[mythea]

I am a 30 year old female with a 20 year old gambling addiction. I am from Norway, have a masters degree from the University, and I am the mother of a 3 year old girl. I started gambling compulsively already as a young child. I remember my father bringing home new games; a roulette wheel, a slot machine or a bingo game. Already as a twelve year old girl I was steeling money from my parents to finance my playing at the supermall slotmachines. I remember the thrill I felt after making my first 30$ babysitting; knowing I could take the bus to the mall and play! I feel so sad just thinking about it. My gambling problem followed me all throug my teenage years, and I lost all the money I ever earned through years of working, but it was when I turned 23 the problem got real bad. That was the year I discovered internet gambling… During that summer I got a creditcard for the first time and I lost 4000$ quick. I continued playing everything I had, and some months later when I sold my appartment and earned 12000$ from it, I quickly lost that too. All through my student years I worked 80-100% on top of my studies to finance my gambling. But that wasnt enough. Over the past 6 years I have worked up a creditcard dept for 37000$.
For the past 6 months I have been working fulltime, and I have a pretty decent salary. I could get rid of my dept in 1-2 years time If I only stopped gambling. The problem is that my need to gamble blossoms when I see money in my account, and I have lost all the extra money I have earned since I started workning. I am afraid I’m about to fall into a dark void and never get out. If I continue in the same fashion I could ruin my economic future completely. But how does one stop gambling after doing it compulsivly for 66,66% of ones life? The last 2 days I have lost 4500$, and I feel a volmitting kind of regret. All I want is to do is escape this dreadful state, but I am so afraid it will just be another empty promise. I really need to make a commitment that can’t be broken. My life depends on it.
I am grateful for all the support I can get from others reading my message.

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