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Dear Velvet, many thanks for your reply and I have taken some comfort from your comment that the “beast” can be controlled and life can be good again.

My husband is very supportive, has researched and read up – you are right its a very steep learning curve we have embarked on, and we have recognized that its going to be a long and divisive process. We have different approaches and coping mechanisms – I get upset and try to reason with my son, my husband gets cross that my son cannot see how much he’s hurting himself and ultimately me.

As you think conditions don’t really work, my immediate concern then is, am I doing the right thing – giving my son a rent free home, paying his car insurance etc as I know this is enabling him to carry on with his addiction and delaying the point of his reaching his rock bottom, or should I withdraw my financial support and let him reach his inevitable rock bottom a lot quicker ?

Thank you again for your post – it is very much appreciated.