing.

[charles]

Hi Michael, my apologies, I didn’t give you the complete procedure for starting your own thread. Go to the My Journal Forum and scroll to the bottom of the forum. Then click on “New Topic.” That way you will be able to keep your own thread running and get feedback specific to your situation rather than it getting confusing on someone elses thread.

[hoserdomechild]

Gotchya.  My bad.

[Nick]

?

[finding_laura]

Hey Nick, not sure if it was hijacked or sometimes a new user to the forum doesn’t realize how to create their own and tag on to someone else’s journal by mistake.

Sorry I haven’t been around to post, had a death in the family and was traveling. I am grateful that I have rebuilt my life. I had the finances to go and attend and be there to support people I really love.

Making a list of priorities sounds like a great idea. I’ve noticed a lot of gamblers use gambling as a pressure release, sometimes a reward for ourselves for being there for others. The problem is when we have developed an addiction to it we can no longer use this as it will destroy us. Take care of yourself as you say. As we have been artificially increasing the feel good chemicals in our brain and now we take that away it can cause depression. Walking, jogging, hiking, spending time in nature, playing social sports, all can help increase these chemicals naturally. I hope you can find ways to add these things into your life. Glad to see you are still progressing in your recovery. Take care, Laura

[Nick]

My recovery is going well, now i have had time to think about where i want to be it is nice to have a picture in my mind of that .

[finding_laura]

Good to hear Nick. Keep focused. I find daily attention to my addiction in one way or another helps me keep in mind where I want to go, and reminds me of where I don’t want to go. Gambling created a hell for me because I couldn’t s top. I never had enough. It’s nice to be calm and not have that stirring up problems. Have a good evening. Laura

[Nick]

Recovery okay , relationship not going well , i’m just not gambling to try and cloud the issue or blank it out , head splitting but i’m not gambling.

[finding_laura]

Hey Nick. Sorry to hear about the relationship issues. Are they gambling related or were they there besides the gambling? Recovery sure isn’t smooth sailing all the time. And sometimes we aren’t the easiest people to deal with. When we are gambling or when we are in a mood because we are not gambling. Always pays to try and identify if we are contributing to the problem.

Good to hear recovery is okay. A lot of people can find it rather blah compared to the excitement of gambling. So you know ok is OK! You can work on making life more exciting in other ways. But that will never happen if you gamble. Sometimes we need to hang on to the ground we’ve already made and tomorrow is another day for improvement.

Take care of your self.
Laura

[Nick]

Hanging on to the ground ive now got under my feet sounds like a good option i feel like i’m on firm ground now.

[finding_laura]

Hope you had a good weekend Nick. Standing on firm ground does sound like the place to be. Gambling addiction is like living on ground that is mid earthquake and made of quick sand. Or for me it was anyway. Keep taking it one day at a time, one step at a time. Laura

[Nick]

Laura , thanks for that it’s good to remind me of all the good things i can be doing instead of wasting time on ngative things.

[kathryn]

While I’m sorry you are having relationship issues at the moment I’m so so happy to read that you haven’t used gambling as an escape.
I think sometimes stopping (physically) is the easy part. Its when we have a problem, a sadness, a trauma or drama in our life that its so difficult not to run back there.
Ive always seen my addiction as a little monster on my shoulder, always whispering at the times I feel the lowest. Trying to suck me back in. Getting through those periods, coming through the other side, unscathed by the addiction is something to be really proud of.
You should be proud.
I look forward to reading more from you.
Take care,
Love K xxx

[finding_laura]

Hey Nick,

hope your week is going well. I’ve been thinking that we have been short on some masculine advice lately on this site. A lot of men tend to gamble on more adrenaline types of gambling like racing, sports, black jack and roulette. I know often in recovery they complain about a lack of excitement. So I just wanted to post a couple links I have often found very useful. I’m a bit of a researcher by nature and in my work. I’ve always felt when dealing with this addiction that knowledge is power. It gives us the insight into where we may run across pitfalls and insight into why we may be feeling the way we do. One of the links references a book. I have never purchased nor am I related to it in any way. Nor am I recommending at this time as I just don’t know. But the advice on the web page seems sensible and my government provided certified gambling addictions counselor said yes these symptoms apply to gambling addiction as well. And of course fee free to disregard! This is your recovery after all.

http://www.azccg.org/Male_Gamblers.html
http://www.azccg.org/Types_of_Gamblers.html

https://www.addictionsandrecovery.org/post-acute-withdrawal.htm

[Nick]

Thanks laura and kathryn i’m still not gambling i have my barriers in place and they have worked when i have thought about it. Thanks laura for the links , some good pointers about why .

[finding_laura]

thumbs up Nick! good to see your update. Keep at it. Laura

[Nick]

My recovery is going well , taking each day as it comes and focusing on my targets .

[finding_laura]

Great to see an update! I’ll take a one liner as it lets us know you are still with us. Still in recovery. Every day may not be rosy but gambling would make any day worse! Enjoy the weekend gamble free. Laura

[Nick]

I feel a failure and remorseful for being a gambler, today i gambled not for the first time in the last few weeks i’m not sure what to do anymore .

[Monica1]

Sorry to hear you gambled. Did you identify what triggered it? For me nothing is worth going back to the addiction that would surely destroy me. And it very nearly did.
Did you have any barriers in place, and are you getting any emotional support? Both are needed to truly recover from this awful insidious disease.

[Nick]

Starting over is never easy but it has to be done , tuesday seems so long ago as i enter day three of my recovery . Drawing a line under it was never easy and it ever is but i have done it .

[Monica1]

Well done for deciding to put an end to this miserable addiction. Once we have crossed the line to addiction we never can gamble responsibly again. Please do and try and obtain support either here or from GA.

[Monica1]

Thanks for posting on my thread. Good to hear you are getting counselling as that will help. Now if you are excluded, if,you had won, You would not have been able to collect, so I wonder what motivated you to go to a venue you are excluded from. You are not a failure as you didnt ask for this addiction. We live in a culture, some would say in complete moral decline, where we are bombarded with the advertising lies every few ads on tv. It is sick and needs control. Harmless fun becomes fun less harm is what GA said to me, and that stuck in my mind cos it’s true.
Gambling for me happened when my very long term relationship ended at a time when I had cancer so I know that relationship issues can be a big trigger.
Keep posting and join us in Charles facilitated groups on on the other groups although they have been very quiet recently cos of hols.

[Nick]

Councelling appointment booked for next week , hopefully once and for all i can beat my demons.

[Nick]

Surfed the urge today and so proud of myself i was able to make the right choice .

[i-did-it]

Well done Nick – you missed a bullet full of pain, shame, grief and worry .
Keep strong my friend xx

[Nick]

My first appointment with the counceller today i hope it goes well .

[i-did-it]

I hope it goes well Nick .
You are making great effort and progress towards beating this and remember you deserve to be free from his horrible addiction. Let us know how you get on .

[Nick]

Counselling appointment went really well iv’e got to say i was surprised how well it went , so glad i made the first step .

