I’ve often heard it said, through my Addictions counsellor, or reading, that the gambling is only 10% of the problem that we see. The rest lays beneath the surface like an iceburg. Most of us have been gambling for years by the time we seek help. And there are problems beneath the surface that either contributed to the gambling in the beginning maybe, or are the result of some of the consequences of gambling addiction. An example for me was that pre gambling Laura was a fanatical truth teller. And I had no respect for anyone who lied. Rock bottom gambling Laura had been lying either directly or through lies of omission for the past several years. This was a new trait that I now had to learn how to deal with, reverse. Not to mention the baggage of lying to my family and putting them in possible financial dire straits. I think I’m saying this because as you say you are tip toeing towards real recovery. And learning what it will take for you, because your story is unique, to be gamble free and in recovery. I was afraid to go to counselling too. She turned out to be a lovely non judgemental lady who helped me with me. She gave me more tools and just having someone to talk to who was so insightful I will be forever greatful. Not every counsellor is great. Not everyone is meant for us. If you try one and don’t like them don’t go back. I’ve done it before in the past. Just find a better one. You are worth it. Your family is worth it. Sometimes I think gambling addicts have lost the fight within ourselves. Real recovery means finding the fire within you to fight for you. Your list of accomplisments is great. Look at all you are doing. Soon these become the new habits and feel the norm. Feel proud of yourself IDI. Have a great day.
Laura
P.S. Sorry if I ramble sometimes, I am medicated lol
