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    • #54014
      LSA
      Participant

      Played for 15 years. Sports games for 10 years and lately casino in the last 5 years.
      Lost my wages for years…Perhaps 25k or more.

      I have decided to quit to day and will NEVER play again.
      Made this thread to remind me of this commitment (to make myself more committed).

      I can still recover but I need to do it right now…Otherwise I will just ruin myself…My life is bad enough without gambling.

      It can not become worse…But now…I can choose to play and ruin myself or do exactly as I wish…I have nothing to lose…I should not care about
      being normal or doing what “people expect”, I ruin myself or do what I like to do. Until now I have done, what people expected!
      I became unhappy and played. It’s time to live my life as I truly wants it to be!

      Reminder: NOW!

    • #54015
      Seanraj4731
      Participant

      Good day LSA. You are a turning point in your life. Congrats on making the biggest decision in your life. Welcome to your new life to self recovery to attain self worth. Keep this journal it helps to observe your thoughts. If you got GA meetings in your area please attend and seek counsel as well. It is a new journey in your life. You can read people testimony on this website. Continue to seek positive words from those close to you and speak to someone whom you can trust.
      Keep on keeping on. Thank you for starting your tread.

    • #54016
      dunc
      Participant

      Hello and thanks for starting a thread in the Gambling Therapy forums

      Here at Gambling Therapy we pride ourselves on being a caring and diverse online community who can help and support you with the difficulties you’re currently facing. We understand that this might be a tough time for you, particularly if you’re new to recovery, so come here as often as you need to and participate in the forums, access online groups and connect to the live advice helpline if you need one to one support. We’re in this together!

      Here on the forum you can share your experiences in a safe, supportive and accepting environment. The beauty of writing it all down is that you can take your time and you will be creating a record of your progress that you can look back on if it ever feels like you’re not moving forward. So, share as much or as little as you like but do try to stick to keeping just one thread in this forum so people know where to find you if they want to be updated on your progress or share something with you.

      As well as the forums New Members are invited to join Charles in the New Members Practical Advice Group On Mondays at 21:00 (UK) and Thursday at 19:00(UK)

      And on that note….

      I’m going to hand you over to our community because I’m sure they will have some words of wisdom for you 🙂

      Take care

      The Gambling Therapy Team

      PS: Let me just remind you to take a look at our privacy policy and terms and conditions so you know how it all works!

    • #54017
      LSA
      Participant

      Thanks Seanraj.

      I lost 3.500 euro yesterday…I will earn these money back in 2-3 months if I only buy food and pay my bills so I should be fine financially.
      It’s just so depressing because it isn’t the first time…I have lost 2-5 months of hard work too many times. Starting over again.

      But I know how to cope with this disaster: I set personal goals and work hard to move forward in life, I read a book every day – I occupy myself with valuable things to make it up for my mistake.

      But when will I play again? Just one last evening, betting my house away? Can one just stop without winning it back (chasing)?

    • #54018
      LSA
      Participant

      I have always lost my money in the end…But (mostly) only small amounts until I lost 10.000 euro in a month last year (and 3.000 a few months before). Had fun but would rather have travelled the world or something else. Decided never to play again…But in June I played one evening. Won a bit, like 40 euro or so. In October I played again, won 200 euro. Now I was back in business! Lost and won a bit in November and December, didn’t play for too much or too often…Until yesterday!

    • #54019
      Seanraj4731
      Participant

      Yes lsa you are gonna rediscover self worth and recovery. Continue posting and posting on this forum. You are an amazing person. You got this man and i am here to support and encourage you to start enjoying your life now. Start a new hobby, skills , reading good books. Seeking positive  development each moment of your life. Thank you for responsing

    • #54020
      LSA
      Participant

      Today it just seems like a reasonable idea to play one more game. What if 2k becomes 10k? Can one be unlucky every time? The urge is so strong. Do not know whether I will resist it. It’s interesting how little I care about my losses last year. It’s forgotten. But it’s always my recent losses I think about. Until I have earned back what I lost, I feel sad and want to chase.

    • #54021
      jurhen2
      Participant

      Dont try to balance it out you wont succeed, even if somehow you do (this forum wouldnt exist if it was so nor all the gambling stuff) and you actually win its only going to drag you deeper in and you will loose more than money.