[finding_laura]

So great to read this update and sorry I missed your recent posts. Glad you had some support from IDI and Monica since you gambled.

I’m thrilled that your counseling appointment went well. Sometimes it can take a couple attempts to find a good fit in a counselor so to know right away is a plus. There are a lot of tools we can use to beat this. My gambling addictions counselor is right there at the top for me. She helped me work through some tough issues and helped me make good use of the other tools i learned along the way from all sources. Gambler’s anonymous, here, and other online supports. Keep working at it. Do not accept a setback as the end of your story. There is much more to life than gambling. Wishing you much success.
Laura

[Nick]

setback number 2 last saturday where will this all end, why i keep putting myself through this hell i do not know i have tried everything. I can’t get an overdraft i can’t borrow i’m a mess . Maybe in the long run not being able to get in more debt is a good thing. All i know is my head hurts from trying to put a false face on at work again and again. I’ll keep trying i suppose.

[lizbeth4]

Sorry that you had a setback! You have to keep trying. Don’t  give up. Do you have all barriers in place to prevent this from happening again. We all come to the dead end whete we can’t get anymore credit or over drafts. Looking back, I wish that my credit had been denied sooner. It would have saved me a lot of debt. Forgive yourself and move forward. I’ve been gamble free since my last relapse. Although it’s been hard at times, I have to stay gamble free to keep my sanity. Stay strong. Keep going!

[Nick]

Thanks for the posts monica, i-did-it, laura and lizbeth i really do need help .

[Nick]

My last post reads i really do need help. Helping myself is the priority here if i can’t help myself then im doomed to failure. At the moment im trying to hold everything together with very little money whilst working on a plan of action for my next payday in 2 weeks time. There is no point in languishing in self pity. I am not repeat am not borrowing money i got in the hole on my own and i’ll get out of it on my own.

[finding_laura]

The harm we cause ourselves gambling becomes the nightmare many of us were trying escape from with gambling. You are correct. You have to be on board with helping yourself. And that it means no more bailouts. The only way to stop getting in deeper is to stop digging the hole. Eventually you will run out of credit with creditors and good will with family and friends. And the hole may seem inescapable. Reach out to someone in your life that you trust who can help you with financial accountability. When our gambling brain takes over it’s safer with blocks in place. Follow up with your counselor. Check out a support group. And yes put that mental ban in place. I don’t gamble anymore. Take care, Laura

[Monica1]

When we work we think we can gamble cos the next pay check is round the corner. Then we lose the job maybe because of gambling, or other reason , and then we hit rock bottom. No income, can’t pay bills and can’t do anything. Nick you are one step away from that. Each relapse once addicted takes us further down that rabbit hole. I hope you get some support and stop.

[Nick]

Thank you laura and Monica for your support, my minds my mind and i am dealing with it the best i can. Taking each day is not easy but attainable.

[i-did-it]

Hi Nick
Thank you for replying on my thread .

People who have been gamble free for a long time write about the urge to gamble decreasing .

I have never got that far.

However I do know we both deserve a better life than this – a life free from the pain of gambling .

Keep strong Nick and keep working on it .

[finding_laura]

Good morning Nick. Sometimes that is all we can do, get through the day one day at a time. Sometimes it’s get through the minute as best we can! And that will add up through the day. Keep working through things Nick. Never give up hope that you will get through the anguish this addiction causes. You are worth every effort. I hope you have a great day. Laura

[Jackdandy]

Hi Nick
Got to get our brains right mate
I tried to get a loan increased a few weeks ago and I am in the same boat
I haven’t been on here that long
50 single and almost a grandpa
First grandchild due in December
Its the days that I dont look on here that have been going wrong for me
So maybe keep reading the stories and you realize your not alone and there is nothing wrong with us that we cant fix
Stay strong

[Nick]

Thank you i-did-it, laura & Jackdandy for your support on my journal i have taken on board all of what you have said and feel better for it. Yes i totally agree the more time on here the less i think about gambling, we deserve a better life and work things through, never give up.

[Nick]

Ive decided to do some research on the things i used to gamble on and what the odds of winning are, this is an interesting one if you had gambled £10 on the favourite on every horse race in the uk in the last 10 years you would have lost £37,298. another fact about 40% of favourites are false favourites. and last but not least the bookmakers rake it in if the favourite loses , they are not interested in which horse wins as long as it isn’t the favourite. Oh and one more roughly about 2.5 / 10 favourites win.

[i-did-it]

Hi Nick
I think once gambling become compulsive it doesn’t matter how much we win – we will always lose it back.

I am glad you are thinking less about gambling . Another way of looking at your statistics is if you decided to save £10 for every race you would have saved £37,298. How cool does that sound ?

I am starting to se edgy some people get rich and some stay poor ! Lol

Keep strong – u are doing great

[Nick]

Proof i didn’t need it : on the 26th of August i was panicking after gambling most of my salary away the day before trying to lend money until payday, i was unable to borrow anything although i did try. Now 15 days later and only a couple until payday i now realise i didn’t really have to get deeper into debt. I budgeted with what money i had left and it worked. I get paid monthly and i’m going to the same thing this coming month ( not gamble ) but stick to a rigid budget for a month and see just exactly how much i need basically to live on for a month.

[Tango74]

Hi Nick,

In a world where we are subjected to fake news at every turn, it is useful to surround yourself with facts sometimes. I don’t dispute your findings, far from it. It illustrates the futility of what we do, although as i-d-i said, even if the odds weren’t so completely stacked against us, as CGs, we’d end up losing it all eventually.

Your plan to produce and stick to a budget sounds like a great idea. When I have looked at things in the cold light of day without any gambling going on, I was staggered at how little I actually needed to spend to exist. It’s like a real life version of those “Eat/Live Well for Less” programmes on the telly!

[Nick]

Second post today i am feeling good. Been out on my mountain bike ( 1 hour and 10 mins ) it felt so good to be out there feeling the wind and fresh air blowing around me , gulping the fresh air into my lungs was so refreshing. Havn’t done it for quite a long time it was good.

[i-did-it]

Hi Nick
It is great that you are rediscovering other ways to enjoy yourself – take the body and the mind will follow . Well done on not borrowing extra money – post as often as you need to !its great to read you are doing well!

[Nick]

Tonight, been to mixed doubles badminton night, thoroughly enjoyed it , a good 2 hours (except a rest between games) sometimes. Got my haircut this morning and pottered around the house the rest of the day, hope this isn’t boring anyone.

[Nick]

All going well , the exclusion banned from one , banned from all works i tried last night to set up an account online and got knocked back every time. Also got asked to leave a bookmaker s last friday , embarrassing but what i needed .

[Nick]

Brain whatever telling me to gamble , i’m telling my brain no, all the reasons not to far outweigh the reasons to do.

[finding_laura]

Hey Nick, just catching up! Glad to know all your attempts have failed so far. Brain says yes? Switch the channel. I don’t gamble anymore. Not for me. Waste of time and money. You have got it right. The reasons not to far outweigh any possible benefit. It is our primitive brain looking for a fix but we know how much chaos that can bring to our lives. Hope your weekend has gone well. Good to see you posting. Take care, Laura

[Nick]

Things are going well i paid a chunk off my debt last week and have no urges , keeping busy and on top of my life .

