I’m glad today is over. I can start back to a normal life routine again. I celebrated my course finish by buying myself some new tools lol. I could of bought flowers as I made this really cool copper vase while I was at school but I like shiny things more. I had a session with my counselor today I let alot of stuff out. I’m starting to notice I’m alot calmer even when I feel sad. I used to be sooooo angry all the time. I could snap in a drop of a hat but I haven’t been at all. I’m super content even though at times I feel lonely and sad, which I think is just natural especially through a breakup. I can feel my ptsd issues starting to get better. I didn’t think it was possible but this guy I have helping me is really actually helping me. I’ve had cognitive behavior therapy since I was a little girl. My mom was a psych nurse so she through me into treatment after my first stents of abuse started as a toddler. None of that shit ever helped me so I kinda wrote it off as being useless to me. I think now that I’m a more mature age of 34 (lol) I’m ready to let go of everything. I just want to be happy I never have been fully so I no this is the time. Being an addict is tough because it loves to toy with you inside but I’m going to fight that dark side of me with everything I got.