    • #54022
      Seanraj4731
      Participant

      Think wisely my friend re think renew that mindset. Repeat this  I AM GOING STOP COMPLETELY! I AM STRONGER THAN THIS URGE. SEE ME RISE AGAIN FROM IT ALL. 

      Regain your positive energy brother. Take a deeper look at your health that is your great wealth. Relive renew your mind to who you were before your first bet.remember that memory of who you were then. Now that is the only memory you shall focus on. Reshape your thinking man. You are well able to make or break yourself.

      Think positive brother.

    • #54023
      Steev
      Participant

      One of the biggest obstacles to staying stopped, chasing losses is seen by some as a classic indicator of problem gambling.

      Indeed, some of the literature and websites aimed at marketing “professional” gambling, state that the biggest difference between someone who gambles to make money and someone who is a “hobby” gambler, is that the former gambles with a fixed stake and does NOT chase losses.

      My problem was that when gambling I usually had a fixed stake of time, not money. I went out expecting to enjoy it for several hours and problems arose when the money ran out before the time did. In that sense I know I was a “hobby” gambler. I never expected to win and although it was a bonus, the pleasure of gambling did notdepend on my winning.

      Another thing I am aware of is that when I first started to gamble – I couldn’t have told you what I would do with a big win – other than to continue gambling.

      I was doing well materially. I was a householder, (with a mortgage) at 20 and had a company car at 21. All that soon went and I was living in lodgings and on public transport by 25, but even then with a big win I don’t think I would have thought further than to have enough to pay my debts off – which were accruing at a rate that only a compulsive gambler’s can.

      When I first sought help for my problem in my early 30s, it was the size of my debts and the increase in the repayments that made me seek help. I knew that it was only a matter of time before I would be unable to function as a normal human being with a job, somewhere to live and food in my belly, unless I found a way of stopping the leeching of money to the machines and began to make amends. But then there was still this idea in me that the “Big Win” would make it all okay.

      So, hard as it was, I had to give this dream up in order to stay stopped. I was not going to put right the damage caused by gambling by doing more gambling.

      In order to achieve this I realised these 10 things.

      1) The odds are impossible.

      Let’s face it – if I am playing regularly on a machine that has a maximum payout of say 200 – and my debts are 40,000 – how many times would I have to win?

      That’s if a) I ever did walk away winning and b) I could ever wrench myself away from the thing. That was my logical mind working for a change!

      2) The cost of gambling was the price I had to pay to realise that I was a compulsive gambler.

      I know this might be a hard one to swallow – but I have learnt a lot about myself because of my gambling. I would have had to pay out thousands to counsellors, therapists and other professionals for this wisdom. Perhaps not as much as I have lost over the years but it is a way of writing some of the losses down in my mind.

      I was stubborn. If I could have realised I had an addictive personality much earlier then I would have saved myself a lot of money and grief.

      3) Other people, (non-gamblers) can lose thousands, why can’t I?

      There are plenty of stories out there of people who have lost money through business’s going bust, scams, fires, floods and other disasters. They have pulled themselves out of it – so what is to stop me? I know one thing is that I felt bad about it because it was self-inflicted, but that is no reason not to draw a line under things and start again.

      4) Thoughts about chasing losses come from my emotions.

      It is my emotional mind that thinks about the losses – NOT my logical mind, (see above.) I know it’s that petulant child that thinks – “it’s not fair – I deserve to win.”

      Maybe I do, but it is not going to happen for the logical reasons already stated. Wishing it was different is not going to make it happen.

      5) If I did win, I would just keep the cycle going.

      If I didn’t win the full amount I needed I would keep playing to win more. If I won more than I needed, I would think I could afford to gamble with the excess.

      Soon I would be back to square one or worse.

      6) I need to learn that there is more to life than having money.

      Again – another hard one for me, but not having money has allowed me to discover I can have a good life without it. My favourite pastime, walking is free and I enjoy going to libraries etc. where they still exist. I have also learnt the value of money – how to make savings and of alternatives such as LETS.

      7) If I win big, then other people lose.

      Yes other poor gamblers like me or you – and if I really want the gambling industry to stop making big profits, I need to stop feeding it. The dream of the big win is what keeps the betting shops, casinos and on-line gambling sites going. A dream is all it is.

      8) Dreaming of the big win gets in the way of reality.

