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When I was my higher power, there is no God and no person to stop me when I was going out of control.

This has been the story of my life; I have destroyed every relationship, career, business important to me that was carefully nurtured, built and treasured over a long time.

Every incident has hurt me deeply, it was like losing a child I love forever and the person who murder them was me. I cannot bring them back now and it still brought back great pain and disappointment, regret and remorse when I think of them.

Every ending start with an impulse; it was a sudden strong uncontrollable urge to do or say something that was self-destructive.

I have destroyed every relationship, career and other success I had this way.