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Hi Hope
It is my belief that when we don’t know what to do it is best to do nothing but to stand still, think and discuss until, with enough information, an informed decision can be made.
A CG telling you to stay so that he can achieve stability is all very well if you are able to cope with staying, it depends on how ‘you’ feel. You cannot make his stop gambling. Is he seeking support to control his addiction because if he isn’t making any physical effort then his words, in my view, don’t count for much? .
Separation, in my view, does not need to end in divorce – his words could be further manipulation to make you behave or maybe he is afraid that this will be the only conclusion of you leaving.
Only you can know if you are leaving in the hope of forcing a change but that is not a good reason to leave.
Speak again soon Hope – maybe you can be more sure of what it is you want and what you hope to achieve if you push more thoughts around. Your earlier posts suggested that leaving him could well be for the best but this last post is less sure.
I hope some of this helps