      It is not the big win which will get me out of debt. I need to really look at what the debt is and how much is needed to bring it down. Reading Robert Kelsey’s book, “What’s Stopping You,” helped me see that my fear of failure stopped me from trying new ways to make money and thus go back to things that would never work, gambling.

      I needed to concentrate on the possible.

      9) It will be small steps that will make a difference.

      A few extra hours at work here – finding small ways to boost my income. It may take time, but then I will save time by not gambling, not having to seek money to gamble with and not having to deal with the consequences of my gambling.

      10) The Einstein rule.

      Albert Einstein said that the definition of insanity is “doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.” Now, I know this is true for gambling as a whole – but far more so for chasing losses. If I have chased losses before and it hasn’t worked, what on earth makes me think it will work the next time?

      Be like Einstein – don’t chase losses!

    • #54024
      LSA
      Participant

      Thank you for all your support…Got a relapse…Will return when I lose it all…Sad but it’s how it is…

    • #54025
      Steev
      Participant

      Sorry to hear this, but when you do come back we will still be here.

    • #54026
      Seanraj4731
      Participant

      Brother you got support here and if there is GA meeting in your area please attend. 

      Stay strong man. You are going over come this

    • #54027
      LSA
      Participant

      I have read it several times on this site…But…
      Well, I did it…I won it all back and actually more than that but I blew it all away and lost another 7000 euro. So stupid…
      My problem (besides gambling) is that I drink and gamble at the same time…So could not stop, I was a king.

      I think I could win it back once more…But it will be very risky and difficult without more cash….And just don’t want to play anymore.

      Today I realize that it isn’t about money. I feel bored in life, I’m kind of lonely, haven’t really found my purpose in life, doesn’t really like my job, no girlfriend for many years, not really good at anything…I am a loser in life and gambling.

      You really hit the nail on the head Steev. I hardly knows what to do with my money if I got it back. Agree with the other things too.

      I lost too much but I was unhappy when I had the money so they didn’t really help me. I need to change my life. I haven’t enjoyed my life for years…

    • #54028
      Seanraj4731
      Participant

      Good day Bro. You got to stop beating up yourself man life is how you made it. I am not a therapist but from what I gather you are at a low point in life and all of which is crashing down. you are going rise up. here comes a time in everyone’s life

      Where we gotta stand up and fight
      It doesn’t mean that it’s wrong or right
      Just let it go ’cause it’s on tonight
      Round and round and round we go, where we stop nobody knows
      We’ll stand together and we’ll let ’em know
      Mess with the bull get the horns, that’s the way it goes
      Raise up,

      Listen to some feel good music and it going change your perception of your reality.

      Please keep reading people testimonies on this forum to see the light of day man. 

      all is well with your soul.

      You are an amazing person.

      be strong man.

      keep on treading and in time you are going help others

      keep your mind set on positive affirmations

    • #54029
      Steev
      Participant

      It is not easy to change your life but it can be done. When I was gambling heavily, I decided to change my life by moving to another city where I didn’t know the casinos. I also lived near a place with slot machines and I moved to an area where there were none.
      When I got to the new city, I made sure that people knew I had a gambling issue – so that they could look out for me. I still “slipped” – I still had work to do, but it did slow me down, it did help.
      Recently I have changed my life again by selling up and putting what is left in storage. I am now travelling around the world. I am choosing how I want to live, because I believe that if I am living my best possible life I am less likely to think about gambling to change things. Why would I?
      If you are serious about change – get good support whilst you do it. I hope you go for it.

    • #54030
      LSA
      Participant

      Thanks for your support.
      Have decided to stop gambling and change my life.
      If I don’t change my life I will be here again in 6 months, when I have earned my losses back by hard work. And honestly I can’t see any point in earning any more money if I don’t really enjoy my everyday life…The small things in life.
      I will post each day the next week and more rarely for a long time to remember this bad bad feeling I have today.

      Day 1:
      1. I have realized I have to change many things in my life…Otherwise I will gamble again…And it’s not really funny anymore.

      2. Money is gone, hopefully I will earn new money some day but the old is gone, never had them, never will again.

      3. I committed myself to this long term process. I’ll do it NOW!

    • #54031
      LSA
      Participant

      Feels physical sick today…Sometimes it feels like my body is going to collapse.

