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Hey Courage, right now you are just surviving! I’m the same in some respects, because it has only happened recently its still very raw and numb. At the moment I still feel frustrated at myself and annoyed but what can I do? you need to ride this wave out and it shouldn’t last for long.
You will slowly start to get your head together and feel positive, then you can stay focused and be sure not to do it again!! if you ever feel tempted remember how you are feeling now! and that you will inevitably feel like this if you gamble again!