I want to end this nightmare. I just can’t stop ruining my f***ing good for nothing life. I know what I’m getting punished for, honestly. Lack of confidence, procrastination 90% of the time, stupid decisions and losing faith in myself. That’s all symptoms you could say, I’m surely in a bigger trouble than all that put together. I have no real interest in anything but videogames. It may be a stretch, and I have an ability to concentrate on work or study, but I don’t use it very often as I should do. I’m so, so tired of all that shit. I’m at risk of being expelled from university due to tons of academic debts. Not right now, sure, after this summer I’ll have the last chance. If not, three years wasted for nothing. And then the real danger comes. I live in a piece of shit country with conscription. Not only that. There’s ongoing war. If I get drafted I’m dead for sure.
A messy situation don’t you think? I wish I had more abilities to change my life perspectives for at least alright. I’m constantly trying to escape reality by getting into imaginary world. That’s what my parents always told me. I don’t wanna look at this dirty, stinky, garbage reality. It’s painful, and becomes even worse each freaking day. You could say I’m exaggerating. I have no pictures to take from to compare with mine. But that’s what it is for me.