      My mind has been busy too. I feel ashamed. I’m happy I don’t have my own family, it would be too difficult to tell what I have done.

      BUT it could be worse. I have my health, I can still pay for food and will survive. And this mistake have sparked something in me: Now I will change my life. It will take longer to change my life than to earn losses back but it’s important to take small steps everyday.

      I hope and believe I will never gamble again. If I had withdrawn the money 16000 euro at the right time, I would have felt so good now but I just know I would have started playing again in 1 month or next year…So I can hardly regret my last losses…Just should have ended this long time ago.

    • #54032
      Seanraj4731
      Participant

      LSA its your time renew those thoughts will proper life hacks. Say ” I AM GOING TO…..” instead ” i will..” when your tells you that i will stop yes you do stop for a moment or two but the thought of doing it again still lingers on. When you use the life hack words of i am going to … definitly you are serious about completing the change within your mind. You are rewiring your mind whenever you repeat the goals you going to achieve brother.

      Its is full commitment and constantly job to rewire the mind so my brother use these life hack and focus only on your now. Its all you got is right now.

      I Am Going to …..

      Stay positive

    • #54033
      LSA
      Participant

      Thanks for feedback Seanraj. You are right. Your journal, besides some others, inspired me to do it now. You have come a long way in very few days.

      I dreamt about gambling last night but today have been easier than yesterday. I haven’t thought too much about it but still feel sad about it all. Still feels I only did this because I was drunk.

      My goal this week is to survive…I would like to take action NOW. Work for 16 hours a day or something to make it up but am not able to do that currently.

      This week I get over the worst feelings and get an overview of my financial status and find things I want to change in my life. Next week I start to change my life. I change one small thing each week until I get the life I like.

    • #54034
      LSA
      Participant

      Today was much easier. I’m getting used to my current situation. Well, I can’t live in the past so I have what I have.

      The evening has been more challenging. If I had enough money I feel tempted to try again. But I’m not stupid, I would not play for 4000 euro…I would never win anything from that starting point….Anyway I don’t have enough money and I truly believes the temptation is gone long before I have saved enough to gamble again.

      Overall it’s not as hard anymore. Of course I regret and think about it but not as much as the first 3 days. For the first time I got some urges today but I know they disappears soon and my life is much more important than money. I really don’t need money to be happy.

    • #54035
      LSA
      Participant

      I feel a bit empty but overall I don’t think too much about it during the day.

      So if someone lose a small amount of their money they should just wait…Within very short time they will forget everything about it. Unfortunately I lost a fairly big amount compared to my income.

      Not sure I should make a general savings account as before. My savings in the future must be more specific. If I save money I must save them for a purpose like buying a new car or travel this summer. The idea of travelling some day or buying a car some day within a few years seems to be a bad idea for me.

      Just looking forward to celebrate my first week without gambling and look forward to my new life with more experiences, more fun and more wisdom. I can do whatever I want in my future and gambling is not something I want anymore.

    • #54036
      Now-or-never
      Participant

      I love this, thanks for sharing!

    • #54037
      Emma8
      Participant

      It sounds like you are stuck in a very negative mindset when it comes to money, which I totally understand.

      Now that you have stepped away from gambling you need to step away from your way of thinking about your finances too.

      Dwelling on a huge loss won’t help you. But looking at what you might spend that money on instead could. Perhaps a more permanent savings account, such as a pension is more suited. Or an ISA which you can’t withdraw from easily? Help your future self out while you figure out what’s going on with you in the present.

    • #54038
      LSA
      Participant

      Thank you for your feedback Emma. I do dwell on my loss. Money is not everything for me but I somehow want to earn (not win but earn) them back. It’s not about getting the money but to make it up. I made a mistake (lost money) and makes it up again (earn the same amount). Have worked extra hours to start earning it back. And feel satisfied by doing so. I also wants to change my life to get more happy and to feel my life worth living.

      Almost don’t think about gambling throughout the day but at night I get some urges…Time will surely kill these urges for good!

      I do have some, not too much, money to gamble again but don’t. It’s a victory everyday.

    • #54039
      LSA
      Participant

      Almost 7 full Days. Feeling much better. Last sunday I was in shock. I felt ill physically and mentally. It’s what gambling does to me. Won’t go back. Today I’m relaxed.

