[BEEM]

Hello all I gave up gambling new years eve so it is day 13 no gambling today and feeling good. Thanks for all your help and advice

in group chat. Gambling was a relatively new habit for me a just few years started with scratch cards then was introduced to fobts playing

roulette. I found my poison of choice playing progressive pots roulette  and had some good months leading to the faulty belief that i could beat them long term.

After several years a rollercoaster emotionally and financially i realised you cant win long term playing FOBTs even progressive pots. I had several attempts at

controlling gambling but found i slipped especially a few days after a relatively big win (for those machines). I have come to the conclusion especially as you can only

win a maximum of £500 in one spin they will always win long term. It feels nice to win £500 in one spine especially with a low stake but in the long run it will build the habit

through positive reinforcement to come back and lose longer term. I have been using the gambling therapy app and some cognitive therapy tools from some other sources.

I find the gambling therapy group chat helpful and another related group chat as at times not gambling can feel isolating. Ihave also been playing some games on my phone to keep

me distrated exercise and practice mindfulness. Thats all for now I feel sure i am on the right path now and can do this 

 

[vera]

Good to meet you here, Beem. We have spoken in chat a few times.
Gambling is a very insular habit. Look around in a casino and see how everyone is caught up in their own buzz.
You are doing great. 13 G free days , for a CG is a marathon.
I am also “clean” so far this year.
I gave up free slots and phone games too, because in my case they are the thin edge of the wedge.
One day at a time, let’s hope gambling will vanish from our lives.

[BEEM]

Thanks and well done to you too for a gamble free start to the year. I don’t play anything gambling related ie free slots etc I just play stuff like scrabble and words with friends etc i get a bit of distraction and excitement from that for free.

[dunc]

Hello and thanks for starting a thread in the Gambling Therapy forums

Here at Gambling Therapy we pride ourselves on being a caring and diverse online community who can help and support you with the difficulties you’re currently facing. We understand that this might be a tough time for you, particularly if you’re new to recovery, so come here as often as you need to and participate in the forums, access online groups and connect to the live advice helpline if you need one to one support. We’re in this together!

Here on the forum you can share your experiences in a safe, supportive and accepting environment. The beauty of writing it all down is that you can take your time and you will be creating a record of your progress that you can look back on if it ever feels like you’re not moving forward. So, share as much or as little as you like but do try to stick to keeping just one thread in this forum so people know where to find you if they want to be updated on your progress or share something with you.

As well as the forums New Members are invited to join Charles in the New Members Practical Advice Group On Mondays at 21:00 (UK) and Thursday at 19:00(UK)

And on that note….

I’m going to hand you over to our community because I’m sure they will have some words of wisdom for you 🙂

Take care

The Gambling Therapy Team

PS: Let me just remind you to take a look at our privacy policy and terms and conditions so you know how it all works!

[BEEM]

Thanks

Well 14 days today no gambling so two weeks a good start to the new year and seeing some benefits emotionally and financially already. It is early days but I am feeling confident and happier in my self not gambling and am finding more productive things to do.

[jen3]

Way to go Beem! Keep doing what is working. Sometimes once we start to feel better we forget the misery that caused us to want to stop gambling in first place.. (just speaking from my own experience)

[BEEM]

thanks 

[BEEM]

18 days of no gambling feeling good and am glad of my decision to give up at new years. It feels good to have not gambled this year and started the year fresh. I have found the gambling group chat useful and Have been using Cognitive behaviour therapy tools too. I found the cost benefit analaysis CBA particularly useful in putting things into perspective which is a standard cbt tool.

[Jezi]

Well done! You are doing great. Im glad you found tools that works fot you.

Have a nice weekend!

[BEEM]

Thanks hope things are ok with you 

[vera]

Thanks for your post to my thread, Beem.
NOT gambling brings all the rewards I will ever need!
Peace of mind being the greatest.

[BEEM]

20 days no gambling feeling good weekends are more difficult as need to find things to do to fill time. I do have some thoughts about gambling and I do challenge those thoughts using CBT tools which really helps . Thanks for the help and support on this site from members volunteers and staff it helps not feeling alone with giving up gambling as I don’t share this with other people in my life generally.