[Nick]

A small and insignificant disappointment almost had me driving 35 miles away to a bookmakers for a brief moment to escape about half an hour ago. Thought about what would happen if i lost and if i had won , both equally would have set me back . The guilt either way would have been too much. I have targets and aims both small and big and i want to keep them up.

[Nick]

I know the big push on tv etc is smoking and alcohol but why shouldn’t we be involved. To make it more worth the while lets all pick a charity and put a £1 in a jar everyday of october we don’t gamble and at the end of october donate it to our chosen charity. Let me know if your with me ?

[vera]

I picked lots of charities in the past which I intended funding….”stashes” usually ended up in the slot machines!
Just sayin’ !

[Nick]

STOPTOBER day 3 – i can understand vera’s post but im not giving up that easily almost before iv’e started. So onto day 3 and no urges just positive thinking today.

[Nick]

STOPTOBER day 4 and £4 in the kitty , after my post yesterday i did have urges and today as well but overcame them by thinking it through, it’s so much easier said than done . Actions do speak louder than words, milestones are too much for me i have to think in lamp posts , at least i can see the next one.

[Nick]

STOPTOBER day 5 and £5 in the kitty, just thoroughly cleaned the oven inside and out took ages but it looks great . Got that you deserve a bet/ drink feeling for a reward for working hard today but im not acting on it . The feeling of waking up tomorrow sober from not gambling or drinking to oblivion is my reward and i can function properly and normally tomorrow.

[Nick]

STOPTOBER day 6 and £6 in the kitty, looking forward to today thats how much my life is changing hence the early post. 🙂

[Nick]

STOPTOBER day 7 and £7 in the kitty, been to work today , feeling good at the moment STOPTOBER going well i originally started the month with the intention of not drinking alcohol but it’s even better abstaining from 2 addictions. 🙂

[Nick]

STOPTOBER day 8 and £8 in the charity kitty. It’s never easy being an addict and wanting to get that adrenaline rush but give yourself some reasons not to and try and focus on them . The urge will go not right away but it will go eventually.

[Nick]

STOPTOBER day 9 and £9 in the charity kitty and im completely sober and not betting. I’m so clear headed and the feeling is one of peace.

[Nick]

STOPTOBER day 10 and £10 in the charity kitty. Just about a third of the way through october now , small aims and targets are the way to go , one day at a time leads to weeks…………….

[Nick]

STOPTOBER day 11and £11 in the charity kitty. Up off last night shift and now on rest days, has been a trigger in the past to go and have a bet , a bit like a reward after completing my shifts . i’ll post later because i need to update if ive overcome or given in to the trigger.

[Nick]

STOPTOBER day 12 and £12 squid in the jar/kitty/box . shame no-one else joined in with me but hey ho i’ll sail this ship alone 🙂

[Nick]

STOPTOBER DAY 14 🙂 🙂 🙂

[Nick]

STOPTOBER day 15 🙂 🙂 🙂

[Nick]

STOPTOBER and now over halfway 🙂

[Nick]

STOPTOBER day 17 , never thought i’d get this far, been struggling with the negative thoughts today.

[lizbeth4]

You have gotten this far and you are doing great! Some days are harder than others. You can get through today! Keep going! Find something to occupy yourself. Stay strong!

[Nick]

STOPTOBER day 18 and i’m really happy the way things have gone no hiccups so far……………… just peace of mind on terra firma……………………..

[Drat88]

Well done Nick, the posts later on in your journal seem a lot
More positive than those at the start. Clear proof that NOT gambling DOES pay! 🙂

Stay strong and keep on my friend

[Nick]

STOPTOBER day 19-20 , and two thirds through my challenge of stopping for october and at the same time benefiting a charity of my choice ( don’t worry folks im already making plans for ” NEVER IN NOVEMBER” ) im not going to start again in november because i think i deserve it for being good in october.

[Nick]

STOPTOBER day 21 = 3 weeks and it feels like much longer. I’m thinking probably because i am doing so much more in my spare time :

[Nick]

STOPTOBER day 22……………………. and alls going well .

[charles]

Hi Nick,

Vera made a good point. £1 a day to charity is very commendable but £30 in coins at the end of the monthy can be very tempting. Maybe make a donation once a week? You can still keep a monthly tally.

Keep posting.

[Nick]

Hi Charles thanks for the uplifting well done comment ( NOT). I take on board what your point is but i havn’t come this far to use charity money to bet with i have money in the bank if im tempted to gamble.

[Nick]

STOPTOBER day 23 and £23 in the charity tin/box/kitty (its a tube if anyones that interested ) . 23 days and ive had two well done comments, can’t be bad in this world we live in today where people love seeing other people fail.

[velvet]

H Nick

There is nobody on this site who would want you to fail and I am sure there is a lot of interest in the way you are taking your addiction by the scruff of it’s neck…

So this is another ‘well done’ comment from me but please, please don’t take the concern of others as throwing cold water on your enterprise because sadly it is well known that cash in the hand will always be hard for a compulsive gambler.

Whatever works for you Nick is great – a gamble-free life is so worth every and any effort. I look forward to hearing you giving your chosen charity a boost – but more than that, I will follow with interest your posts as you stay gamble-free by doing whatever suits you – because you matter.

Well done Nick

Velvet

[Nick]

Thank you velvet means so much for an uplifting post .

[Nick]

STOPTOBER day 24 and a week to go until i give my £31 to my chosen charity. My everyday posts are boring i know but they are important to me to keep reminding myself of why im doing this (FOR ME MAINLY) . I’m going out later for some exercise which i know really helps my thought patterns. Yesterday i donated blood , maybe if we can do one good thing a day it will help us to enjoy a better life .

[Monica1]

Just had to comment on the sweeping statement about cash in the hand to a cg. I really take issue with this one size fits all approach. I have never handed over my finances and have never been tempted in recovery to use my reasonable amount of funds in my bank account to gamble. So just to say it is whatever works for you. We r not all the same and I bail at the suggestion and labelling as CGs as if we were all the same. Soapbox over.

[vera]

Of course one size will never fit all, Monica, whether its in Gambleland or Anyland. Coins in a jar would not tempt me to gamble but I do know from experience that having available money that I’m not accountable for, has been my ruination. I have heard this said my many compulsive gamblers.Small notes and coins don’t tempt me, but show me a bundle of fifties and my gambling imagination can run riot. Not always, but sometimes, which proves that even in one person there can be variations. Gambling is a complex issue as is Human Nature. “No mon=no fun”can apply to CGs in the early stages ( call us problem gamblers, addicts, pathological gamblers, whatever-I refuse to let labels define me) but as we wean off, some people have no problem taking care of finances , others – I know many who are 20 years G free and never trust themselves to handle  cash. For me , being short of money, having too much money, lending money, getting caught up in any type of wheeling and dealing has almost always caused me to gamble. Even knowing I am due a tax rebate or any extra dosh sends me into a spin. As does money shortage! I can only share from my own experience. I don’t make sweeping statements. Every statement I make is firstly spoken to and about myself. If anyone benefits, fine. If not…well that’s ok too. Nobody feels the pain of another member’s (are we allowed us the term “member”?) relapse as much as another Compulsive Gambler. Why? Because we all know what it’s like to be in hell.