      Now my focus is to start changing my life for the better. I won’t write everyday anymore.

    • #54040
      ARB90
      Participant

      It might not seem like much yet but the first few weeks in recovery are the most difficult in my opinion so congrats on making it through the first week. I will be 2 weeks gamble free tomorrow and I’m already starting to notice the benefits of recovery. I look forward to following your progress and wish you all the best.

    • #54041
      LSA
      Participant

      Relapsed again after 5 weeks.
      I have been too afraid and busy to look at my bank account but I probably lost another 3000 euro. I know it will be close to 0.

      This time I got enough. I have self excluded from casinos and online bookmakers and will not be able to gamble anymore for a year. I should have done this 5 weeks ago! If I managed to login and won they wouldn’t payout my “jackpot” so now I just can not gamble. It doesn’t matter if I want, I can’t.
      (To upload other peoples ID to be able to gamble and such things is something I could never do, things like that and take out a loan to gamble is something I would never be able to do).

      I feel relieved..It’s all over! No more thoughts about gambling, I can not gamble anymore! Best decision ever.

      In some way it’s pointless to write now that I can’t gamble anymore BUT because I need to self exclude again in exactly 1 year from now and because I hope to show others that they can overcome this addiction, I will update regularly.

      Besides this relapse I’m doing much better than I was 5 weeks ago. Actually, I follow my plan and move forward each day.
      My plan contains three areas:
      1. Financial recovery
      2. Study/Career
      3. Personal life
      This relapse is clearly a retrogression in terms of (1) but I have still progressed in terms of (2) and (3) so I’m (mostly) moving forward.

    • #54042
      LSA
      Participant

      Spend time going through my bank ac*****.

      Overall I lost 15797€ ($17907 or £13769) since January.

      I may easily have lost 3 times more in my lifetime.

      Steev wrote somewhere that financial recovery may happen sooner than you think…I cling to that and I believe it’s true.

      I usually never spend money on anything besides food and my rent so basically I can earn it back within 1 year and still eat food in a warm room each day. Have earned 2.4 % back by working extra hours. I want to continue saving as before but save a little extra each month until I have earned 100 % back. If I get some unexpected money I take them as “earned back” but unfortunately people rarely sends me money..

      But actually I’m really not so concerned about money right now. It just needs time. I think about the next personal changes I want to make to make my life better. But I had to look at my financially situation, today I did. I need money for some of my goals but the next changes won’t cost anything.

    • #54043
      LSA
      Participant

      Urges but can not Gamble.
      Recommand everyone to self-exclude, only way forward for me.

      Every urge dies when I realize I can’t .

    • #54044
      LSA
      Participant

      Doing fine.
      No urges.
      I think I have given up, I tried gambling in my past and lost, just how life can be, stuff happens
      .
      Really good signs.

    • #54045
      LSA
      Participant

      Have not thought much about gambling in the last 8 days.

      It feels like forever.

      In my relapse I only gambled for like two days so have not been gambling much in 7 weeks. I do NOT miss it at all.

      I read a bit every day but have not been able to make huge changes in my life so far. I have made small changes and I hope they will add up to big changes!

    • #54046
      LSA
      Participant

      I’m proud to annonce that I have been GF for 5 weeks.
      It has been surprisingly easy. I think I just lost too much to continue and my self-exclusion helps a lot. I really haven’t thought seriously about gambling so far.
      My life is getting better too. I have begun to plan my future life.
      I feel more calm and enjoy my everyday life more than I have done for years.

      Of course with the situation in the world and the economic struggle which may follow I regret more than ever. But overall my life is better now than it was 4 months ago which is nice.

      Looking forward to celebrate 5 months, 5 years and 50 years GF but one day at a time!

    • #75608
      LSA
      Participant

      Almost…
      Relapsed two times but stopped after my initial deposit so I have lost less than 1000 euro in 9 months.
      My life is much more calm now and I’m sure I will never gamble again (if I get another relapse, it will be minor).
      Overall, my Life is getting better. My finances is back to were it was 1 year ago (lost my wages for one year). I feel happier and think my life will improve slowly over the next few years.

      Thank you for this forum!

      • This reply was modified 3 years, 4 months ago by LSA.
      • This reply was modified 3 years, 4 months ago by LSA.
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