Hello all,
Sorry I have not been able to access internet as I have been away. To be transparent with everyone I am also battling a drug addiction as well as gambling. Wewinwhenwedontplay I just want to say that post really means more to me than you know. When I am feeling like an outcast and so alone , it is posts like that that keep me going. I filed a consumer proposal and I have been gambling until yesterday. I was prescribed Wellbutrin and I have been on it for 5 days now. Today I woke up, with a different outlook on life. My mom bought be supplements and I have started my workout routine again. I just want to say without my family and girlfriend, I would have likely killed myself by now, been a homeless drug addict, or been in jail. These last two months have shown me that gambling truly has no bottom. From dining at 5 star restaurants, drinking the finest spirits, to fast forward 1.5 months and losing my Mercedes, having to take a leave of absence, losing my condo, nearly losing my gf, and contemplated suicide many times. I read a post of online gambling when I was in the wrath of it in 2019
Ajd someone said to never ever open that can of worms. I did and it ruined my life. I won, lost, won it all back, lost it again, won it all back, literally cleared my debt through gambling, had lots of savings again. Then lost everything. People used to tell me it’s not about the money ajd I never got it. Of course it’s about the money. I want to get rich! Now I see. It truly isn’t. Gambling is an escape. Every time something bad happened to me, fight witg gf, stress at work, fight with fam, I always went to gamble. Even if I won 20k.. I wouldn’t stop till it’s all gone. Because once I stopped.. then I’m back to my reality.. that’s why I couldn’t stop. It all makes sense now. Gambling is not about the money. It’s about escaping our reality because when we are in action, nothing else matters. Guys thank you for all your support. I have lost 6 figures, I have lost my car I worked so hard to get. My condo, my happiness.. my joy for life… but I have just a little
Bit of hope. Through the grace of god, my family, my gf, my friends, GA, and this group. I am fighting to see one more day. Just for today. I wilk not gamble , I will not use, I will not drink. I am not my addiction. I am Stephen Murray. I am a good
Person. As I am in tears writing this. Gambling has stolen everything that made me who I am. 13 year’s of my life gone to gambling. The lies, the secrecy. The emptiness, the time lost, the time lost with my loved ones, the broken relationships, the lost trust. Today it ends. Today I say. F U C K you gambling. I am stronger than you DEVIL. I will beat this with every ounce of my heart and soul. If anyone is doing thorough this addiction. Please don’t let it get to this point. Please save yourself. I love you all. I thank you all . I pray for you all, I pray for me. I will fight till the death. And if this happens to kill
Me. I gave it all I had. Goodbye for now