[Monica1]

And all of them taken on board, vera!

[vera]

Nick, I’ve been around GT and Ga for a while now and I can honestly say I have never known of anyone to rejoice in another’s fall back into gambling. 

[marke]

Would like to add another well done. You have got yourself motivated and are using your time well so keep it up.
I need to regain my motivation to lead a more positive life again and to maintain it. My spare time has been an enemy in the past. I need to do active stuff yes, but I need to be able to learn to relax and switch off sometimes too.
From what I have read in my short time on this site everybody tries to inspire each other. Nobody “fails”, even if there is a lapse back into gambling. We are all working towards the same goal of giving up for good!

[Nick]

STOPTOBER day 25. 25 days seem to have dragged in it seems a lifetime, maybe im posting too often . Either way the non gambling days are great.

[Nick]

August 26th since i last gambled , so by my reckoning thats 2 months . I sort of got myself confused with the stoptober thing im doing but it was good to work out 🙂

[kathryn]

Way to go!!!
2 months is awesome!!!
What have you been doing to fill those days? Some can be waaaay longer than others, but I reckon that goes for everything in life!!!
I don’t think theres such a thing as posting too often, my old thread that I started 9 years ago was something like 300 pages long…..I posted everything, all the time…..and it helped!!!!
Hang in there, you’re doing great!!!!
Love K xxxx

[Nick]

Almost at the end now 🙂

[velvet]

Not the end Nick – but a great beginning

Well done

Velvet

[Nick]

Thanks Velvet 🙂 Stoptober day 29 is here and also a new day , every days a new day. odaat.

[finding_laura]

Well done Nick! Two month ODAAT is amazing. It means you got up every day and made that commitment to yourself. I think that can be what makes a difference. We finally recognize somehow that we need to change for our own sanity. I for one have always been glad to see your post. It let me know you had made it through another day. That you were still here on the road of recovery and doing ok. Success is a rare thing. Cherish it. Take care,
Laura

[Nick]

The penultimate day is here 🙂

[Nick]

Last Stoptober day been a long month but here i am 🙂

[Nick]

Here we go again, 2 days in and alls well another charity will benefit at the end of the month 🙂 and boy its good for me and good for them .

[Nick]

Day 3 and im off work today , my partners coming over later, then after shes gone home i’m watching sport , totally bliss 🙂

[i-did-it]

Hi Nick
Well done on your gambling free time- it’s not easy but you doing it . Keep strong .

[finding_laura]

haha love the titles! Never in November! Sounds good to me. A catchy phrase that will remind me each day in November to make that commitment to Never in November. One day at a time. I love that you donate to a charity at the end of each month. It’s a way to share the rewards of a gamble free life. Have a great weekend.
Laura

[Nick]

Day 5 of nin , the days go by whatever , weather they are good or bad 🙂

[Nick]

Day 6 and a sad day, its been several years since my daughter spoke to me, it’s her birthday today . I do hope she has a good one and maybe god willing one day she will speak to me again,.

[vera]

Very tough , Nick.
I have a son who has cut himself off.
It’s his birthday this month.
All out of my control.
I often gambled in the past to escape the situation.
Gambling changed nothing . Only created more grief.
Life goes on.

[Nick]

It never rains but it’s pouring down, good to have peace of mind knowing theres not alot you can do about the weather but life choices sometimes you can.

[Nick]

day 9 of nin, just completed day 3 of a course relating to my work, last 2 days are at the end of the month . Was a bit hard going but i learned quite alot. Happy gambling free weekend folks.

[Nick]

11/11/11 WE WILL REMEMBER THEM .

[kathryn]

Great job, keep it up.
Im sorry to read of your daughter.
All you can do is live your best life, and if she knocks on your door one day you will be there with open arms.
Sending you all my best.
Love K xxxxx

[Nick]

Everything going well , hitting the exercise bike today .

[finding_laura]

glad to hear it. no matter what, gambling only makes things worse. Who needs that? Not me, not you, no one. ODAAT nin will turn into? I’m already trying to think of your clever slogan for December. Keep up the effort.

Hopefully your daughter will someday have a change of heart. I don’t know if it is because of your past gambling that she doesn’t speak to you, and none of my business really. Just keeping working on yourself and hopefully someday there will be a change of heart. All you can be is ready.

Thanks for your support Nick! have a great gamble free week.
Laura

[velvet]

Hi Nick
I don’t know if gambling is the reason for your daughter’s silence but I do know that it is possible to repair broken relationships if the will is there. Hopefully when you are secure in your gamble-free life it will be easier for you to cross the divide if she is willing to meet you part way. I don’t say half-way because I think you will have to work the hardest. How old is she?
Entering a gamble-free life, in the early days, can often be a time of impatience – “I’m making the effort – now why can’t the world accept me?” You know how determined you are to be the man you want to be and the father she would want you to be but at the moment she is unaware of the changes you are making.
Early recovery has to be a selfish time; it is enough for you to work on yourself for the moment. A seed of hope has been planted in you, the green shoots are showing but it takes time to grow and more time to blossom.
Whatever happens Nick, your gamble-free life will give you a freedom that is precious and worth all the effort.
Keep going – you are doing well
Velvet

[Nick]

Thanks Laura & Velvet for the welcome messages of support, yes being gamble free does free up lots of other things i can do . 🙂

[Nick]

Having a good day today , exercises done and found a pair of gloves i thought i had lost, going to the quiz tonight. All things impossible to do when gambling .

[Nick]

Up bright and early today although the weathers not so good, i am because i’m not gambling today. 🙂

[Nick]

Choices: “Am i being driven or am i in the driving seat” . – “If your being driven get back in the driving seat”

[marke]

You are doing great
Great words
I have just jumped my car will be driving that behind you on the highway out of here!!!

[MurrS7]

Day 4 gamble free each day gets a bit better mentally I never want to go into this dark side again 🙁

[Nick]

Nin 16 and just home from a 12 hour shift ( 13 including travelling time) 🙂

[Nick]

A beautiful day here today and im really happy with my recovery 🙂

[Nick]

nin 21 and all is going well, youngest son passed his driving test yesterday, happy days. 🙂

[Nick]

Been a busy weekend, and a good one. 🙂

[Nick]

nin day 28 , starting to think of a slogan for december, dnid definitely not in december maybe ?

[Nick]

Iv’e done it gain another gamble free month and this time £30 to my chosen charity. A £1 a day keeps the gambling away. Now for December and a slogan .

[jen3]

Way to go!

[Nick]

Hope everyones doing okay, countdown to christmas is on ,im off out to my eldest sons soon, with some money.

[Nick]

Having a good/bad day still trying to get over my partner ending our relationship on the 19th of november. Just trying to keep busy and focus straight.

