Feel awful today. The stress, worry and anxiety is too much for me. Looking back, this is how I always thought I would end up. Being the youngest and having two difficult parents whose apsurd emotional needs I always had to cater to whilst no one ever cared for me, I’m not sure I ever stood a chance. If I wasn’t such a sensitive child and now a sensitive adult, things could have been different for me. I might have had enough ego and self-care to break off and become something. I might have had enough love for myself to find a partner and enough love for myself to say «no» to gambling. I feel so horrible today and want to die. I’m a person who worries way too much. Even if down the rabbit whole, no one should worry so much. So what if my creditors call me tomorrow? So what if I can’t make their payments? Why must I worry so much??
