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Oh Liz 🙁 so hard. It seems like such a normal thing to want a good relationship with your mother and daughter.
Sometimes people are just a little broken. Either in how they are made up mentally or due to their circumstances. And as much as we’d like to fix them we can’t. There is a always a possibility that they may chose to work on themselves. Again we can’t force that issue. So as horrible as it makes you feel, setting some boundaries is healthy for you.
If you feel you said some things to your mother you shouldn’t have maybe an apology is in order. But only you know if that will stir the pot. You will likely not get one back from what you have said but sometimes we just have to forgive them! For your own sanity and know that you are forgiven too, if by no one else than yourself!
Rambling a little so hope that makes sense. Change is scary Liz! But being stuck is worse.
take care,