[vera]

Sorry to hear your relationship broke down, Nick. Keeping busy and staying focused is important at times like this.
One wrong move and we are doomed!
Was it due to gambling?
If so, you may still have time in recovery to sort things out.

[Nick]

Day 15 and alls well i didn,t expect to be doing so well . I hope everyone is doing okay as well 🙂

[finding_laura]

Hey Nick,
just checking in. Not around so much now that I’m working. I am still getting used to it and find i’m not good for much other than work, appointments, keeping up with a little bit of house work and of course there is getting read for Christmas. I’m really happy to read you are doing so well. I think you have found the truth about recovery. We have to do it for ourselves. Yes that means our loved ones benefit and we stop hurting them but it has to be for us or else someone else can take away our inspiration and our reason. So here is to Day 18 of definitely not in December! Enjoy your holidays 🙂
Laura

[Nick]

Another day in recovery and my life has changed so much although i’m not kidding myself and getting too carried away.

[Nick]

Merry Christmas to all CG’S and Staff on GT. X

[Nick]

all gone now the demons are back

[vera]

What happened, Nick?

[Nick]

lost everything i had gained

[i-did-it]

Hi Nick,
You haven’t lost everything you have gained.
You have gained the knowledge that you can build up gamble free time.
You have gained the understanding that there is no such thing as only one bet or any other form of controlled gambling for us.
You have gained the realisation that you need another barrier or barriers for when will-power fails you.
It is horrible right now- the aftermath of gambling always is for us. Perhaps it might be an idea to Read back over the posts when you were abstaining to see how quickly things can improve for us once we stop.

The important thing now is to stop the drain, try not to chase losses and get right back on the wagon.
You can do this !

[Nick]

IT TOOK A MESSAGE ON MY JOURNAL WHEN I HAD LOST EVERYTHING I HAD GAINED AND MORE FOR PEOPLE ON HERE TO COMMENT, WHERE ARE YOUR COMMENTS WHEN I AM DOING WELL THAT INCLUDES STAFF ON HERE CHARLES YOUR SILENCE IS DEAFENING WHEN PEOPLE ARE DOING WELL MAYBE YOU THRIVE ON IT SEEING AS YOUR CURED. IT JUST PISSES ME OFF WHEN YOU GET NO WORDS OF WELL DONE FROM THE SUPPOSED STAFF ON THIS SITE.

[jen3]

Hey Nick! I understand your frustration. Years ago this site was much more active now it’s hit or miss. I guess we get out what we put in. Well, not really because I check in several times a day and give feedback and post yet I seldom get any response wether I am doing good or bad. In any case we can not rely on this site alone. Not sure do you go to any recovery groups outside of this site?? You might want to try if your not……. You were doing Great! I am sorry about your relapse! I know first hand how much they suck!! Hell this addiction sucks period… Do not let a set back cause any more pain. You can and will get back to the good place you were in. I know you can do it. Best to you.

[charles]

Hi Nick, sorry to hear of your gamble and sorry to hear that you feel neglected.

This is a user lead forum, Gambling Therapy is a charity and sadly funding means that no one is allocated to post on threads, other than the usual welcome message.

Myself I work here two evenings a week facilitating the groups. If groups are quiet then I try to use the time posting here. I try and post on new members threads, as I did on yours, I posted again, though I’m not sure it was appreciated and I see my colleague Velvet has also made several posts. On reflection I would say that there has been more staff input on your thread than on most, as I said it is a user lead forum. Posting on others threads is probably the best way to encourage them to post on your own.

Personally I also tend to focus on threads made by regular group attendees – to give me a heads up on on things to discuss in those groups.

Posts I make outside of my group times are made in my own time on a voluntary basis. As is monitoring threads for abuse/trolls etc

There are things you can do though. if you want me to congratulate you on your gamble free time every week then I can – just come to one of the groups I facilitate on a Monday and Thurday evening (UK time and I will do so. I look forward to seeing you.

If you want other compulsive gamblers to congratulate you then get yourself to a GA meeting, you will get a well done every week, as well of course as having the extra tools to work on recovery.

You stopped gambling and you can stop again. If you feel the support you have been getting isn’t sufficient then you can change that by using the extra support that you have avaialble. As well as the groups we do of course also have the one to one helpline.

Last but by no means least I have to say that I am not “cured.” I am a Compulsive gambler and always will be. getting to a GA meeting each week is what helps me not place my next bet.

Stay strong and keep posting.

[Nick]

Thanks Vera , i-di-i, Jen and Charles i’m going to try once again to give up this addiction i will never stop giving up.

[lizbeth4]

This addiction can leave us with feelings of loneliness and isolation. Don’t give up. You’ve been able to stop before. Keep the faith!

[vera]

Yes, Nick ,it is very frustrating when nobody listens. Not only in GT but across the whole spectrum of life. Life has changed. We have become selfish. People seem very involved in their own “buzz” and other people’s problems go unnoticed. Perhaps that’s why the Bible says “Put not your trust in princes or mere man”!
Alcohol won’t undo your gambling loss either, Nick.
The more we gamble, the more we withdraw from Life. The more we withdraw, the less likely it will be for Life to come looking for us.
We are not alone, Nick but we are on our own when it comes to recovery.
Nobody can take a step for us.
Others can only walk with us.
Only God Himself will carry you.

[sherrie]

Welcome back Nick. It’s good to see you posting . Sorry you’re having a bad time.

[jen3]

You got this Nick! Keep coming back.

[i-did-it]

Hi Nick,
That’s the right attitude.
Ask yourself is here anything you can change ?
is there anyway to limit losses if temptations gets the better of you again.
IS there any way to make gambling almost impossible – can you get someone else to control your money and give you an allowance?
This might seem like we are giving up control but in actual fact does that really matter when we are enjoying a great holiday or relaxing knowing we are debt free?

You can do this Nick.

[Nick]

Hi Folks ive just attended 2 support groups and found them great . I’m on my road in recovery .

[Nick]

On way home from work i had the urge to got to the bookmakers but chose not to felt very proud of myself , work again tomorrow and then tomorrow night i will be calling the MOSES centre.

[lizbeth4]

It’s good to hear that you had another gamble free day! Keep going! Stay strong!

[i-did-it]

Hi Nick
That is great news – well done !is the Moses Centre a gambling support ? Keep strong Nick!

[Jezi]

Hey nick, well done not giving in to the urge the other day. Since we spoke on monday i have actually booked myself in to a local ga meeting tomorrow. Spoke to a representant from the group yesterday and he told me that anyone who attends has to sign a confidentiality agreement so im gonna give it a try as i realise that im in need of a lot of support right now. Will see how it goes, am super nervous. Have a great day!

[Nick]

Feeling upbeat today , enjoyed pouring alcohol down the sink when I got home today, no answers in the bottom of a glass plus I,’ll wake up clear headed and sober tomorrow.

[vera]

Good to hear you are making progress, Nick.
I don’t drink much but I know for sure that alcohol and gambling don’t mix and that neither will solve an iota of our problems.

