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Hi Sunflower
Cycles go round and round but they can be broken and true recoveries do start or I wouldn’t be here. It is impossible to tell a true recovery for a long time and I know it is exhausting waiting to know if this is the true one.
I cannot tell if your boyfriend is into a true recovery, or not, even he cannot tell you. It takes love, strength, determination and a lot of faith to carry on, it will sometimes feel impossible but I cannot tell you to give up or to carry on – the decision has to be yours because this is your life.
I don’t understand what his therapist is supposed to have said about him ‘not being able to do it all’ but that is possibly his perception of what was said. It is possible that the taxes and his bonus came at the wrong time for him if he was really trying – early recoveries are hard and the temptations and triggers can still overwhelm but he can do it.
You can protect yourself by sharing on this forum, by keeping a journal to remind yourself or how far you have come and by living in the centre of ‘your’ life and not on the periphery of his. Keep up with your friends, enjoy hobbies and interests that please you, never clear his debts or ‘lend’ him any money. Maybe you could ask him what you can do to support him, it is ok to let him know that you are struggling too.
Please keep posting.