Gambling Therapy logo

I discovered that a certain position that I used to hold in my previous organisation has been advertised. So, I spent most of my evening thinking of whether to apply for it or not.

I was one of the best performers in this organisation, started in this advertised position and then promoted to manage a different division within two years.

I do not want to apply because of a few reasons. Firstly, It will be emotionally taxing for me if I am not the selected candidate. If everything was fair, I will get this job hands down. But since leaving that organisation I have tried a couple of times to return without success. There are senior officials who are blocking my way because they were not happy about how I left the company three years ago. I hoping they can overlook that because this is not such a high position.

The second reason is, obviously I will have to give up a few thousands rands a month because of the salary drop.

Thirdly, I will have to face the humiliation of returning back to where I is in a sense a demotion.

I want to apply for it because I know the environment and i will be more happier there. The closing date is on July 11 and I will toss and turn about it for a few more days.

But in way this job advertisement got me thinking a lot about how I got to my current situation..again i realize how much gambling has negatively influenced my decisions. I would have not left my previous fact, even in my previous organisation, I dont think i would have wanted to apply for the manager job that i was given..because I was so happy doing what I was doing then. But because of gambling debts I kept on making decisions based on how much money will i get if a take a certain position.

So yah, all these thoughts about this position and my past and my current situation got me into a mild low…but today it is Friday and that is just good enough.

We are still day at a time.