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Today I went by my former treatment center for a scheduled consultation. Here I talked with a new guy, who was a very experienced consultant with many years as an addict himself but also with many years of experience within treatment of other addicts. And he really opened up my eyes to something I hadn’t been able to see for myself.

I have severely negative thought patterns in general, but more so when it comes to situations which I find anxious, and this leads me to deal with these situations very bad. For example, I don’t like confrontations so I always find myself becoming submissive to avoid it, which builds a lot of anger and other bad emotions inside of me. My body can feel these emotions and this leads me to bad reactions patterns, such as isolating myself and/or returning to gambling in order to regulate whatever is going on inside of me.

This has made me aware of another important thing I must practice: Courage.
Before I emphasized a lot on honesty and openness, but courage is for me just as important. The courage to seek discomfort and not run away from anxious situations, while being open and honest about what I feel in a given situation. This is key for me because I can see many situations where the lack of courage, honesty, and openness have led me to bad reaction patterns and eventually gambling.

So, seek discomfort and practice to be in it – one day at a time 🙂