[charles]

Hi Nick,

Well done on getting rid of the alcohol, it can weaken anyones resolve. I also now that when i had to stop drinking for health reasons my gambling increased – it is very easy to switch addictions.

Well done on resisting the urge to gamble on the way home from work. The thing I would suggest there is not to carry excess money to work, just have enough to cover lunch. It won’t matter how many bookies you pass on the way home them. keep posting

[i-did-it]

Another gamble free day – well done Nick!
And well done on the alcohol!

[Nick]

No alcohol and im off on rest days now so much to do and little time to do it in , doing a car boot tomorrow with my friend for a charity .

[sherrie]

That’s sound nice Nick. I imagine it will feel nice to be doing something good to help others. Enjoy your rest days. x

[lizbeth4]

Great on not gambling and stopping the alcohol. It’s not easy. Give yourself some praise!!! Keep doing what you’re doing. Have a great weekend!

[i-did-it]

Great Nick , you sound so positive in your posts. Isn’t it nice to be doing something for charity _hope you make a mint.

[Nick]

No Alcohol since 13th the of January and i feel so much better for it , been doctors today i have a virus ive felt rundown for a while now so hopefully will be back at my best soon.

[lizbeth4]

Awesome job on no alcohol. Get well soon.

[lizbeth4]

The book is called, “The Financial Peace Planner”. You spend one week on each chapter. You have to journal and complete activities. It’s very interesting and I think it will be very beneficial. Yes, the pics of my Granddaughter made my day!

[Nick]

Been busy working and actually treat myself to a night out on saturday , things are looking up .

[charles]

Well done on your gamble free time Nick, enjoy that night out – all part of seeing the benefits of nt gambling.

[vera]

are you treating yourself to a night out every Saturday, Nick?

[lizbeth4]

Thanks Nick for your supportive post! Yes, we need to treat ourselves. Enjoy!

[Nick]

Moses sorted ( multi operator self exclusion scheme) it worked before and it will work for me again. One day at a time.

[Nick]

One day at a time it has got to be , planning to far ahead gets me nowhere , at least this way i have achieved something everyday .

[lizbeth4]

I find that getting through and focusing on today works for me! Also, focusing on the positives helps. Have a great gamble free day!

[Nick]

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
Courage to change the things I can,
And wisdom to know the difference.

(For today and everyday)

[Nick]

People gamble for different reasons and not everyone’s circumstances are the same. However, I believe that all gambling is a form of escapism.
By escapism I mean an effortless diversion from reality – a time away from our real lives where we rise and fall as we win and lose. For some, gambling is an end to a means, a way to solve an objective problem through obtaining winnings. For others, the problem is on the inside and the gambler wishes to get away from it by living the fantasy crafted by the gambling facilities. And yet for others, there is another reason why they become transfixed in the diversion of gambling. In any case, the rule applies to all – you spend your time gambling instead of doing other things. You obviously find this to be a pleasurable habit that enables you to ignore reality for a little while or you would avoid it. Thus, it is escapism.
One of the reasons why gambling addiction requires willpower to beat is that it is a form of escapism that always begets more escapism. When you win, you believe you will win again, thus providing escape. When you lose, you want to escape your losses, and thus you chase them. Either way when you gamble you only desire to gamble more. There is no avoiding this, for that is the very nature of gambling. This is why the gambling addict must quit forever or forever remain an addict.
Escapism draws away our energy to handle life’s problems, for we become use to ignoring them in the temporary pleasure bubble of our diversion. Further problems only feed the beast and may trigger one’s escapism habit to become worse. That is why many people who bet casually become addicts after they start to have problems – the problems feed their desire to escape/gamble and they become lost in the downward spiral of escapism.
It is indeed a downward spiral. Bet begets bet. Losses mount, chasing continues until a person realizes that they’ve lost a lot. The sadistic addiction continues even further, for many it reaches the point where they have absolutely no money left to draw. Then they cannot escape any more and they must face the ultra-painful reality of their situation.
The lesson in all of this simple. The only way to ensure that you are successful in your quest to eliminate gambling addiction is to eliminate escapism from your life. Find every problem you refuse to face, accept it, deal with it, and move to the next. Ruthlessly tackle your life, pick up the shambles, and put it back together again. Take a vow to face reality no matter what.
In the end, you cannot possibly be a gambling addict for gambling has no meaning to you any more. You understand that it is merely a very flawed, toxic, and poisonous solution to problems that you are capable of handling without it.
You will also be a happier person and a lot less stressed out because you know that everything is under control.

[Nick]

I have been exercising, day1. 60 push up’s. day2. 20 sit ups, 10 sit ups, 20 sit ups & 20 push ups, today day 3. i am going on my exercise bike to do 16.5 k. ( i really need to post this as i need to give myself a push to do it) . It’s so easy to be lazy and not bother.

[vera]

Good for you, Nick.
I’m barely dragging myself from the bed to the car.
I will have to follow your example and get moving.
I could never do push ups though.
Exercise definitely gives us a better buzz than gambling.
Keep up the good work.

[Nick]

16.5 k in 47 minutes 🙂

[sherrie]

It’s lovely to see you posting and being so healthy and positive. Well done Nick x

[lizbeth4]

Thanks Nick for your post. It is always good to spend time with our children and Grandchildren. It makes us realize what’s really important. Great job on the exercise.

[vera]

Nick, the “untouchable” account is an Online Savings Account with the Bank. The money goes directly from my current account so I don’t get to see or handle money at all.
I need to give 7 days notice for an online withdrawal
(Sadly I did “touch” it last year a few times, i.e. transferred from that account to my current account and gambled it)
I did have an even safer “untouchable” Savings Account a few years ago. It was locked in for a year. At the end of the year the bank transferred it to my current account and I still can’t believe I lost it in a week -gambling. That was in March 2015. GONE just like that!
No use crying over spilt milk…
Just for today, I will not gamble.

[Nick]

I’m going to watch my grandsons for a couple of hours before i go on 12 hour night shift ( also 12 hour night shift tomorrow) but im off on monday for 6 days and have made lots of plans for them. Hope everyone has a gamble free weekend , i know i will . 🙂

[Nick]

Flicking through the tv channels yesterday i came onto itv racing , thought for a moment was i’ll watch this to see which horse wins, quickly followed by why waste my time on something i no longer care about , turned onto another channel. Now that was all about how my thinking has changed.

[Nick]

Recovery is a life changer and something which is taken day by day because if we stop and take our eyes off the ball , we can be sure to relapse. ODAAT.

[Nick]

Multi operator self exclusion scheme works !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i stupidly tried to re open an account last night and was turned down , 🙂

[Nick]

If you think you are being driven STOP and get in the driving seat and steer into the right direction .

[i-did-it]

Hi Nick
I haven’t been posting so much recently so it is a delight to read of your progress .
I like your insights which are real and not some regurgitated cliches !well done on making good choices and thank you for your always kind encouragement on my thread !

[Nick]

I am much more confident now in my life in any situation now that i have stopped gambling , has anyone else experienced this ? .