[i-did-it]

Well done Beem.
20 days is a great achievement .
Keep strong my friend!

[BEEM]

Thanks all the best  

[BEEM]

27 days no gambling feeling good and moving forward . I am still using Cognitive behaviour therapy tools and challenging any gambling thoughts. I don’t get any real urges to gamble anymore and feel the challenging of the gambling thoughts has really helped that by nipping it in the bud before they begin.

[i-did-it]

Wow well done Beem. Can you describe the process of exactly how you challenge those thoughts . It might help others .

[BEEM]

A good place to start is the (CBA ) a Cost benefits analysis You will be able to find a more extensive example and worksheet online. Basically you draw a line down the centre of a piece of paper you label one side benefits of gambling and on the other side costs of gambing. You then write lists on each side it is a good way to shift your thinking. There are a few more fine details but that is the basic idea it is very effective.

[BEEM]

30 days gambling free and feeling good almost completed this month which is a significant milestone for me. I am feeling good and starting to see the benefits of not gambling both financially and emotionally.

[vera]

Great achievement, Beem.
Take a bow!

[Jezi]

Im happy for you, be proud of yourself.

Keep it going xxx

[Steev]

Good to hear things are working for you. Good to see you in group the other day.

[BEEM]

Thanks for your kind words and support vera

[BEEM]

thanks for the support jezi

[BEEM]

thanks for the support steev i value being able to drop into the group and talk to you all

[BEEM]

Happy to have completed 1 month no gambling feeling good. Thanks for all your help and support been great to talk to people who understand and relate to problem gambling.

[Steev]

Here’s to 1st of March, April, May etc etc.

[BEEM]

Thanks steev yes onwards and upwards 

[vera]

enjoyed the chat, Beem
Pity they muzzled us!!!
Talk soon
Keep it simple!

[BEEM]

Good luck with the organising

[BEEM]

I will be in  the chat room in 10 mins at 11.30 . All going well still gambling free over 40 days now. Thanks to staff and other participants for your continued support

[BEEM]

50 days gambling free and feeling good I completed the 8 week course in CBT for problem gambling at the national problem gambling clinic last week too. I have also signed up for smart recovery (which is cbt too)read their hanbook and attended one online meeting so far and daily chats online. I have also found the chatroom here very helpful and supportive. This is a new start for me and I am starting to see the benefits emotionally and financially already. All the best everyone.

[maverick.]

Beem really well done on 50 days gamble free thats a fantastic achivement, great to see you doing well and reading over your posts, was nice to meet you in chat, take care and keep doing what you are doing its great to see it working as always one day at a time.

Wish you well.

Maverick

[BEEM]

Thanks maverick I appreciate that good luck with your gambling free journey too

[vera]

Well done on your progress, Beem.
Keep moving forward.
Gambling is a waste of time and energy.
(not to mention money)

[BEEM]

Thanks vera that is very true

[BEEM]

60 days Gambling free feeling good onwards and upwards

[BEEM]

60 days Gambling free feeling good onwards and upwards

[Steev]

Well done that man. I have noticed your committment to posting here and in group. It is working for you.

[BEEM]

 

Thanks Steev hope things are going well for you 

[vera]

We are into month 3 now, Beem.
Steady progress. One day at a time.
Enjoy the freedom.
Gambling enslaves us.

[BEEM]

Thanks vera yes steady progress onwards and upwards 

[BEEM]

No gambling this year at all 70 days gambling free and feeling good, starting to really see the benefits. Thanks all that have been in the group chats and commented on the forum. Onwards and upwards have a great gambling free week.

[Steev]

Great that it’s 70 days and it has been good to see you on here and in chat. Here’s to the next 70 and beyond!

