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nomore 56

Hi Michelle, if I got your post right, you paid for the vacation and can go with or without him? First of all I know the romantic fantasy of a perfect family only too well. It gives hope that one day, just one day it will all come true. Rarely does though. You did recognize the enabling part, that is good. Maybe there is a way to turn it into something nice for you and your daughter. Do you really want him to go? And if he does, will it be a a nice time for you? If you have serious doubts, just go on without him. Take a friend like you did in the past and go and have a blast!
If you would like him to go with you, why not set him a deadline and tell him to come up with his share of the cost at a certain day and if he doesn’t, for whatever reason, go on without him. Personally I think that would not be enabling because he will not reap the benefits without doing his part. At least in my opinion. Cgs make promises all the time and have no problem breaking them without a second thought. Mine did it all the time. He bought stuff for our daughter and then never had the money to pay any important bills. When my daughter got older she told me that all she wanted was for her dad to be there and not to cause us so much pain. The material things meant nothing to her and she also thought that her father was all about money and never about the relationships, no matter with whom.
Maybe going with your child and a friend would do you more good than adding him to picture, I don’t know. Not an easy decision for you at this time. I hope it works out the best way possible and you are able to enjoy your hard earned vacation!