[vera]

I’m certainly more confident when paying for goods at the check out, Nick. When I was gambling my heart always went bumpitybump in case they would say “card declined”.

[i-did-it]

I think money gives us confidence – maybe that’s why rich people seem to have bags of it lol!

[Nick]

Thanks idi and vera for you input on this, i think also it’s because we are not hiding anything like the emotional and physical stress we are undergoing inside our mind and bodies.

[mrsgibby]

I have tried quitting many times but always end up back at the slots. I have damaged my life monumentally. I try to limit my access to money and transportation. My husband often gives in and hands me his debit card because he hates seeing me get so sick. I have many illnesses including ptsd, depression, and rts. We have four wonderful kids, three with autism. My husband is a disabled veteran. Our life is challenging and gambling had been my escape. Now it’s a prison. Any advice is appreciated as it is becoming impossible to believe this can be beaten.

[Nick]

Struggling today, had a couple of days off work and drank too much, but at least i’m not gambling. Still not over my relationship split from last november it’s taking a long time to get over it. Being honest with myself i know it’s over for good but that does not stop the hurt. Hope everyone is doing well in their recovery .

[vera]

Not easy , Nick.
They say time heals. Personally, I think as time goes on, we just learn to live with our losses and try to find new coping skills.
Gambling served as a method of coping in the past but let’s never forget where it led us.
Keep posting.
Alcohol is not the answer either.

[i-did-it]

Hi Nick ,
Relationship breakups are hard – even harder when we can point the finger of blame at ourselves.
Who knows what the future holds but we can be ready when an opportunity comes along to build a relationship. Gambling certainly has stolen a lot from us all.

[i-did-it]

Hi Steev,
Thank you for your post on my thread . It has been extraordinarily helpful to me today. Much appreciated

[lizbeth4]

I don’t think that I’m more confident when I’m gamble free. For me it’s a feeling of being the more authentic me. I feel free and my true personality comes out.
Sorry that your recent breakup had you down. Relationships are hard.
I hope you had a good day!!!

[charles]

Hi Nick,

Something I heard at a meeting once…..

A good day in recovery is when everything goes well and we don’t gamble. A Brilliant day in recovery is when everything goes to chit and we still don’t gamble.

If you have been having some tough days then well done on those brilliant days in recovery.

[Nick]

Moving on in recovery has got to be the best feeling , sometimes i wake up with a hangover but i have not gambled , i have learned to disassociate one from the other. I don’t have to gamble to win money to buy things i can do that with the money i have.

[jen3]

You’re doing great Nick. Keep on keeping on. 🙂

[Nick]

Moving on is just the best thing , my life without gambling is not perfect but certainly the best thing that i have done in a long time. Life is good . As someone said ” people don’t plan to fail” they “fail to plan ” 🙂

[i-did-it]

Hi Nick
Congratulations on your continued success in beating this addiction.
A gamble free life is a life of freedom.
It feels like we are absolute slaves to this addiction so it is great to get our lives back and own them.
Keep going.

[Nick]

Trigger today , just a remark from a friend (unintentional ) about my ex organising something to which i’m not invited . Got me thinking for a while but i’m not acting on it. : Happy recovery day . 🙂

[i-did-it]

A massive well done to you Nick. Gambling will only provide escape for a short while and then we return to the same issues except a lot poorer and a lot more unhappy.

[Nick]

Trigger today my ex , sent me a message saying ” I cannot stand any contact with you please stop” . I say trigger, it might have been in the past but not now, not today, not ever. 🙂 I’m sitting with a cup of tea and enjoying it.

[Nick]

Recovery day 40, i havn’t mentioned how many days i am into in recovery but idi said i should to give others on this site hope. So i’m being brutally honest now , this is why i have not mentioned it , i did not want newcomers to gt to think it’s easy . I have owed , been in debt for thousands of pounds in the past, i used to gamble every single penny on payday , surviving on £3 bags of frozen sausage whilst having a well paid job. I have been to prison, i have been close to drinking myself to death , i have attempted suicide on more than one occasion, all because of gambling. I’m 54 years old and i’m moving on now because i could not go on living the lie . The lie of a gamblers life. Because we are all lying to ourselves when we gamble . I hope some of the folk on here read what i have said and never go to depths i did because of this addiction .

[i-did-it]

Well done Nick
40 days is pretty amazing .
I wrote on my thread about how we can change most things in life – we just need to ask ourselves what it is that we want and go for it . Look at where you are now – well done !

I hope you dine on steak and caviar this week – I’m afraid it will be a £3 bag of sausages for me as I gambled at the start of the month and am feeling the pain now .

Can I ask have you stopped for long periods in the past ? I think 8 months was my longest .

Keep strong Nick .

[Emma8]

Hi Nick, are you getting on well and about to celebrate day 50? I’ve just hit one week myself and it feels good to track the numbers and see my progress. Not having to scrape by with no money is making a huge difference alone! Keep going, I’m looking forward to seeing you hit two months soon!!

[Nick]

Moving on and on day 49 and i’m 55 years old today . Feels so good to be able to go to the shop and buy what i want on my birthday , never done that for a long time. Hope anyone reading this takes heart if i can get to day 49 , you can as well 🙂

[Monica1]

And to a gf year ahead!

[Philip7777]

I need help guys, I can’t stop gambling. Every time I play I feel like I can win my money back. I am an angry gambler, and when I lose it makes me mad so I put more money in. It all started with fantasy football. I would put maybe 300$ every Sunday and I could stop. Well I was doing some work for a guy and he said man if you love fantasy football you’d love horse racing. I wasn’t familiar with horses at all, but I decided to play not knowing anything about horses or how to bet. To make a long story short I’ve lost over 100k horse racing. I took 5 personal loans out. One for 9,000 that I tried wining back by taking out a 2nd loan 4,500.00 then 2 other loans that equal 24,800.00. Horse racing is over I don’t play that anymore. What really gets me is roulette and black jack. I can’t wtop playing and I need advice. I’m going bankrupt in May. All my debts will be forgiven, but I’m still starting in a bad path. I know it’s bad for me but I still end up playing like a loser. I have a baby due in a couple weeks and I’m ashamed to be her dad ;(

[Nick]

Hi Philip , you have a massive reason to stop gambling , a baby on the way, going bankrupt is not the end of the world. You can start today by being honest with yourself and facing up to your debts , get help through g.a. and start a thread on here you will get some great advice .

[charles]

I hope you had a great birthday Nick, well done on your gamble free time. When it comes to age i would say life doesn’t begn at 40,50, 60 etc it begins wen we stop gambling 🙂

Phillip. scroll to the bottom of the forum page and click on new topic. You can stop gambling I promise you.

[Nick]

I was thinking the other day about gambling and an idea popped into my mind, i thought a bookmakers was not on my Multi Operator Self Exclusion Scheme , one that was about 5-6 miles from my home. When i checked to see if it wasn’t , low and behold it was on the list , success , my barrier worked. 🙂

[Nick]

Moving on and i’ve hit day 60 , never thought i could do it but here i am , i was in town today and saw a guy who works in one of the bookies i self excluded from, i just said hello to him. Thats life i suppose , we move on when we have to . I cannot remember the last time i was gamble free for this long.