[BEEM]

Thanks steev good luck with everything

[AJ]

Im really happy reading this forum and the comments on it, watching the huge support from you guys makes me feel like there’s nothing we can’t beat. I don’t have words to describe how good it feels knowing that you have achieved 70 days G free which is a huge challenge for us CGs. I hope you continue doing this all the way up reaching the year and then 10 years and for the rest of your life.
Im now 5 days G free I hope I achieve the 70 days as you did! ty for your support back in the days.
Have a nice day and remember we can beat the thoughts inside us.

[BEEM]

Thanks for your kind words AD I am glad you have felt welcome in the group chats and forums. Well done on your gambling free time also the first steps can be the biggest achievemenm and foundation.The gamble free days mount up quickly and it gets easier the longer you dont gamble for any urges or gambling thoughts  become much less as time goes on. Have a great gamble free day and best of luck with your recovery generally.

[BEEM]

80 days gambling free and feeling good I have had the odd gambling thought but no real urges. Thanks to all on the forums in group chat and staff for all your support.

[Steev]

Didn’t someone travel the world in that time? No – only joking! 80 days is a really great achievement. Enjoy your gambling free time.

[BEEM]

Thanks steve I did think that about 80 days lol Hope your travels are going well

[BEEM]

Well i have made 100 days gambling free today I am seeing some benefits of not gambling however feel like i have reached a plateau on how i feel about it all. I have had some gambling thoughts when people have told me about the changes that have been made to fobts in the bookies wondering what they are like now etc. I know they will be the same logically just lower stake limit . Hope all is well with people have a good gambling free day

[Steev]

And one hundred days is a really great landmark. You should be proud.

There is no need to try out the new fobts – I didn’t try out the old ones when they came in (I was just a plain old slots man.) Just concentrate on the other things you are doing to keep yourself gambling free. Keep posting and take care.

[BEEM]

Thanks Steev hope the travels are going well

[vera]

Don’t listen to gambling talk, Beem. It’s all LIES.
Easter is coming.
You don’t want to break your stride.
Gambling has NOTHING to give us.
Well done on your G free time.

[BEEM]

Thanks vera hope things are going well

[BEEM]

Still gambling free this year working on cbt tools daily getting on with other activities. Good luck with recovery everyone

[BEEM]

115 days gambling free and feeling good been working CBT tools daily and keeping myself busy. Good luck with it all folks have a good gambling free day

[BEEM]

Thanks Running girl yes i am over the gambling thoughts i was having at 100 days. I use several CBT tools A good one to start with is the CBA cost benefit analysis if you google it you will find it online. HOV hierachy of values is another that works really well for me  too. I find the group chat in gambling therapy really helpful maybe see you in there one day. good luck and have a good gamble free day

[Gbabyh]

Well done on your 115th day free of gambling – that’s amazing. And thank you for your journal, because it has pointed me towards CBT tools. I just googled it and found lots of templates on Psychologytools.com, and I’m gonna give them a try because they look so good and inviting 🙂

Have a good one!

[BEEM]

Thanks and thats great good luck with using the cbt  tools hope they are as helpful for you as they are for me.

[vera]

Well done, Beem.
2019 has been G free , so far, for me too.
Did a bit of selling today. Better than throwing money away.

[i-did-it]

HI Beem,
Congratulations on your gamble free time.
I have joined the SMART site and it seems to helping already. Thank you for sharing how it helped you.
I have only gambled once this week , which was Monday and i only joined on Sunday . This is progress.

I love this bit best ” people are not their behaviours” so no unhelpful labels!

see you soon in chat !

[i-did-it]

HI Beem,
Congratulations on your gamble free time.
I have joined the SMART site and it seems to helping already. Thank you for sharing how it helped you.
I have only gambled once this week , which was Monday and i only joined on Sunday . This is progress.

I love this bit best ” people are not their behaviours” so no unhelpful labels!

see you soon in chat !

[BEEM]

Thanks vera well done on the gamble free time and online selling much better use of the time

[BEEM]

Thanks idi and glad  you are finding the smart recovery site helpful the smart  handbook is great too and the online meetings are really helpful. Yes I find it really helpful that there are no labels and they say people are not their behaviours that works well for me too. See you soon in chat 

[i-did-it]

Hi Beem,
I am still doing well with SMART.
Thanks for directing me towards it.
Hope all is good with you .

[BEEM]

Hi idi thats great glad it is helping. I am good thanks I am still finding Smart really helpful too. 

[BEEM]

Well this year is going by fast I am 149 days gambling free feeling good I do have a few gambling thoughts not real urges just thoughts . I am starting to forget why gambling was a problem but i know at times it did cause me problems and stress which is why I came here in the first place. I have a much more balanced general mood now I dont gamble I do get bored now and again but much better than the roller coaster of emotions that happens when gambling. Hope things are ok with everyone all the best

[Steev]

You are doing really well BEEM – good to see you in chat tonight and great that you are staying in touch!

[BEEM]

Thanks Steev it means alot great to chat to you too good luck with the travels 

[i-did-it]

Well done Beem !!!

[BEEM]

Thanks idi hope things are going well

[BEEM]

After 6months of being gambling free at a moment of stress and ongoing curiouslity about the gambling limits in bookies I gambled roullette on a fobts in bookies I continued mostly controlled gambling for a bit however I started chasing losses at times and started to become out of pocket quite often. I have decided that life is better without gambling again and am now 8days gambling free.

[Steev]

I found (on my many relapses) that even when I was only gambling for small amounts in (to my mind) a controlled way – the stress and the voices in my head “should I – shouldn’t I – how much for how long!” just weren’t worth it. Stress in the past could have contributed to my medical problems now. So cut it all out. Be a non-gambler. Well done on your 8 days.

[BEEM]

Thanks yes life is better without gambling less stress less up and down 

[BEEM]

10 days gambling free I had some gambling thoughts but no really big urges. Filling free time wth chess words with friends (like Scrabble) online and netflix. I have also attended smart recovery meetings online and used cognitive behaviour therapy tools

[BEEM]

Some gambling thoughts just keeping on with being gambling free. Attending group chat here smart recovery meetings and reading CBT literature playing words with friends and some chess online

[i-did-it]

Well done Beem. Thoughts will pass but the benefits of not gambling keep on giving !!

[BEEM]

Thanks idi yes it is a better life without it I am starting to  find other  things to do with my free time 

[Steev]

I wrote on my current thread about “affordable gambling” – that is when your means will cover the losses you have.

When I was off and on gambling (and whilst in GA) this happened to me a lot. I wanted to stop – but I found myself doing small bets and losing a little. It didn’t do a lot of IMMEDIATE financial damage, but I felt bad about myself and I hated having to go to GA and say that I had slipped again.

Eventually, I decided I had had enough of my brain being screwed up and put ALL my energy into stopping. And looking back I am so glad I did.

I might not have needed the money at the time – but a few years down the line, I met someone from the other side of the world – so I needed money to visit. I had to stop working as hard because of health issues – so I needed money to support myself. I am now travelling and the unexpected is happening where I need money to get out of a hole. The fact that I have been able to do these things is because I completely gave up gambling and put my money to better use.

I think you know why I am telling you all this. Redouble your efforts. Are there things you haven’t tried yet; counselling, GA (I can’t remember if you have tried that) hypnotherapy, journalling, whatever?

You don’t know what could happen to you down the line. You don’t know when your wealth (which is what we are talking about) will become a necessity. Keep strong. I hope to chat to you again soon.

[BEEM]

Thanks yes I have been gambling  a little again nothing major just life and finances are better without it to be honest. The 6 month break  helped change my relationship to gambling for the better however abstaining is better and more straightforward than trying to control gambling. 