[charles]

A great achievement Nick. Oner day at a time is small and achieveable – and can be life changing 🙂

[Nick]

I’m now onto day 71 and my barriers have certainly helped me achieve this milestone, i’m enjoying life and although i do have bad days they come and go like the good ones . Just to remind folk i did lose thousands and thousands ( and more owing so much i had to sell my house and down size to a much less attractive part of town ) , then i continued to run up debts , i did lose relationships, and i did hit rock bottom when i went to prison . Now i have money in the bank, food in the fridge , and peace of mind when i wake up in the morning , it hasn’t been and isn’t easy , everyday is a fresh challenge to stay in recovery . I hope anyone starting out in recovery reads the above and gets some hope from it , it can be done .

[velvet]

Hi Nick
Threads like yours are like beacons of hope – they inspire and I love reading them – thank you.
Velvet

[Nick]

I’m now 100 days into recovery, never thought i could ever get this far my barriers have been a massive help. Never ever stop giving up hope , i didn’t and look where i am now . 🙂

[i-did-it]

Congratulations Nick- that’s a magnificent achievement . Well done and well deserved .

[Gbabyh]

100 days is an awesome milestone, Nick! Keep doing what you’re doing. Seeing how grateful you are, even for the little things, is a huge inspiration – thank you!

– Chris

[Nick]

Your support is very and always welcome.

[Nick]

Moving on and life is good, yes there are bad days but not compounded by the come down of a gamble frenzy like in the past. Life throws enough crap at us without the added extra burden of that. All members both old and new whether your in recovery or re-lapse keep it going , never give up giving up. 🙂

[Dazza85]

Wow Nick, I’ve sat and read every one of your posts here. Your actually quite inspirational, well done to you! I accepted me problems a week ago, and today I slipped. Just once, but I slipped.. I’m so determined to stop, and reading your journal has given me extra inspiration to pick myself up and start again! Thank you Nick

[Nick]

It’s been a while now since i have posted, so thought i would touch base, in the last 100 days i have only gambled 12 times . 12 times too many i know but an achievement for me , basically through putting barriers up .

[Nick]

Lockdown working for me : It’s working for me because the bookmakers are closed so i can’t sneak into one after driving many miles to one where i hope they don’t recognise me and i hope its working for others too, once we realise how much money we are saving we don’t go back to the habit and have new habits formed by the time this is all over.

[Steev]

I would be interested to hear what new habit you are forming. I know one of the pillars of recovery is making new use of time – but I find that hard one hard to advice people on because it is so individual. What do you do that substitutes for the emotional rush of gambling?

My new (not so new now) habit is walking out in the country. It feels like a contradiction of being in a closed off gambling venue where often you can’t even see the outdoors. But I am aware that is not a pull for many people.

I am glad I am still able to go out on my “permitted exercise” time and my big concern is for those who gamble on-line as I feel there is no escape for them.

Good to see you posting and I look forward to discovering your new habit – if you feel you want to share.

[i-did-it]

Hi Nick
Lockdown is interesting because it can cut off the “supply” for many people with addictions. For me the addiction of a gambling blocker on my phone and I more or less completely safe.
Steev makes a good point Nick – is this a good time to maybe find a replacement activity ? I found Netflix but I’m sure there are much healthier options out there.

Congratulations on your gamble free time
Onwards and upwards Nick !

[vera]

I read your response on another thread, Nick regarding support on this forum.
I know when I first joined GT in 2008, what kept me from gambling was the phenomenal responses and support I received. I really felt that people cared. I used to dash home from work after a 12 hour shift to join Cathy’s Group at 9pm.
The Wednesday night groups with Monica are sorely missed.
Charles has been faithful but I think he is sick of me now. Turning up like a bad penny with the same old story can be draining.
I think support comes chiefly from other users. There is a fine line between ignoring a post and becoming over involved. The latter has been my downfall in the past.
In the early days, as soon as I made a post, there were always quick replies. We tend to expect that to continue but it doesn’t . Some posts displayed compassion. some came with words that were harsh, lots of tough love and many great laughs. The camaraderie, fellowship and banter kept a lot of members G free.
Roll on 12 years…
Things have changed. Support seems to be missing lately?
What changed?
I changed, I guess.
Perhaps I became cynical, desensitized to the needs of others or just got TIRED!
Gambling has strange effects on us, Nick.
Try not to lose hope or become despondent.
You say you gambled only 12 days out of a hundred. I probably gambled 100 days out of the last 365 days at a rough guess.
For me that was 100 days too many.
One day is enough to ruin a CG.
The cliche “progress not perfection” might be a consolation to some but in my case I use it as a justification to avoid making the improvements and changes I need to undertake to stop gambling forever.
Just my tuppence ha’lpenny worth. No judgement.
Keep posting , Nick.

[charles]

Perhaps the next time you are consider gambling you should look at some of the other options you have to fill your time. You want support? Great, I look forward to seeing you in the groups more often. Alternatively you could connect to the Helpline. Which of the tools on the App are you using? You had counselling I seem to remember – what did you learn there that you are choosing to do or nor to do? Read back on your own thread – what advice have you been previously given that you are choosing not to do? What barriers have you chosen not to put in place yet? Are you doing so now? You expressed feelings of neglect previously – go and read what I wrote then, are you using any of the support I suggested? Do any of the things? Did you think the support at GT is crap, I had better go to GA instead? Contact Gamcare? Ask your Dr to refer you to more counselling? Residential support? Or did you choose to disappear and not use support for 10 months? There are a lot of options out there, you can either choose to use them, or choose not to. I once told you the risk of having a pot of coins – you didn’t like that advice either. Now I understand that you are hurting, we all did when we lost our money. The thing is though you can either choose to attack things here, blame others for your problems, or you can choose to address your own actions. We are all responsible for our own actions. We were responsible for them when we were gambling and we are responsible for them in recovery. So what are you going to do? I

[i-did-it]

Nick you deserve a great recovery.
Really focus on that.
It is so easy to get distracted by all that is wrong with the world – it is maybe at times easier than focusing on ourselves and where we are at.

I know that whether or not they write on this forum, no one celebrates more than the GT staff when we start to make it in recovery.
Let’s be honest – there are things I should be doing right now which I am not doing.
There are things which I let slip in my own job because I was gambling.

You have every right to be angry at the hand life has dealt you- gambling addiction is a horrible blow and I don’t know why we were chosen to have it.
Please direct that anger at the addiction.
Something that helped me was to give the addiction a name and write a really honest letter to her.
I couldn’t print it here because the language I used was choice.
I told her what I thought of her, how I was leaving her toxic friendship behind and where to go if she ever wanted to call on me again.
Could you write a similar letter and really focus your anger on the addiction ?

We’re all rooting for you Nick .

[charles]

Hi Nick,
I hope you are managing to focus on your own recovery.

Read back over your own thread from the beginning – what advice have you previously been given that you could take actions on?

[Author]

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