[BEEM]

I have achieved at coming to the end of the year what could be considered to be moderate gambling. When I separate money I can use for gambling from other money this works quite well. The 6 month abstinence from gambling I had at the begining of this year has been key in changing a pattern of negative gambling behaviour. I will say however it was more straightforward to completely abstain as I then knew I just didn’t gamble rather than find an acceptable amount of money and time to spend gambling. I think for most people here completely abstaining will be the best course of action ; However there will be some who want to moderate or find it difficult to stop and need to restrict finances etc during those periods . It may be that I give up gambling again completely possibly at New year’s as even if gambling is managable for me it is still a bad habit and the time and money can be better spent. I have found this site in general and group chat really helpful during this period and also smart recovery meetings online. I use cognitive behaviour therapy tools from the NPGC course and smart recovery on a daily basis which I have found really helpful. Good luck to everyone on your gambling abstinence or moderation jouneys.

[i-did-it]

Hi Beem, it sounds like you have put a lot of things in place to help you moderate your gambling and that is a very good move .
I know many programs advocate moderation as well as abstinence, and I have no data to argue for or against it.
For me, it has to be complete abstinence because even when I managed to moderate a little my mind was never at rest – I don’t think I could give up this new peace of mind.

Continue doing what works for you Beem.
It may be that you do decide to abstain again – whatever you decide should be what works for you – not just financially, but also mentally .
Take care Beem and keep strong !

[BEEM]

Thanks idi glad you have got peace of mind onwards and upwards 

[BEEM]

After a period of controlled gambling that then lead to some slips and over spending and some problem gambling I have decided to abstain from gambling completely. I haven’t been on here for a while so I hope you are all ok .I have been gambling free for 2 weeks all the best Beem
n

[i-did-it]

Beem you are the bravest person. You tried controlled gambling, decided it wasn’t working for you and have come back with honesty to admit this and already look at the progress you are making.
nI am filled with admiration and look forward to reading more about your gamble free life .

[BEEM]

Thanks IdI that means alot thanks for the encouragement. You are always supportive and helpful thanks so much onwards and upwards.  

[steph40]

Hi Beem, I’m newish to this forum, I was going through your thread and got a lot of helpful information (like the SMART website and tools) so thank you for sharing!! In the past I have also thought I could control and reduce my gambling but have always gone back to being out of control. I know for me it’s all or none so am working at keeping it at none.

[charles]

Hi Beem, good realization. Well done on your gamble free two weeks. Now, while you don’t want to gamble, what things can you put in place for when/if any urges return?
n
nMaybe see you in a group.

[BEEM]

Thanks Steph40 and glad it was helpful. Hope things are going well for you 

[BEEM]

Thanks Charles yes I have a few therapy related things in place. I will  come to the the group chat too soon. Hope all is going well with you 

[BEEM]

So a month gambling free it’s been ok some gambling thoughts but no big urges. I have found I have overeaten a bit instead which is annoying and gained a little weight. I have also found I have been spending money on other things I don’t need so not immediately better off. I find I drink alot more caffeinated low calorie drinks sometimes 6 – 8 cans which is another borderline bad habit which although does not do damage calorie wise the caffeine etc is not great and had me a bit wired by the evening and effects my sleep patterns.The no gambling is good I need to work on the other obsessive behaviour bad habits that have sprung up in its place or channel this energy into good productive behaviours and habits in my life.

[BEEM]

Still gambling free over a month slowed down overeating and have been spending time listening and reading personal development and doing some CBT exercises. I don’t have big urges I have had gambling thoughts and permissive thoughts to gamble at times though

[BEEM]

I was up early today and still gambling free. Finding better things to do with my time.

[BEEM]

More than 2 months gambling free. I realise now that for some it can take several attempts. Some of the factors that have caused relapses before after periods of abstinece have been friends that gamble talking about their wins this was triggering to me beforehand I have now got stock answers ‘like you always lose long term ‘ which I think helps me. Also I think it starts putting them off talking about it lol. Also after some other councelling I realised that I was triggered by some stressful.people and conversation which I now avoid or handle differently . Thanks to all that have been supportive on the forum and in the group chat all the best to you all . Best wishes for all the journeys of improvement here whateever stage you are at

[charles]

Well done on your gamble free time Been.
n
n”I’m not interested, I don’t gamble any more” works as a good stock answer as well. 🙂

[BEEM]

Thanks Charles yes that’s a good stock answer too 🙂

[Author]

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